Uncaged

Patchwork times

Hello beautiful humans! I am still alive, sorry for the long wait, but as promised I've been writing a ton. In fact, this newest chapter was going to be 18500+ words when I realized that's probably too long for one chapter and figured I'd break it up into three. SO, here's the first one and the other two will be out in the next few days after some quick edits. Ps, your comments and votes are keeping my motivation and this story alive, thank you all so much!

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I can feel him watching me through the kitchen window. I think he chose to work in that spot specifically so he could keep an eye on me with that same intense dissecting gaze of his, searching every part of me, making sure I'm comfortable.

He's anxious, today.

He thinks I'll break into a spontaneous heat and start screaming in a fit of scorching blind lust, while Dylan sits at the kitchen table. He's here filling him in on how Deimos' pack is developing, which is in the process of being reestablished.

Since I'd killed him, I was entitled to run it and while I appreciated Alex sitting me down and asking me in earnest whether I wanted to move down there for a time to run it with Dylan's assistance, I refused.

I didn't want anything more to do with his pack and I don't think I'm ready for such a big responsibility when I can barely take care of myself. And, if I'm being honest, I worry I'd recognize everyone in it. I picture hopping out of the car and them all stepping up and shaking my hand, greeting me with a coy smile as they undressed me with their eyes. I'd stand there struggling to remember whether or not I've seen them before and with all the drugs I was kept on I don't think I would recognize them, even shaking their hand. That thought scares me so much it wasn't a hard decision.

Alex had expected this and even though he felt guilty about it, he felt relief, which comforted me, to know that he wasn't trying to send me away, again. I think back to yesterday and how nervous he was with me, even with my bare legs wrapped around him, he remained unsure of himself.

It hurt.

And it wasn't until I reached in and sifted through his clumsy, mangled thoughts that understood. But his anxiousness continues into today as he and Dylan debate over the newest Alpha candidates. It's taken them all morning and into lunch. Apparently, the surrounding Clans are eager for new land but Alex isn't sure if that's entirely fair since someone in the pack might be more deserving. Dylan doesn't much care but since Collin is keen to gift it to a new clan with the intention to strengthen alliances, he's trying to remain neutral.

Right now, I'm trying not to listen to their debate because the sun feels warm on my skin I want to enjoy it. It's so different from the damp and the cold I'm used to and I wonder how I was ever able to get used to it, but I guess I got used to a lot of things.

But that's are different now, everything is different, I think as I toy with a lock of my hair. I study the new colour, it's so white and starkly different from before; Again not I'm used to.

It was a shock, to wake up in the hospital and see my hair this way and it took me a few days to decide whether or not I liked it. I couldn't figure out if it reminded me of him or not.

It took some time but in the end, I decided that it was a symbol of my victory, my triumph against evil. Of my power over myself and not his power over me. Scowling, I throw my hair over my head, why am I still letting it remind me of him, then? Never again, I vow, really this time.

Just the thought of him is making the sunshine feel uncomfortably warm on my skin, killing the nice balance of the brisk late winter air. I grimace, squinting my eyes at the blazing sun before reaching for the hem of my shirt, arching my back off the dead grass and shimmying it up past my navel and tucking under my breast.