So, Here I Am

Chapter Seventeen Fallout

Maggie wanted another drink, but she didn't dare.   She would end up getting fucked up, and would say or do something she would regret later.   She didn't want to put the twins through any more, especially Laurent.   A.J. had a drink now and he made his mother a cup of tea.   They couldn't hear anything coming from her room.

A.J "What do we do now ?"

Maggie "I dunno kiddo, I really don't know"

"How are you ? Really, what are you thinking, mumma ?"

"Like you said earlier, this is fucked up.  I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, you know, helping her, adopting you.   Did you know, their dad hurt Larry when he was little ?  He "fell" from a second floor balcony, and was in hospital for weeks.  The twins were both in a coma in beds next to each other, Laurent couldn't deal with his brother being so hurt."   Then she asked A.J. something that surprised him.

"Are you happy with the way your life with me has turned out, A.J.?   Have I been there for you, have I loved you enough ?"  His eyes filled with tears again  -- shit with the tears already --

"Of course I am mumma, I always have been, you couldn't have loved me more"  All logic and clear thinking had gone out the window now.

"But you could have grown up with your twin brothers. You would have been thick as thieves. You would all have been models and dancers, and had girls throwing their knickers at you everywhere you went!" she laughed at how ridiculous that sounded.

A.J. "Yeah, sounds great !", he said, sarcastically.

Just then the bedroom door opened, and they heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall. Laurent appeared around the corner, his brow furrowed.  -- he must have a mother of a headache -- thought Maggie

Laurent " You have a plane, no ?" He was looking directly at Maggie.  A.J. tried to put himself between his mother and Laurent, but she gently moved him aside, nodding it was ok.

Maggie "Yes".

"We need to go home to see Mama. Can we use it ?" His voice was somewhere between angry and desperate.

"Of course, it can be ready in the morning"

"I guess that will have to do then, won't it ?" he huffed in her face, turning to go back to her room.    This was torture for her.  The man she loved, yes, loved, she now realised, hated her.   Will always hate her.   And things will never be the same, ever again.  Ever.  Then she realised that he and Larry were in her bedroom.   Didn't matter, she would sleep in the spare room tonight, she always kept the bed made up, and spare clothes for emergencies.   And the longer she could leave Laurent alone, the better at the moment.   But it was killing her inside.   She wanted to comfort him, hold him while he cried, shush him until he slept in her arms.

A.J. "I'm staying here tonight, mum, ok ?

Maggie "You don't need to, I'll be fine."

"I don't trust him, you know I don't.  Larry's cool, but I don't trust Lau"

He was being the caring, concerned son that she knew him to be, and she loved him for that. Then a thought hit her, and she felt dreadful.

"You know it's likely we meet up with the twins ....your .....mama.  You ok with that ?"

A.J. "No, I told you, she hasn't come looking for me, why now ? They can say what they want to her, I'm not interested."

"But now she will know that ya'll know, and she might want to meet you"