The Light that Shines Within

Road Trip!

We finally landed like, 16 hours later at LAX. My mood wasn't the greatest as you could tell by the chat we had, and having to ride in the cockpit with the Elsa loving, never missing, listens to frickin bongo music everywhere, Hawkeye. I was on edge, and in desperate need of a cup of coffee. Steve looked like a hurt puppy when I left the cockpit to grab our luggage, and Loki was just unusually silent..it was errie and I just ignored it. We had hotels to check into, a pot of joe to locate, and an opening ceremony to go to tonight. We had no time to play around seeing what others deals was with each other. 

This was serious business people!

"So, your here until when?" Clint asked as we were unloading luggage from the lockers on board. I set down a suitcase and looked at him.  "Until Wednesday. We check out at noon, so pick us up about two. Ok?" He shrugged and nodded. "Guess that's doable." He looked at Loki. Just chilling by the exit with arms crossed and his disguise on already, his one bag over his shoulder and looking bored out of his mind. Very Loki in its own way and I didn't pay much attention to anything else but the fact we had to MOVE! I had already called Fury in the cockpit and ordered a ride for me to use. A classy, red, Chevy Corvette was waiting for us and I smiled to myself knowing how easy it was to get stuff out of Nick with the right leverage. The guys loaded up our stuff and Steve sat with me in the front, with Loki in the back seat. Clint waved inside the jet and grinned, giving me a thumbs up at the wheels I was using. 

"Nice wheels!" 

I shrugged. "I have the same one at home actually, in the garage. Tony gave me it for my sweet 16." I called out to him and I saw him nod in appreciation of it. "Nice, very nice. Maybe the old man will get me one next Christmas huh?" I laughed and shook my head." You'll have to get your own. He specifically had this line made for me on a contract with Corvette. Sorry Hawkman.." I grinned sneakily and shrugged. "There's always a line of bows with your name on them maybe?" He laughed and pressed the button to slowly raise the back up and lock. "Uh huh, yup, you just keep teasing me Cass. Remember you still owe me that favor!" I nodded and smiled. "Yup! See you Wedensday Clint!" 

"Bye Cass, guys watch her ok?" 

The two nodded and Steve waved, Loki just sat there, reading as per Loki's usual. Whatever. I started up the engine and the purr of the motor felt like home in the desert. Ah cars. Home away from home."Tony gave you a car? How come you never use it?" Steve asked as I pulled out of the drive. "Well, its New York City. Have you seen the traffic jams caused everyday?" I asked with an eyebrow raised. "Its a zoo and plus, walking is better on the environment and my legs anyway. So it just sits in Tony's garage waiting for those days when I leave town to go see my dad or a mission." Steve nodded, then looked out the window as we passed airplanes already landed and people filing out of them. The business just got more intence as I drove us out of the landing zone and onto a desert road, heading towards L.A. 

"Cass, about what happened on the plane.."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it Steve." I just kept looking straight ahead, trying all I could to not look him in the eyes, or hell, look at him at all. What happened on that plane was traumatic as it was. Knowing just how much he cared, when I may not feel that same depth, was frightening and quite frankly, painful to know. Because I knew I was going to have to break his heart sometime by telling him I didn't feel as deeply. That what my heart was saying was not something he would ever want for me. Hell, what none of my family would want for me....Because if I really did like loki....Could I deny it? Just ignore it and let go?

I didn't think I could, if he felt the same.

And that was my next question. Did he even feel the same, or was he just a flirt and calling me a beautiful creature? How high I was in his esteem already...Was it possible?...I just shook my head in frustration and gripped the steering wheel tighter at my own folly, how could a prince like him, possibly love a girl, a monster like me? I was being stupid, love had no time in an Avenger's life. We could love as friends and family but romance? No, it was just a stupid idea, a thing we unknowingly sacrifice when we take this job on. Look at Clint, who has to keep his wife and kids a secret from us all besides Natasha and me, and Natasha, who has to keep her own daughter in hiding and unknowing she's actually living with her father this whole time, and no matter how much I detest Pepper Potts, she loves my uncle and the panic attacks she has while Tony is out on a solo mission proves just how stressful this job is on not only us Avengers, but on those we love as well. 

