The Bet - Masters of Puppetry » Jikook

열아홉

Part Nineteen
"You're just as damaged as me..."
     
      
"Oh my God, it was you," Jimin whispered weakly, still in shock by the revelation. "It was you who set all of this in motion. The bet, the split. You wanted to see whether I would sleep with Jungkook because we never have."

It was true, by the way.

The two men may have been together for three years but hadn't even gotten to third base once, much less to fourth. It had been excruciatingly frustrating, especially for Yoongi. Whenever he had tried to set the mood, the younger had fled the situation, scared of any kind of intimacy.

Jimin had never told the other about his stepfather and about all the things he had done to him when he had still been a child. As a matter of fact, Jungkook had been the first and only person to learn about the darkest chapter of Jimin's life. That's why, to this day, Yoongi was afraid to have been used by the blond. After all, he had given him a place to live without even questioning why he had had nowhere to go in the first place.

They hadn't been friends before, they hadn't even known each other. Sometimes the raiven-haired feared that Jimin had only been with him for the advantages and not because he truly cared about the elder, that that was the reason why Jimin had never wanted to spend a night with him. Because that's just what you do when you love someone, right?

That's why Yoongi had arranged this whole play in the first place. To test Jimin, and to hurt him at that.

Yoongi might have done evil things in his life but he was by no means a bad person. He, too, could be extremely good-hearted and alas naive, especially when it came to the people he loved. Jimin had been one of them from the very beginning, ever since Yoongi had first laid eyes on him.

"Now I remember why that Namjoon dude looked so familiar when he came after me while grocery shopping. He was one of those twisted friends of yours. He was also working with you, wasn't he? Why didn't I realize earlier?"

Jimin felt so dumb.

"He's never been around that much," Yoongi responded unnecessarily, irritating the blond even more, which he noticed. "Listen, I'm sorry, okay? But when you broke up with me, I hit rock bottom."

"You think I was okay? I thought I was dying when I moved out."

"That's not what I mean," Yoongi tried to clarify, sighing softly before caressing his ex's cheek once again. "I just- It was hard for me to comprehend what had happened, what we had done to grow apart and what we could have done to prevent it. I became obsessed with that question. And when I unexpectedly ran into you the other day, I became obsessed with you. I just needed to know what and how you were doing without me, whether you had forgotten all about us and were dating someone new."

"So you followed me?"

"Yes," the elder admitted, almost feeling bad. Almost. He knew it was all but rational for anyone to do such thing, but he was of the opinion that it was still human nonetheless. "I saw you went clubbing quite a lot, so I just wondered-"

"If I was screwing around," Jimin finished the other's sentence as a bitter laugh escaped his lips. "That's why you asked your lackey to make Kook sleep with me. And when he became fond with me, it didn't suit you because it hadn't been part of your plan, so you orchestrated that stupid phone call for me to catch, didn't you?"

Yoongi simply nodded.

"You're such a jealous fuck," the younger swore, shaking his head in disbelief. "You need help. I hope you know that."

"Oh and you don't?," Yoongi snapped back furiously. "You're just as damaged as me, Jimin, maybe even more." That's exactly what Jimin had meant by their love's being toxic. The two men were only giving each other pain. They just weren't compatible, at least not anymore, not the way they had been once.

"Like, what is it that makes you run from intimacy so badly? Is it complexes? Do you find your dick too small? I'm serious! What is it?," the raiven-haired suddenly got abusive, breaking the other's soul. If only he knew. "I mean how fucking broken do you have to be in order not to long for being close to your own boyfriend?"

Jimin was shocked to say the least.

Not once during their relationship had Yoongi mentioned to be that desperate because of their bed situation. Jimin had always believed Yoongi had understood. "If it bothered you so much, why were you even with me for so long?," the younger male wondered.

Because he loved Jimin.

"I don't know. Maybe I just love a good challenge," Yoongi said out of spite, being keenly aware of the way he was hurting the other.

Jimin wasn't able to hold back his tears any longer. "Fuck you," he responded coldly before walking out of club, not looking back once. He seemed to do that quite a lot, he reckoned.

Perhaps Yoongi was right, regardless of the fairly harsh way he had put it.

Maybe there was something wrong with him. Maybe he was the reason for his own misery. After all the running he had already done in his life, it was no wonder Jimin was all alone.

And he was so fed up with feeling lonely.

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