So, Here I Am

Chapter Twenty One A.J and Maggie

Maggie makes plans to meet A.J. for brunch.  She has to broach the subject of meeting his mother in Paris.   Larry has been in touch, saying the meeting with mama B has gone well, all things considered.   Laurent is much more accepting of the situation, now that he has heard her story from her own lips.   He also told her he had to tell Laurent everything that happened that night, and that he absolutely fell apart at the thought of what he did to her.  If she would allow it, Larry told Laurent he had to find a way to make it up to her, even if he took the rest of his life to do it.

Maggie " I don't know, Larry, I think we both need some time to digest what happened, figure out what it is exactly that we mean to one another, whether we miss "us".  I still love him, but I don't know how comfortable I'd be around him anymore, if I could trust him again, not so soon anyway".   Larry completely understood.

He had also mentioned that mama B was asking if A.J. might consider meeting with her.  Maggie knew he wasn't interested, but she felt she needed to sound him out again.  Circumstances were different now, he had met his brothers, tried to kill one of them, admittedly, but they were his brothers, all the same.   He was pivotal in the healing of this family now, of all of them.

They met at Taste in Soho, a restaurant famous for their American style breakfasts and brunches.

Maggie "Hey sweet, how are you ?" greeting her son.  They hugged and exchanged greetings and kisses.   Becs, the manager had greeted them warmly too, as they were regulars there now, and seated them at Maggie's favourite table in a booth in front of the window.

A.J. "How are you doing, haven't seen you in what seems like ages"

"It's been a week, A.J. "

"See how much I missed you ?" he said with such a saccharin smile, Maggie wondered what he might be after.  He didn't want anything, though, he was just bracing himself for what he knew she was going to ask.   The waitress had brought them their drinks.

Maggie "I need to talk to you abo......"

A.J. "No"

"You don't know what I ....."

"Yes, I do. You want me to go see my birth mother in Paris, and to try to get on with Laurent." his tone was flat and to the point.

"Why ? Why can't you, A.J., ? The circumstances are different now.  You know your brothers now. You were so kind and considerate of them when we had to tell them all that shit that night."

"Yeah, I was kind ok, until Laurent tried to rape you" he was so angry just at the thought.

"He did not try to ..."

"Yes, he did, mum ! He ripped your top off. Your breast was blue from bruises, he literally left his hand print on your chest. You don't think I saw, but I did, what he left you with was horrific, and I don't just mean physically", his head was bowed now, slightly embarrassed that he had to tell Maggie what he had seen that night.  Seeing his mother so beaten and bruised was not a sight any son should have to see.   He carried on.

"When Larry and I got to your room, we found him with his pants around his ankles with his dick out ! Please don't tell me two and two don't make four.  And please don't tell me you still feel something for that ass wipe, mumma, just don't !"

Having heard it like that, it was hard to dispute the facts.  But facts don't work well with emotions, and she did still feel something for Laurent.    What they had before all this.

Maggie "OK, look at it this way. You don't have to have anything to do with Laurent, ok ?  Don't even factor him in at the moment.  Just see mama B first.  She knows you know about her now, and she'll be devastated if you don't want to see her, she will.   And Larry wants to get to know his younger brother, too.  He's not the baby anymore, and that's a big deal.  You are the crucial piece of the puzzle that is this family.   All of them, A.J.  All of us.  You are the piece that can start to heal this family"   She was absolutely genuine in her feelings about this.

A.J. let out a huge sigh, and rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

-- Shit, why did she have to go and say that ?! --

"Don't guilt trip me, mumma, that's not nice. It's all true, but it's still not nice".  He had an expression on his face somewhere between a smile and a frown, which summed up his emotions exactly.

"You don't have to have anything to do with Laurent yet if you don't want to, A.J.  Just mama and Larry.   But you have to give him a chance, everyone deserves a second chance.  He's your brother too.   And if I'm willing to, then so should you".

"You're willing to give him a second chance, after everything he did to you, everything he put you through ?" he couldn't believe she was prepared to do that.

"I can't dwell on it, sweetie.  Constantly looking behind you means you can't look forward.  You're a good man, A.J.  You're just hurt that he hurt me, but where I go with that is up to me.  But I love you for it" she said sweetly, showering his face with exaggerated kisses, just as the waitress brought their food, embarrassing the crap out of him.

Maggie "Just tell me you'll think about it, seriously"

"I'll think about it seriously" he quipped.

That's all she needed to hear for now.

The healing could begin.

After their talk over brunch, and many late night calls, persuading, cajoling and pleading, A.J relinquished and agreed to meet his mother, but that Maggie shouldn't expect too much.  She had told him as much as she could about his birth mother, what a good mum she was to the twins, what a lovely and giving person she was.   Trying to give him a reason why she would be desperate enough to give him up.

Maggie called Larry.  He would be ecstatic that this would now actually happen.  She still hadn't spoken to Laurent since that night a few weeks ago.  She wouldn't know how she would react if she heard his voice again.

Maggie "Hey Larrbear, how you doin'?"

Then her usual first question, "Hows Laurent ?" It was obvious she still cared about him.

Larry "He's good, all good. How are you? What's up?"

"Larry, A.J. is willing to meet mama B !"

"Oh, um, OK " She was a bit taken aback by his lack of enthusiasm, she thought he would be over the moon at the news.

"Isn't that we were all working towards, especially mama ?"

"Yeah, of course it is, she will be so excited it's happening "

"Then what is it, Lar ? You don't seem so convinced"

She was so familiar with him now, and he loved that she called him by his nicknames.

"You'll be coming too, yes ?  And Laurent will be there.  I'm worried for you, Maggie.   Will you be OK ?"  Bless him, she thought, he really was her little brother, too.

Maggie "The reason we're coming is for A.J. to meet his birth mother, and for mama B to meet the son she gave birth to, but hasn't seen since the day he was born.  Laurent will just have to be a grown up about it, as will we all.   It's going to be emotional, I know, but we can do this, Larry, we can.  This family, yours and mine, can start to heal after all this turmoil.   And then maybe Laurent and I can start to heal, too "

Larry was stunned by the last part of that statement.

"So you and Lau .... you still .....want to ...."

"Yes, Larry, I still want to....", laughing as she trails off the end of the sentence.

Larry "He needs to know that, Maggie. He's been beating himself up so bad over all this.  Any chance you guys can talk, when you come over, just talk?"

"If he wants to, yes, of course"

"You're a wonderful woman, Maggie" he says, and she hears how happy he is.  Happy Bunny, she thinks, and that makes her smile.

Maggie "Anyway, tell mama, and let me know when it's convenient for us to come over, and I'll make the arrangements, OK?"

"Ok, and thanks, for everything."

"No probs. Say hello to Lau for me, will you ? Bye Larrbear!"

She hangs up the call with a huge smile plastered across her face.