So, Here I Am

Chapter Eighteen Hotel 1

Larry booked them into a hotel that wasn't too far from Maggie's apartment, and not far from the airport, ready for their flight to Paris in the morning.   They made their way to their room in silence, in fact, Laurent hadn't said a word since Larry picked him up off the floor after A.J. had decked him.   He looked defeated, utterly broken, his head bowed to his chest, just following his brother where he led him.

They entered the room, Larry throwing the bag and the car keys on the bed.   Laurent flopped on the bed nearest the window.   He then curled up in a ball, and as Larry saw he wasn't going to be moving far tonight, he took off Laurent's shoes, covered him with the duvet, kissed him softly on his cheek, and turned off the bedside lamp.   He then turned on the T.V. to a low volume, just so he didn't have to deal with his thoughts in the silence, and turned on the shower.  He undressed, stepped under the blisteringly hot water, and sobbed, his cries racking his body with pain.

His mind was kind of numb, but at the same time reeling with thoughts and feelings from the previous few hours.  They were coming thick and fast, so much that he just couldn't process any more.  He was exhausted, he needed to sleep, if he even could.

What were they going to say to Mama tomorrow ? What could they say ?   He would just go with whatever his heart told him when they were face to face.   Whatever was going to happen, it would be one of the worst moments of his life, having to do this to his mama.  And now, because he was so tired, he would prepare for that tomorrow as best he could.

Larry had set the alarm for 7 am, remembering the plane would be ready after 8. He was so thankful to Maggie for doing this for them.   He couldn't imagine having to get Laurent around an airport for a commercial flight in the state he was in last night.

The sunlight was just starting to move into the room, and Larry shaded his eyes as a glint hits him in the face.   He then sees that Laurent isn't in his bed.   A slight panic starts to rise in his chest.

"Lau ? Laurent ?"   Nothing.   He physically goes to check the bathroom, in case he's in there and hasn't heard Larry calling him.  Nope.  Mild panic now.   Shit !  Fuck !  FUCK!!

He hastily puts on his sweats, taking the key card and his phone, and heads to the elevator. He decides he can't wait, so he runs the three flights down to the lobby, and out the front doors. What now ?  Where does he start to look for him ?  He's hardly likely to just be sauntering along the pavement towards him, is he ?

He calls him.  No answer.  He calls again.  And again.  Still no answer.

-- Shit, Lau, where are you ?! --

He has an idea.   He goes to reception.

"Excuse me, has anyone seen my brother this morning ?"

"What does he look like, sir ?"

-- You gotta be fucking kidding me --

"He looks like me, exactly like me, we're twins"    The receptionist looks puzzled now, as if the fact that identical twins could look alike eludes her.  -- ooh, wait a minute, there it is -- Recognition crosses her face.

"Oh, yeah, sure, he's in the gym".   Before she had even got the last word out, Larry was running down the hall.  He swipes his key card, and finds Laurent doing stretching exercises on a yoga mat.

Larry "You didn't wake me ?  You couldn't at least let me know you were going somewhere, you mother fucker !"

Laurent "Thought I'd let you sleep, bro. Why you so bent out of shape ?"

"You were barely concious last night, Lau, you were the walking dead.   I thought you'd sleep for a week !"

"Yeah, look at these damn bruises, shitty little fucker can throw a punch, can't he ?!"

So you remember last night, then?  All of it?"  He looked at Laurent sheepishly, in case it all came back to him, and he started to lose it again.

Laurent " I remember .... Maggie telling us all that shit .....going to sleep ....A.J. smacking me ....waking up here.  Why, what is it ?"  Larry couldn't believe he was going to have to fill in the blanks.

Larry "Are you done, we have to get ready to get the plane to go see mama"

Laurent "Why do we have to go see mama ?  She knows what she's done.  I don't need to see her face to face for her to know how much she hurt us, Larry !"

"Bro, we need to talk about this in our room, not in public, ok ?"   The few other people in the room were staring at them, at Laurent raising his voice, scared for their own safety more than anything.  He was a very large dude.

Back in their room, Larry was running his unusually bare fingers through his fro in exasperation. He knew his brother as well, if not better, than he knew himself.  He was still angry, still in pain, but he was coping with what he THOUGHT had happened, what he THOUGHT he knew.   If Larry had to tell him what he did, and what he tried to do to Maggie, shit, he really didn't know what his brother might do.

What if he went back into himself, and never came back ?  What if he got violent again ?               He didn't know how to handle this..... he would call Maggie while Laurent was in the shower.

"Hi, Maggie, it's Larry" 

"Hi sweetie, how are you? How's Laurent?"  Her voice was husky from a sore throat, endured while Laurent had his hand around it last night.

"That's the thing, Maggie, we got a problem."

"What? Is he OK? Are you OK?"  She was concerned for both of them.

"He doesn't remember, Maggie. He remembers some of it, you telling us everything,  A.J. hitting him"  Despite himself, Larry was smiling at the fact that Laurent was getting all worked up, not at the fact that A.J. had beaten the crap out of him, but that the skin covering his beautifully chiseled cheekbones was red and swollen, and he had two black eyes.  Not a good look.        Larry continued.

"But he doesn't remember being in your room, what he did.  Maybe it's his brain's way of protecting itself, you know, if he can't remember, then it never happened.   Question is, do I tell him ?  Do you tell him ?  Do we just not mention it, and hope he never remembers ?"  He just didn't know what to do for the best.

Maggie " Just give it a while, Lar, see how his reactions are over the next few days.  While he's talking with mama, he may start to remember, just be prepared for that, ok ?  He's, and you too sweetie, you're gonna have a lot to deal with over the next few days."   Larry felt the weight of the world on his shoulders just then, and as if she knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling,

"Surround yourself with your support system, Larry.  Go find your friends and family when you get home, talk to them.  Let them know as much or as little as you need to, ok ?  Let them help you."   Her voice was soft and kind, and it made him feel a little easier.  But Laurent had always been his support system, and now he was sad beyond belief to think he would never be that for him again, for each other.   Maggie wasn't done

"And I hope I can count myself as part of that, Larry, for you and Laurent, and mama too.  If I can help in any way, please let me know.  Promise, you'll let me know."

He promised.

He thanked her, and once he was happy with her answer when he inquired how she was, he hung up the phone.   Wiping away an errant tear, he turned back to the room.

Standing on the other side of the bed, a towel around his waist, was Laurent.  Panic again was rising in his chest, not knowing how long he had been standing there, how much he had heard.

"Lau, I was just...."

"What did I do, Larry ? What did I do to Maggie?"