​​​​​​"Cassandra, are you allright?"

Loki said it quietly and I looked in the rearview mirror at the god. His green eyes were full of concern, terribly masked. And I looked back in scared sadness. What did he or anyone else see in me? "Y.yeah, I'm good Loki, thanks." He didn't look very convinced but said nothing in return to me, just went back to his book and the ride was too silent now. I just had to turn on some music to lighten the mood. The stations were pretty normal ones; country, rap ,today's and yesterday's hits. So I just took out my phone and had Steve plug it into the car so we could listen to my awsome mix vol. 4. ( Hope y'all got the reference there. ) Instantly, one of my favorite songs came on and I had to sing along.

It was "This is me" From Camp Rock. 

"Ive alwas been the kinda girl, who hid my face, so afraid to tell the world, what I got to say."...I sang loudly, not caring if the two in the car cared, or if they even knew what Camp Rock was. I loved this song and I was going to sing it if I wanted to. Even if I trashed it and didn't even try to sing it nicely, I needed to vent out this stuff someway and this was mine. Steve smiled, probably remembering that day he followed me into the Silver Spoon and heard me sing. Poor Loki however, hadn't, and was wide eyed in the backseat as I sang. I brushed it off and smiled, feeling happier as we drove along. 

" But I've had this dream, right inside of me, I'm going to let it show, its time. To let you know....to let you knoooowwww.." I smiled and banged the steering wheel lightly as the tempo picked up and the chorus began to play. "This is real, this is me, I'm exaxtly where I'm supposed to be now, gonna let the light...shine on me. Now I found, who I am, there's no way to hold it in....im finding exactly who I wanna beeeee, this is me..." The next part was kinda personal. Considering my past and all. "Do you know what its like, to be so in the dark? To dream about a life, where your the shining star? " I went on and looked at Loki in the back and saw he understood that part, very well, I guess he would get that, being in his brothers shadow all his life. I knew how that felt all too well and looked at Steve, shaking his head at me and chuckling. 

Then Shane started his part.

 So the teen in me was shipping the two for the millionth time since seeing the movie. I just let it play and would pick up when Mitchie's part came back in for the duet. "Your the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing, I need to find you...I gotta find you..." The track sang on and I sighed remembering the scene in the movie, so sweet as he sang to her and I sighed dreamily wanting someone to sing to me. "Your the missing piece I need, the song inside of me, I need to find you...I gotta find yoooouuu.." Mitchie chimed in and I sang on and finished it off with a smile as the song changed to "Rockstar " By Smash Mouth. 

"That was...quite the tune.." I shrugged. "Its from this movie on Disney Channel, called Camp Rock. Its about this girl who goes to a musical summer camp for rich people, but she got in because her mom is the cook for the camp. And when she realizes she won't fit in, or so she thinks, she lies and claims her family is rich. Then this popular bitch gets her to be in her group as a background singer and she makes friends with a DJ and-" Steve cut me off then. "Who's the guy?" I smiled. "That's Shane. He's a member of this band that's really famous, but he's in this bad streak and the other members of the group send him back to get grips on where they first started being a band. Camp Rock. So he's there and when Mitchie, the cooks daughter, sings her song on the piano when no one else is around. She's really shy ok, stage fright they call it. And these crazy fangirls chase Shane into the bushes as Mitchie is singing. He doesn't see her face but hears her voice, looking all over the camp the rest of the time for this girl with that voice..." I sighed again. "Its to me, very romantic...it might be because I love music so much and I would want a guy to have a singing voice that was perfect with mine..." I looked and noticed how silent the two men were being. "Uh, sorry guys. I'm being a total girl right now, arnt I?"

They shook thier heads.

"Well good! Cause you guys are going to be singing along to the next Disney song that comes on, whether you know it or not!" I exclaimed happily. They were going to be secretly tortured the whole way there..he he..this was my version of payback for the incident on the plane and neither guy looked brave enough to argue right now. But I just grinned evilly to myself and snickered as "Kiss the Girl"  came on and both men groaned in agony. 

Ah, revenge sure is sweet.....