Star Wars One-Shots

Chapter VIII - Secrecy

Based on @headcanoning247's post on Tumblr: https://headcanoning247.tumblr.com/post/189984142910/rey-in-a-secret-relationship-you-wish-you-didnt

You met Rey when she joined the Resistance three years ago. She was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen and you couldn't keep your eyes off of her. She was a Jedi in training and you knew she couldn't be distracted by anything and more so anyone. You didn't mean to get feelings for her but you did. You knew it was wrong since there was a war happening and you couldn't afford to be in a relationship and you knew Rey couldn't either. She was discovering who she was and you didn't want to put a spanner in the works by telling her how you felt. You wanted Rey to achieve greatness and step into who she was and who she was destined to be. 

You tried your utmost to NOT have feelings for her but every time you saw her, your feelings only intensified. It wasn't until you and Rey were sitting out under the stars one evening talking to each other that you accidentally let it slip that you had feelings for her. You hated yourself in that moment because you thought you ruined everything but those thoughts quickly dissipated when Rey lunged forward, cupped your face, and kissed you.

She told you that she had feelings for you as well and it was the best night of your life. You were so happy as was Rey and as much as you wanted to be exclusive about your newly-found relationship, you both decided against it. You were in the middle of a war with the First Order so it wasn't the time. Years later, your relationship is still hidden. You wish you didn't have to hide but you can't be open right now. It's not the right time and things are getting more and more intense as the war progresses. 

Some would think that what you're doing is ridiculous and what's the point of hiding but it's complicated. You and Rey know it's complicated so it's just easier to keep it from everyone, even your closest friends such as Finn and Poe. Not even Leia knows. However, just because you're in a secret relationship doesn't mean that you don't completely avoid each other and deprive each other of your love and attention.

There are a lot of stolen glances between you two. Whenever Leia is going over plans or whenever there is a meeting, you always look at each other. Sometimes it's casual and other times it's rather flirty. Rey has a habit of gazing at you and checking you out and you have to remind her to be more subtle. She tells you that it's hard because you're so beautiful and you try not to blush at her but you can't help it. Rey always has her way with words. When you're close to each other, there's some touching as well but only in secret like the brushing of hands or carefully toying with fingers as if they'll break when you make contact. 

You and Rey both make the effort to stand really close to one another when you can. There are times when you really need the contact even if it's just the slightest touch of your arms brushing together when you're standing. It's only a small thing but it means the world to you and to Rey and it's one of the things that keeps you going.

As time goes on, you and Rey often sneak off to see each other. You make out whenever you can such as in closets and places that people can't find you or places that have a lock on the door. Rey sneaks into your quarters when you're both supposed to be sleeping but you crave each other's company and touch so she climbs into bed with you where you snuggle and talk. Unfortunately, it doesn't last anywhere near as long as you'd like because Rey can't be seen coming out of your quarters - it's just too risky and you're not ready to tell everyone about your relationship. 

When Rey comes into your quarters, you just hold each other and talk about your day and other little things but sometimes, you end up making out, which leads to very passionate and intense sex. It's quiet (obviously). You're too afraid of people finding out and you certainly don't want them to find out that way. When you're alone, Rey can't keep her hands off you but you don't mind because you can't keep your hands off her either.

Despite the stress that comes with sneaking around, Rey is so in love with you and you're so in love with her. She is so desperately in love with you it scares her sometimes. You know because she's told you. Rey tells you that she loves you as often as she can because she doesn't want you to think that she doesn't for the simple fact that you're not exclusive. The thought has never crossed your mind but you appreciate Rey being so caring and thoughtful. Rey wants to be with you all the time but it's hard. You feel so deeply for one another that you sometimes get upset that you can't be open about your relationship. 

The feelings you both share as so passionate and intense that you know it's true love. Every moment you get alone together is so precious and is treasured until the last second. You act as if you're never going to see one another again and sometimes, you actually do think that since the missions you get sent on are dangerous and there have been times where you thought that you weren't going to make it.

It's not fun being in the middle of a raging war but you and Rey put an effort in to make sure the other is okay and sometimes, you do that by leaving secret messages for each other. Those messages could be anything such as Rey leaving a message in your quarters saying how proud of you she is and how much she loves you. A lot of the time Rey will leave inspirational messages for you, all of which keep you going. You return the favour, of course. You leave messages that tell Rey how amazing you think she is and how much you adore her. 

You know that she keeps every message you give her because they mean the world to her. They're like the treasures she found when she scavenged on Jakku but only far more precious. She sometimes gathers them and reads them when she's feeling down or is missing you and you admit you do the same. You're both strong but sometimes you're not and your bodies ache for one another and that's when rather suggestive messages come into play where either you or Rey tells the other to meet somewhere private where you can make out and other things.

You know it won't be like this forever and you can't wait until the day where you can tell everyone about your relationship but for now, you need to focus on winning the war. Every day is a step closer to you and Rey being open about your relationship. You hate hiding it but you'd be lying if you said that you didn't find sneaking around with Rey a little exciting and you know she feels the same way.