The Light that Shines Within

The Aftermath

Loki POV- 

I tried to see her.

Made every attempt to catch her.

After every court meeting, every public event where we had to be in the same room. But she was nowhere near me most of the duration of the week..the only time she was near to me, was when it came time at the week's end to declare I had really been changed. No outbursts of anger, no plots to overthrow a kingdom and conquor a planet. I had managed to maintain my behavior as a model citizen and was officially pardened, due to return to Mudguard in exile so the masses were not angered by my father's decision to parden me. He actually had smiled at me, my mother beamed proudly at us both. And Cassandra had been the perfect little actress. Smiling at me and saying how she couldn't believe just how good I was to others now. Beyond even her expectations for me. 

Boasting and bragging on my behalf.

And when she gave me a hug, it would look perfectly loving to a person on the outside, but I knew better. Her eyes were full of coldness, hurt, and robotically embracing me. My heart had never ached so bad before in my many years of life. I was going to whisper, say something to her in her ear, but she pulled away too fast. We were dismissed, leaving the chambers of the grand hall as a perfectly normal, loving couple. The doors shut behind us and Cassandra automatically began to walk away from me without a single word. I also noticed how beautiful she looked in her elegant dark blue gown, flowing about her like a true princess...my heart only ached worse.

I couldn't just stand there, could I?

I quickly summoned my smoke form and traveled over Cassandra's head  to her rooms to await her return. I was going to talk to her if this is what it took. A single candle was lit by her bedside table, a book lay open with a pen between its pages, holding it open to.a marked page. My curiosity got the best of me and I took the pen from the book. It was dated last night, her diary I realized to my embarrassed horror. I really didn't want to read what I was about to, but my own name cauht my eye and I couldn't help myself but read the entry: 

Dear journal, 

Why?! Is what I keep asking myself. Why did I become friends with Loki? Why did I ever come to Asgard, to get him out of trouble, only for him to yell at me like her actually cared for me? Ha! I see how retarded that was now. Why, days ago, did I even start to think that LOKI a fucking PRINCE, could ever care for me?! LOVE ME?! Oh, what that just a fucking great thing to do journal? Think, believe, that I was begining to have a crush on him, the god who was fascinated with my repulsive, vampire self? That's exactly what he said! "Look at HER!" He had exclaimed, "She's a vampire!" He was so very clearly repulsed by me all along...( sighs in defeat.) At least Vladimir's birthday is coming up. I'm going to see him in London then and maybe....maybe take him up on his offers...gods, super soldiers and mortals are just not understanding of me, of my kind yet I suppose...to crave blood, feel the sun rise and set. And here I was, foolishly developing feelings for a God who I believed understood me, who I believed blessedly saw beneath my mortal mask to reveal the woman underneath. Who wants nothing more than to find love an be understood. GODS, wasn't I a FOOL?!.....

My eyes scanned the page again.

Widening at her words. 

She ....was feeling the same I was all along? She really had declared she loved me that day!

I looked around to realize all her things had been packed up.and gone. The book was the only thing left inside the bedroom she used during the duration of her stay in my home realm. She still hadn't come in, thankfully. I didn't wish to be caught reading her personal diary and reading her confessions, so I did the only thing someone in my position would do. I smoked the hades out of there! And not a moment too soon. As soon as I got out the open window, she came in. With her face fallen and shaking her head. "No, thank you Roland. I'm not hungry right now." She said weakly and picking up the diary off the nightstand, looking it over with a depressed sigh. Her eyes closed painfully and drawing a ragged breath.