The Light that Shines Within

Hanging with a Super Soldier

Steve's room was small compared to mine. Kinda looked like a hotel room in a way. Except for his suit and shield, there was nothing personal in the space. In one corner was a rack of records and a record player, but that was about it. It was kinda sad to see in a guy who lived so long, done so much for his country and this was all he had to show for it. But I didn't want to say anything to him about it and make him feel bad or something. 

"So, where's this tablet at, Steve?" I asked as he crossed the room and took the tablet out of a drawer with a smile. He then patted his bed with a smile. I went over and sat down against the backboard of the bed, close to the edge. 

He handed the tablet to me and I looked it over. He had chosen a nice model, and I had to respect that he got such a nice one without help at the store. That's how he shopped. Steve hated being noticed in public, and therefore never asked for help while he was out.

"Nice choice, Steve," I said, appraising it. I then began setting up the WiFi and got Steve a few of the games I thought would do. Five Nights, Fortnite, Pixel, Minecraft, Words with Friends. I would kick his ass with Words later. Hehehe...Then I set up all the games for him before handing the tablet back.

"Okay, these are some of the most popular games known today. It's fine if you lose a whole bunch at first. If you need any help, you can just go to your list, go to your friends and select No. One: me." I gave him an encouraging smile and showed him what to do. " My phone or tablet will go off and I'll usually come to the rescue. If not, it will say your request has been denied by the player." Steve nodded and taking my hand once again.

"Thanks, Cass," he said, looking right into my eyes. His voice was gentler, softer. I smiled back politely and shrugged, trying to keep my cool right now. What was with him lately?  

"It's all good, dude. What are friends for? If not to help them obliterate aliens in a virtual universe?" We laughed and thankfully he let go of my hand at the same moment. Steve laid the hand back into his lap with a sigh, looking down at his bed. When he looked back at me his eyes held an inner sadness within them and I couldn't help but wonder if this is what I'd looked like a short time ago, in my own bedroom. When all those memories came flooding back and pulling me under...

"Really, thank you. Without the rest of the team, and, especially you, I wouldn't even know how to still work a cellphone. I can walk down a street without being noticed by a million people." I began to thank him when he cut me off with a hand. Apparently there was more.

"I value your friendship. And ever since I asked you out things have been different between us," he shook his head sadly, glancing back up at me. "And I'm sorry if that's what's caused this distance between us." I shook my head quickly. 

"No, no... Steve. I'm not used to having anybody look at me, for me. Value me as a person... not just my powers or status in the world." I glanced at the wall. Anywhere but at him.  Why did feelings have to be so hard to talk about?! I tried breathing deeply and it helped. My tone became lower as well, this was embarrassing stuff to admit to here. "So, when people actually notice me, it's hard to relax in a way after being in the shadows your whole eternity." I looked at the hands in my lap as I spoke. Steve sat there patiently and listened the whole time. "'Cause... I spend my time trying not to get noticed, especially on the battlefield.  Usually, that's when you get shot at. And that's not a very good thing to happen, huh?" I fiddled with my fingers absently. 

"Another embarrassing thing is that I've never, actually... been asked out before."

Steve made a gagging noise that was I guessed surprise. "So, when I asked... you... you didn't know what to do?!" Glumly, I nodded a couple times. He seemed relieved and incredulous that I had as much experience as he did in this area of life. "Yeah... Plus, you're kinda our leader, so there is a bit of awkward there. When the guy who leads you on missions and tells you what to do in a dangerous situation asks you to catch a movie with him? I guess horror movies are a dangerous situation. Depending on who you're sitting nearby." 

He laughed and I realized I'd never heard him genuinely laugh. It was nice to hear after a sad day. Deep, but not too deep, and airy enough to sound like he was still asthmatic and small... the kid from Brooklyn. Before the serum changed him to who was today. I smiled and so did he as he scratched the back of his head. 

"So, can we try that again sometime? Maybe I won't fumble with my words, and you won't run away like a deer caught in the headlights. Maybe even tell me I did a fantastic job this time instead of just 'Great'?" I laughed at his lighthearted jab and scoffed sarcastically, playing around with him. 

"Is that even possible?" 

Steve shrugged, smiling. "Maybe.." He looked at me indifferently. Taking a deep breath it seemed before speaking. "So, uh, there's this exhibit opening ata the mooseum... whould you a? Wanna good with me?" I giggled seeing how tongue-tied he was. Steve Rogers defeated Red Skull and saved the world without any fear or nervousness. But asking a girl out? Nope. No serum to help him there. But I also found it strangely endearing and kinda sweet. 

"Sura Steve. I uh, like mooseums." I rose from my seat heading towards the door with a smile on my face. "Housa..." I thought for a second. "Fry a day. Ata seeeven? Gooda cheese?" He nodded with a grin. "Sure, Friday at seven," he chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "God, we stink at this, don't we?" I laughed, opening the door. "Yes, yes we do." 

"You want me to walk you back to your room?"

I shook my head. "I'm pretty sure I know the way Steve, but thank you for asking." He shrugged. "It was worth a try." I laughed again. Man, how often had I laughed tonight? It felt so good to have such a good laugh with someone again besides the black-haired god in my library. I smiled walking out.

"Later Steve."

"Goodnight Cass." 

I made it back to my room after grabbing some coffee and Swiss Rolls from the kitchen for me and Loki. If he was still awake that was. The sun was rising now and I was tired as fuck by this point. I went into my library and found Loki still awake, reading on the couch leisurely. When I walked past him, he smiled and put down his book gracefully on the end table. "So... how was your little date with the Soldier?" he teased me and I rolled my eyes sitting down and handing him his cup. "Uh, no. It wasn't a date. We were just hanging out in his room. There's nothing romantic between us, Loki," I said, laughing. I was still trying to figure out how I felt first before I made anything official or beyond friends with Steve. No use getting his hopes up just yet, right? I saw Loki copy my signature eyebrow raise and I smiled wider. I was rubbing off on a god. Huh... who knew?

"Oh, I believe you're beautiful, but I think your spangled friend has more feelings for you than a simple friendship. I see the way he looks at you, Cassandra." Loki was being kind but also talking to me as if I was totally oblivious to the way Steve felt about me. I just wasn't sure... How I felt about him.  

Truth be told, I liked Steve. He was fun to hang out with, could always engage in a great conversation that could go on for hours. But I wasn't 100% sure I liked him the way I knew he liked me. Loki made a noise of confirmation in his throat, glancing at me. "So you do know of his feelings then?" I nodded once, sipping my java for stalled time. 

"I see. But you have, as they say down here, 'Went out'" I shrugged. "Kinda, hanging out is the same thing I guess. And he needs practice for when he wakes up and sees I'm not the one for him. So when he does meet her, he won't stumble on his own tongue and make a fool of himself." I was trying to play this the right way. Being unsure of how I felt about all this was some tricky business. "Besides, when he does eventually wake up and realize we are better off friends, he will have all this invaluable experience, right?"

Loki shook his head at me with a small smile. 

"What? What's so funny, Asgardian Malfoy?" I asked getting moody. I was fucking tired as shit over here and I was at a tolerance point. It was damn near dawn for Thor's sake!

Loki shook his head again and looked at me. "I see now. You are simply being a fantastic friend as usual," he assessed with a wink and I rolled my eyes, getting up." Suuuuure Loki, you think that. I'm going to sleep." He chuckled and went back to his book. And I crashed hard on my bed.

Still thinking about where all this leads.