The Bet - Masters of Puppetry » Jikook

열여덟

Part Eighteen
"I love you."
       
        
"Your hair is different. It looks very pretty," Yoongi commented his ex-boyfriend's change of hair colour as he ran his fingers through it gently. The elder, after all, hadn't seen him for about two or three months. They had coincidentally run into each other and, back then, Jimin had still been brunet.

"What do you want from me, Yoongi?"

"I want you back," the raven-haired admitted without hesitation and looked down at the blond male as if he was his whole world. He was. "I've missed you. Breaking up was the dumbest decision either of us have ever made."

"I made that call, Yoongi, not you," Jimin reminded his ex. "And I stick to my decision. You and I, we're not a couple anymore."

"But I gave you everything!," Yoongi suddenly bawled at the other angrily with tears forming in his eyes. He didn't understand, not in the slightest, at which point they had gone wrong. He had given Jimin a roof over his head and had been nothing but a supportive and loving friend to him. He had done everything within his power to make the other happy.

For example, Yoongi had always gathered the younger's favorite flower, lilies, whenever he got the chance. They were merely growing for a short time of the year, so you could only pick them on very rare occasions. In spite of that fact, Yoongi had still given his best to get hold of them.

They were small and graceful and had an intoxicatingly sweet scent. Plus, they symbolized sweetness, hope and humility, all of which described Jimin perfectly. Still, the best thing about them had been the face Jimin had made every time he had gotten a bouquet from his boyfriend back then. It had always glowed with happiness and had sufficiently marked how strong his love for the raiven-haired was. At that time, Yoongi had really believed for it to be undying.

"After everything we've been through, it's still so easy for you to push me away like this? To pretend as if I've never treated you well?," the elder noted, evidently hurt. "You're a hypocrite, Jimin!"

"I am not a hypocrite."

"Yes, you are!," Yoongi disagreed as he took a step back. To this day, being so close to Jimin did things to him he rather would've forgotten about. "You broke up with me, saying I was no good, when, in fact, you were the one who destroyed our relationship."

Disappointed by his remark, Jimin pushed the other after having shed some angry tears already, whereupon Yoongi almost fell backwards but, fortunately, the dancing crowd prevented that from happening.

"How can you possibly say something like that?," the younger asked, totally shaken by the accusation. "I'm sorry for my demons but I've never purposefully done anything to harm you. I loved you, damn it!"

"Did you really?," Yoongi genuinely wanted to know, still not quite having regained his calmness. "Because I did. I still do, Jimin. I love you."

Words like this hurted Jimin as much as a literal stab in the heart. Of course he had loved Yoongi. Why on earth was he even questioning it? They had been a couple, and had lived together at that, for several years. Yoongi had been Jimin's very first love.

The problem had been that, for one thing, the two had gone through so much, too much however. Both Jimin and Yoongi had only been crying during the last weeks of their relationship, which simply hadn't been healthy to endure any longer. Perhaps the raiven-haired didn't remember that anymore, but their love had grown very toxic by the end. For another thing, Jimin hadn't really gotten the chance to process all the traumatic experiences he had lived through during adolescence. That, of course, had affected their love life, too.

Jimin had still had very strong feelings for Yoongi when he had left the elder. Nonetheless, it would've been unhuman of him if he had strung Yoongi along despite his mental and emotional block. He had done the right thing, Jimin continued to be convinced of that.

So yes, maybe Jimin had played a major role in their falling apart but Yoongi was also to be held responsible.

"Please don't make it harder than it already is," Jimin spoke with a hoarse voice. "We have to move on from this already. You're only rubbing salt into the wound."

"I can't move on! I love you!"

"But I don't!," the younger exclaimed, realizing how much it was breaking the other male only after having said it. And in case you were wondering, yes, it hurt like hell. "I'm so sorry, Yoongs, but... We broke up almost two years ago. That's a really long time. Of course I still care about you and, of course, I am grateful for everything you've done for me but it's over. We are over. You'll have to get over me eventually."

"I just don't know how," the raiven-haired whispered as he lowered his head and started crying into his palms. It was a fairly rare sight, but it happened. That goes without saying.

"Don't cry," Jimin begged before putting his arms around his ex-boyfriend gently, although he had known beforehand that he wouldn't be hugged back. Bizarrely, it didn't feel weird at all. "Please, Yoongi. I hate seeing you cry."

"I can't help it," the elder murmured into Jimin's chest, soaking his shirt with tears.

Jimin felt so, so horrible. He felt even worse than after he had abandoned Jungkook because, this time, it was him who had hurt somebody. Was this how Jungkook had felt? How had he coped?

"Is it because of him?," Yoongi suddenly dared to ask in spite of his being aware that Jimin didn't know the raven-haired had been the main trigger for their break up yet.

"You mean Hoseok? God no." The blond couldn't suppress a soft laugh. "No, he's just a friend."

"I'm talking about Jungkook," Yoongi clarified as he looked up to meet his ex's gaze again.

Jimin was baffled. "How do you...?"

Then, all of a sudden, everything made sense. As if he had just put the puzzle pieces together into a coherent whole. "Oh my God, it was you," Jimin whispered weakly, still in shock by the revelation. "It was you..."