cappuccino ↬ offgun

is something missing?

"Earlier you've said that you are not that brave. You remember, right?" I looked into Off's eyes. I nodded, slowly. An hour had passed from the most sad blue moment of my entire life. The stars were there, looking at me. Judging me. I didn't care. Dark purple was sitting next to me, on the grass. Flowers were dancing with the wind, around us.

I think that, without Off, I couldn't have done what I did today. I wasn't lying when I said that I have no courage. I've always been a coward.

"I disagree with you. What you did is- wow. You are so..." his words were floating in the air.

"Stupid? That's how a feel now."

"You're way too much, believe me" he came closer and he put one of his hand above mine.

"How do you feel, anyway?" he asked. I didn't know.

"My mind is white. Is like everything has disappeared. I feel empty" I looked at the stars and I started to feel more lonely.

"Thank you Off, really. I appreciate what you've done for me. I'll keep this in my mind and, specially, in my heart. This time, I owe you a huge favor" he laughed, maybe remembering those times, where he kept saying you owe me a cigarette. I hated him. Or, I kind of.

"You know, I said that just because I wanted a reason to see you again. I like you, Gun. Maybe I didn't say this directly. But I do, I really do. When I talk to you, I feel like... home." He blocked, and I didn't want him to continue. I hugged him, tightly.

"I'm sorry..." and I really was. Because my head was confused. avevo la testa in confusione. Actually, he even doesn't deserve me. I got rid of the hug and I leaned my forehead on his. Our eyes were closed and the only things we could hear were our breaths and the far sound of the birds singing.

"You've known me for not so long..." I said, with unsure voice. I was scared. I was scared of losing him, even though I still didn't have him. I was scared of myself. I was scared of the judging stars.

"I know you enough. It doesn't matter how long you've known a person. We've shared something special, and you can't deny this" I smiled, nodding at his words. I wished he wasn't right. But he is always right. I wanted to answer that I liked him too, that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But I stayed quiet.

He leaned his hands on my cheeks. It was like he was he was living through them. I was living through him, though.

"Sometimes life is so strange. When you want something so bad, you feel blocked" I said, looking at his relaxed face. His eyes were still closed.

"I feel like I want to kiss you, now. But something is missing. Or, this is what I feel..."

"But, what if we try? What if I help you to understand if something is really missing?" one of his arms was wrapping my waist, and our bodies were becoming one. Like our souls. We were two people, with one heart.

"Okay..." his nose started to touch mine and, slowly, our lips became one. As everything else. It was like running against the time. I didn't want that to finish. And him neither. I put my right hand on his hair and everything went white. And then yellow. Sad blue. Yellow. White.

He helped me to lay down and his body was all over mine. I could feel him everywhere. Even inside. He was inside my heart.

The grass was tickling our ankles and the wind was making everything was special. His hands were still pressed against my cheek and his lips' taste was too much.

"So, is something missing?" he said, once he detached from me. His body was still everywhere.

"No, of course it's not" I started to laugh and, looking intensely into his eyes, I kissed him. He was the one.

"I like you, too." I said, keeping kissing him.