The Person Behind The White Robe (Completed)

Chapter 20

#TPBTWRSore

I went outside after what happened.

Hindi ko mapagilan ang sarili ko na mag-blush tapos ang dumi-dumi nang mga iniisip ko. Ayokong isipin kasi nakakahiya at awkward.

Minutes later nakita kong bumukas yung pinto.

"Hey." Hyle. Is now looking presentable.

He cant look into my eyes.
I was just looking at him when I found myself looking down below his belt. Shit.
Erase. Erase.

"Oh, uhm. Hi."

"Im sorry about earlier. Pero why dont you come on in?"

I smiled at him. Still not looking straight into his. I just avoided his gaze. It wouldve been so awkward to do that.

"Uhm. I actually just came here to talk to you. Jov just..." I said.

He beamed.

"Im sorry about earlier." He said.

"Yeah. Me too. I mean, I dont know that you were taking a bath at this very hour. Its like in the middle of the night na.

"Ah. Nainitan lang." he reasoned out.

"Okay." I said.

"Okay."

Why am I thinking otherwise?

"So you wanna talk?" Hyle asked.

I looked at him.

But he was still avoiding my gaze. But why? Awkward pa rin ba? Cant he just forget what happened earlier and tell me what is going on with him and me right now?

"Its a serious topic, hyle. Gusto ko lang ulit linawin." Sabi ko. "That night you told me that you like me... is it true?"

He didnt answer.

"Can you still remember?" I asked.

He still stay silent.

After a moment...

"What is it that you want to clear out?" He asked. I looked at him and I feel like I dont know him. This weird feeling na dala-dala ko nuon like ang excitement to see him or the thrill everytime I expect na makikita ko siya sa school— its finally over.

I feel like I dont want to see him anymore. Thats how his looks affects me.

I choose to look away and answered, "What am I to you?" I asked.

Napakunot ang noo niya.

I swear ang kapal na nang mukha ko para iconfront siya. Come on, Ari! Its not like he told you na gusto niyang makasama ka. Its just that he is saying that he likes you not likes to be with you. What if nagandahan lang siya sa ilong mo? O kaya sa smile? He didnt told me enough...

He beamed with the question.

"Im sorry, Ari. But this is a misunderstanding." He said.

I have felt my heart crushed.

Naglakas loob ako na magpakita ng ngiti but it pained me inside instead. This is so embarassing. Para akong bata na nagpapalinaw kung bibigyan ba ako ng candy na akala ko lang pala ay bibigyan ako. Akala ko lang pala.

"That night, I actually told you the truth the I like you like I like you but uhm..."

"Ah." I said and laughed. "I got it. Okay."

I gasped for air when I felt my eyes closed to tears.

Mabilis akong yumuko.

"Sige sige. Alis na ako. May gagawin pa kasi ako sa bahay." I immediately stated an obvious excuse.

He didnt answer. He didnt buy it.

"I gotta go." I said and left feeling down and embarassed.

Bakit ba kasi pinush ko pa?
Nakakahiya.
Nakakahiya ka Arianne.

Umuwi akong luhaan.

Akala ko kasi confession yun nang isang tao. And I like the person in return kaya nag-eexpect ako na may something na.

Bakit ba kasi ako yung umuuna? Hindi ba pwedeng hihintayin ko nalang siyang mag-first move?

But Hyle is always gone.

Like a dust.

Like air.

Parang bula.

Mawawala lang bigla in a split second.

Nang makarating ako sa bahay, I decided to go directly to my room. I choose to lock myself.

I was embarassed.

Ang kapal ng mukha ko kanina. Napahiya lang ako.

I cried in my sleep.

Even after I sleep, I still feel sore inside.