A storm over head (Daryl Dixon fanfic)

carl letter

Tamara had gathered what was left of her group and they made there way to alexander . entering the gate tamara tired what she hoped was the cure around her neck . in front of her stood rick , is face was red he closed the space between them and they both cried not just because of the boy who had died but for the people they had both lost . after they finished hugging rick dug around in his pocket , before he pulled out a letter. " it from carl "

tamara nodded and attempted a smile , going over towards daryl she took hunter from him,"i'm going to read this on the porch " daryl nodded briefly before she walked away sitting on the rocking chair that she had spent so many sleepless nights on she opened the letter .

his writing was crooked ,and she smiled at it, this was a writing of a 7 year old and even though he had so much time to grow . his writing didnt .

dear tamara ,

this world really likes to test us doesn't it ,  i wrote a letter to negan and my dad first because i didn't want them to fight i truly hope they didn't  . dale always told us that we shouldn't loses our humanity , but sadly we did , so telling them to not fight was my last hope at humanity. you were always there for me even more then what my mum was you worked a full time job yet you could still take me to get ice cream. thank you for always looking out for me .

thanks for holding my hand when i was scared , thanks for telling beth and i that it would be okay . even if it was far from it .

thank you for not dying when you got bitten you had always been a second mum to me and it meant the world to me . 

thanks for looking after me , adopt the kids that always need you . you and carol where what the world needed people that would do anything for the people they loved .

you once said to me that i didn't get a chance to be a kid , but you were wrong you gave me that opportunity . the morning i woke and found you had left i felt calm like it was you time to leave but i always knew you would come back . 

that's how i moved on with each day , you made me stronger. i came out on top , the  last thing my mum said to me was i was going to beat this world i didn't but i know that your boys will . i can see it when i hold them , when i look in there eyes.  time going to be hard for a while and just like you asked me can you look after my dad 

i'm not scared anymore , bye shithead.

tamara wept , it was all to much carol run over taking hunter from her as she fall from the rocking chair begging , begging for god to finally show himself for god to be there . even though she new that he wouldn't be . daryl held her in his arms picking he up taking to her to there room . and that's where she stayed re reading the letter, there she stayed for days . till she heard where negan was ....

negan was locked in a cage , in the basement . he smiled as tamara walked , his charming grin was swept from his face when he saw her expression . 

" hes dead , and he dead because of you"

" the boy didn't die because of me "

"yea he  didn't die from you arms , but he died trying to protect his people , because your greedy ass wanted more then should . you  deserve to burn down here"

she stormed out before she could get a response , she had lost so many of the group to a totally different threat and she had lost carl.

she walked towards the mound of dirt that the boy lay under laying down beside it , she spoke to it like the boy was still here " it only been five days and it so weird not to hear you voice or laugh ,  it feels like it much quieter here now . it almost lonely , my boys are growing so well and the fact that we know one of them isn't going to make it and it could be him laying next to you soon breaks my heart . 

you where always so much stronger then me, and i use to think it most be difficult growing up in this world .but i was so wrong you were growing up in this,this world was your normal . us adults had to adapt .

i wish i had of spent more time with you , i should never of left it was selfish of me . your mother always told me when i picked you up , was that i had to take care of you . you where special, from the beginning we didn't know what this world was going to end up as. 

you say you didn't beat this world , well you did  you where stronger you didnt let it change you to much you where still that caring boy that use to help kat up when she fell over, it wanted to change you and a few times i thought it had . but underneath that hard shell was still the boy who laughed at my shitty jokes . 

i keep want to see the dead again like i use to , just so i can talk to you one more time , but deep down it not the best .

i need to pick myself up and move on , but at the same time not leave, i'm not leaving ever again.

please though let me talk to you again , just one last time please " 

all that was left after she finished.speaking was the deafening silence , nothing . 

carl wasn't coming back in any form to talk to her again . carl was gone and that's how it was going to stay . 

rick heard all this and he realised that she was having a harder time coming to terms with it  then he was . carl did say he spoke to her brealify that day but had almost seemed like it was months ago .

when he lifted up his shirt , everybody hearts stopped . he was only a boy ,he was only a boy .