The Person Behind The White Robe (Completed)

Chapter 29

#TPBTWRWeAreOkay

Minsan naiisip ko kung bakit hindi kami masyado naglaan ni Hyle ng panahon para sa isat-isa.

Kasi kapag importante ka, whatever it takes gagawin lahat para lang makita ka.

Diba?

I am slowly stroking Hyle's hair.

"Bakit parang wala ng tayo?" I asked him even if he is asleep. Pero i dont want him to answer my question either.

Nakahiga katabi niya habang niyayakap niya ako. My arms are extended enough to cup his face and my other free hand stroking his brown colored hair.

"Bakit parang—"

I stopped talking when Hyle groaned.

Pero nagising siya siguro dahil nakahawak ang kamay ko sa pisngi niya.

"Hey..." He whispered.

"Hey..." I whispered back.

Is it just me?

Why is everything so heavy between us?

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"Yeah." He timidly answered.

"I want to... Hyle... I... I know youre not in the mood right now. Surely we are both tired with our individual lives. Making our dreams happening. Making sure our goals are— " I sighed.

Right.

We were too focused on our academics. But isnt that a good thing?

Isnt giving each other a space good enough?

Isnt it a practical way of having a relationship while living life?

"Whats wrong, Ari?"

Napakunot ang noo ko na parang naiiyak na.

I sat down properly. Setting my feet on the floor. Hyle didnt moved. He waited for my response. Just waited...

"Hyle, are we still even in a relationship?" I directly asked.

Better to be frank.
Than hiding it all inside. Masasakal ka lang.

Naramdaman kong nilagay ni Hyle ang kamay niya sa bewang ko. He sitted beside me.

"Are you okay?" He asked back.

"Are we..... okay, Hyle?" I asked back.

I looked at him but he looked away.

"Hyle, may gusto lang talaga akong malaman. Sa binyag kanina, alam mo naman na siguradong andoon ako diba?"

"I know you are confused kanina. I am just not feeling well, Ari." Sabi niya.

Okay.

I shut up.

"We are okay." He said after a long silence.

"Oh we are?" I asked.

"Arent we?" He asked.

Namumuo ang luha ko.

He looked at me in the eye. He saw how my heart crumpled and my heavy tears fell down my cheeks. It flowed and it really stinged.

"Hyle, How are we okay?" I asked. Breathing heavily.

He didnt changed his expression. It was as if He expected me to say all this shit.

"Hyle, paano tayo okay? We havent seen each other for years, Hyle. We havent talk. Nag-update sa mga gawain pero alam mo yung mali? Parang wala na tayo sa buhay ng isat-isa." I stood up. Wiped my tears. Turning my back on him.

I didnt want to look at his reaction.

I just dont want to know.

"Hyle, everytime Id say I am not busy. Busy ka din. Its like... fate is playing us."

"I know, Ari. I know."

"You knew?" I madly said. "Hyle, you knew the world is tearing us apart. Why cant you... " I stopped.

—do something and make me a part of your world again? But I just broke down.

Alam mo yung feeling na parang hindi ka worth sa risk kaya okay lang na wala lang. Okay lang na wag lang muna. Okay lang na ipagliban nalang.

Paano kami okay?!

"Ari, were too tired and drained right now baka may masabi pa tayo sa isat-isa..." He said. Standing beside.

"Kaya nga hyle! Kaya nga sabihin na natin ang mga reasons kung bakit parang wala na tayong oras para sa isat-isa. Why hyle? Have you met someone else? May iba ka na?"

He cupped my face.

"You are overthinking this, Ari."

I took his hand off me.

"Then tell me Hyle!"

"Bakit ka ba sumisigaw, Ari? Ganyan na ba ka babaw ang tingin mo sa akin??" Sabi niya. "I was just busy!" He shouted back.

Now my chest is tightening.

"Sinong hindi mag-ooverthink, Hyle?! You are not checking up on me anymore! You are not calling me nor texting me! Hindi mo na ako kinukumusta. How's my day went. Sinong kasama ko pauwi. Kumain na ba ako sa almusal, sa lunch, or sa dinner or nagsnack naba ako or mag ask ka man lang sa akin kung nagugustom ba ako?! Everytime Matatapos ang duty, walang taong magsusundo sa akin..." umiiyak ako na parang bata na nagsusumbong na walang tao para sa akin. At naawa ako sa sarili ko everytime maiisip ko na may boyfriend naman ako pero hindi niya magawang lapitan ako sa mga panahong kailangan na kailangan ko siya.

"You dont even tell me that you miss me, Hyle. You dont fucking meet up with me every monthsary and fucking anniversary!" I inhaled air dahil sa sunod-sunod na mga sinabi ko.

"You dont even kiss me anymore." I continued...

Hyle hugged me pero I pushed him away from me.

I was so crying heavily and he was frowning like he was guilty. I can see tears over his cheeks.

"Hyle, you dont even fucking touch me!"

At doon kami natigil dalawa.

I felt so drained.

I walked out from his room.

Napansin kong maraming libro everywhere sa bahay nila. There's also a lot of charts and figures.

I just thought... I'd have to get out of here.

I cried while walking.

I just really want to cry it all out.

Matinding hikbi.

Naglalakad sa street ng walang pake kung may makakakita man sa akin na umiiyak.

Until I bumped with someone...

"Ari?" A girl's voice. A familiar one.

Nahihiya akong tumingin.

"Ari, oh my god." She immediately hugged me.

I saw the guy behind her. It was Ron.

I realized it was V who's hugging me and patting my back.