Uncaged

The Truth

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I was ill for the next couple of days. Alexander continued to care for me, running a cool damp cloth over my feverish skin. Feeding me when he convinced me to eat and drink and spooning broth into my mouth when I refused. Every time I couldn't hold back whimper of pain he'd pull me closer, rubbing his hands firmly against my aching muscles trying to comfort me with that mate bond touch of his.
...........................

I woke up to the feeling of Alexanders hands tangled in my hair, gently massaging my head with the tips of his fingers. With my eyes still closed, I shuffled closer in his direction and heard the low comforting rumble of his purr. I don't think I could ever get tired of that sound.

I looked up to see him starring down at me with the same intrigued alluring expression he always seemed to wear when with me. His movements never faltered, only travelled from my scalp down to face gently running his thumb along my cheek. I looked up at him in awe.

His soft gentle touch was so jarringly opposite to anything I'd ever thought possible to experience that tears gathered in my eyes. His low animalistic rumble stopped abruptly as his face morphed into one of concern. I shook my head quickly, dismissing my tearful eyes and laced my hand over his fingers that had stilled against my cheek.

He watched me with slightly parted lips as I brought the palm of his hand to my lips and kissed it gently. Closing my eyes with the effort to pour my grateful soul into the act of affection. I heard him suck in a breath in surprise but I kept my eyes closed. Squeezing them tightly and increasing the pressure. I hugged his hand against my cheek for a moment before letting go and opening my eyes

"Thank you, Alexander."

He closed his eyes abruptly shaking his head with a small growl before his hand started to move along my skin once again. I tensed at first afraid I had angered him in some way but relaxed when tingles flowed through his hand spreading heat throughout my body. I bit my lip to keep myself from making noise and had to physically stop myself from rolling my head back at the sensation of his hands running down my neck.

The green emeralds in his eyes were starting to seep black as his hand continued to work against my skin. I leaned closer to him peering into them trying to get a better understanding of their fluidity. Inches from him Alexander decided to speak, "Are you okay?" He asked in a soft whisper, almost sounding sad.

His question, so simple and common to others was so foreign and irrevocably magnificent to me that the sheer raw loss and agony of it all came violently rushing to the surface. The tears of both elation and pain which I had been able to deny in the past were now unavoidable.

I turned away from Alexander pressing the palm of my hand against my mouth hoping to stifle my sobs. Feelings of shame and self-hatred at my open display of vulnerability and weakness spread through me like a virus. A deafening howl rang in between my ears as I turned away from Alexander.

I loud growl boomed from behind me as I moved further away from him on the silky grey sheets. It didn't scare me if anything It made me feel more guilty for shunning him after everything he has done for me. The feeling of shame consumed me as I moved my head into the pillow breathing in his scent and muffling my hiccups of grief.

Too overcome to struggle against Alexander, he maneuvered me into his lap so that my legs were straddling him. His one hand was placed firmly on the back of my head holding mine in the crook of his neck where I greedily breathed him in. The other was snaking its way under my shirt to my skin where he rubbed up and down the length of my spine.

The voice in my head cried out with joy while in some deep place within my mind I felt guilty for being held by another man.

"You don't have to hide from me, Jocelyn."