So, Here I Am

Chapter Forty Love and Trust

Laurent walked slowly down the hallway of the apartment with which he was so familiar.          The view, of course, that always took his breath away.   The comfy sofa, scene of many heated discussions, and heated make-out sessions.  The kitchen, Larry's favourite hangout while he was here, where he and Maggie had cooked fabulous meals for them all.  The bedroom wasn't in sight, thank god, he thought he would just about lose it if he were to remember that much love flashing before his eyes, like a condemned man reliving his life, just before he died.

Though he hadn't been here for a while, he was still comfortable in this space, and his heart was starting to crack open at the thought that he may never be here again after today.

Maggie "Would you like a drink, Laurent ?" So formal, but not cold.

Laurent "Coffee would be great, thank you, black ..."

"I remember" she said, and he thought he could detect a hint of sadness in her voice.   She brought them both their drinks, and sat opposite him on the other sofa.  So she could see his eyes, his face.  They were an open book to her, and she would know what he was thinking, feeling when he talked to her, whether he was lying or not.

Maggie "So, how have you been, Laurent ?" Again, so formal, she wasn't going to let her guard down that easily.

Laurent "I've been better, Maggie.  Had a bit of a meltdown when you left.  Larry had to stage an intervention, he's been so amazing !  I don't deserve him "   Maggie -- no, you don't -- he continued

"I've been seeing a therapist, you know, try and figure out why I do stupid shit " he said, smiling to himself a little.   -- he's trying, at least --   Maggie was staring at him, unblinking. It made Laurent slightly nervous, so he broke the silence and carried on

"Larry's good, he and Issy are all lovey-dovey, makes you sick" he said, chuckling, obviously happy for his twin.   -- We used to be like that too --

Maggie "I know, I talked to him a few days ago" she said it without thinking.

"You been talking to Larry ? He didn't say anything"

"We still have to arrange about the ICD workshops, and some legal stuff about your grant to "Winged Feet"  She was trying to hide the fact that she had been calling Larry to check on Laurent, but had sworn him to secrecy.   She knew how hard it would be for Larry to keep anything from his brother, and she made sure she let him know how grateful she was.

"What about you, how have you been, Maggie? You look good"-- Of course I do -- but so do you -- The man she saw before her now was nothing like what she imagined he would be like, after Larry had told her the state he was in after she left, before the intervention.   He was as beautiful now as he ever had been.   But now she had to answer him

"Yeah, good, you know, lots of work, charity stuff, events to attend, all that stuff"

"Lots of dates" he said, without missing a beat. Was he being sarcastic, or jealous?  He was the last person to be judging her ....

"I'm not a hermit, Lau, I still have to bee seen out there, you know.  All the questions about why you weren't around got tiresome.  Having another man around shut everybody up for a while" She was slightly annoyed he would be so accusatory, it was none of his damn business.  He didn't know she tried to keep these "dates" to a minimum, so as not to hurt him any more than she had to. -- unlike him ---

Laurent -- she called me Lau -- something so small, so familiar made him feel hopeful all of a sudden. --  she still thinks of me as Lau  --

Laurent "Sorry, of course you do. A woman like you shouldn't be without an amazing man who can appreciate everything she is".   It sounded corny as hell, but it was meant genuinely, affectionately.  -- Damn straight, I shouldn't --  For some reason, he had raised her hackles, and she was spoiling for a fight.   To get him to react ?   So she could show her true feelings without crying, weeping, begging ?   To save face ?  She didn't know, but she couldn't stop the feeling.  Her father had always taught her "If a fight is inevitable, hit first, and hit hard"   So she went with that.