A Walk

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"What does it feel like?" He asked as our hands tangled together, moving and threading in a comforting dance. 

"It feels like it's a part of me. Warm and comforting, pouring through me like water. I don't know how but I feel that without it...I'd die." I said turning over on the mattress and propping my hand under my head and looking up at him. The storm in his eyes grew dark and thunder roared from his twitching lips. I reached out to him with my free hand and patted his chest lightly in hopes of quieting him. He obliged, looking apologetic.  

Sensing this time was as good as it could be I blurted out, "I can feel you too if I want." My head was ducked low and I watched through my lashes to see his confused expression. I continued, "Last night when you told me... whatever happened doesn't change the way you see me, I wanted to make sure...It just happened and I feel what you feel. I'm sorry, it was not fair of me. Your feelings are your own and I haven't done it since I promise!"

He laid still, unreactive. His usual process I knew, but it worried me for the first time that he waited so long before choosing to speak. He did that a lot, I had come to realize. I imagine while that may be intimating to some, I found it oddly comforting, that he chooses to process and contemplate and doesn't feel the need to fill the silence with idle chatter. 

Finally, he nodded. Staring deep into my eyes before he suddenly maneuvered himself to be hoovering overtop me. He bent down and peppered my neck with feather-light kisses. His touch was impossibly tender, "Is that why you let me mark you? You were able to prove my honesty with you?" His breath tickled my collarbone as he spoke. 

"That was one of the reasons," I answered.

He looked up at that, eyebrows raised in question.

With a reluctant sigh, I continued, "I felt guilty..." I trailed off unsure of how to express myself, "Alex, I - I wanted to have control over myself for once but there you were and you were so different than the others-" I broke off with a humourless laugh, "and this deep part wanted you so badly... But it- I felt so wrong and dirty for wanting the first man I see after promising myself I wouldn't have another after I broke free. It meant I really was all those things I told myself I wasn't." I broke off cursing myself under my breath. Talking and sharing intimate things about myself felt so completely foreign and unnatural. That my body tensed and my palms had begun to perspire in protest of the act of communication.

He seemed to sense my unwillingness to continue, signalling so by his usual animalistic chuff. The air was pushed through his nostrils and blew softly against my face, he bent down and planted a kiss on my forehead before dismounting from overtop of me. We lay next to each other in silence for a while, his dark brows knit together in deep thought as I watched his eyes wander in contemplation.

After a few minutes of having gathered his thoughts he spoke, "Do you regret letting me mark you?"

I turned my head in his direction, making sure to look him directly as I shook my head no with a small smile and a mumbled no. 

"Do you still feel guilty about wanting me?" 

I hesitated, " Sometimes...but it's harder to not give in to what I feel now. I- well the wolf side is very overwhelming and you give me no reason to object to her wanting you." I answered looking up at him with a smile. His steady gaze faltered at the sight of my upturned lips, his own lips soon followed giving me a warm smile. 

"Do you regret marking me?" I asked. His smile dropped suddenly before reappearing only doubled in size.

His voice was still rough from sleep when he answered, "Impossible. I wanted to claim you from the second I saw you curled up on the river bank, my little Russian mate."

His hand reached out and ran down my neck. My eyes fluttered closed at the sensation. I remain unconvinced you could ever get used to the intensity of the mate bond. His voice drifted in my ears, "How does a walk around the territory sound to you?"

I chuckled, "Only if I eat first."

He joined in with my laughter before scooping me up and hauling me up from the bed. I squealed in surprise clutching around his neck and yelling out his name. He replied with a, "What?" faining innocence. With unnatural speed, we arrived in the kitchen. Where he placed me on the counter and turned to the stove. His sleek black rectangular screen sat next to me on the counter. I tapped on its surface gently, only for it to remain black and lifeless.  

"Alex? What is this for exactly?" He looked over his shoulder and his eyes followed my pointed finger. Anger blazed briefly over his features before burning out and resuming his usual calm facade. With a swift crack of his neck, he turned around and grabbed the device. 

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