Awoken

Everly:CH5: Delusional Part 2

Kahlinda is the one to break the silence, and my focus on the horse's hooves beating rhythmically. I'd counted just under one-hundred trees before my attention was demanded elsewhere. The thudding against the ground is just as relaxing as the constant movement.

"You're not a prisoner," she starts.

Bastian is in his own world, I prefer it over him barking orders and talking down to me. I didn't ask for his help. He found me, so why is he treating me like an annoying little sister he can't stand to be around? It will probably be better once he leaves. I won't feel guilty for being a hassle and burden. I want to forget about the dreams, about how he tastes, how his skin feels against mine. Fuck, if I keep thinking about it I'm going to give myself a lady boner.

"So I can leave whenever I want?" I ask already knowing the answer. I am a prisoner, but without the shackles so I guess I shouldn't complain too much.

"I saw how distraught you were when you realised you'd attacked Polly. You don't want to hurt anybody, we want the same thing. By the time you've finished training, you'll be in control and will be able to go back home."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

I've felt useless all my life. Existing with little purpose, I was fine with that. Okay yes, that's a blatant lie, I'm not fine with it, in fact, I hate myself for being so weak and pathetic but now everything's changing. It was hard enough forcing myself out of bed before I was struck by lightning. Why Polly chooses to stay with me baffles me beyond belief.

"Because you want to be in control," Kahlinda replies simply.

My lady boner is insisting on sticking around making it impossible to focus, drawing my attention to her plump lips. I wonder if they taste as sweet as Bastian's. I'm jealous of both of them; my mind picturing them together both naked and writhing in pleasure. Fuck, stop it would you! Damn hormones.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I ask trying to distract myself.

"You're being too hard on yourself, pushing away the person closest to you when you need her the most right now. You won't succeed isolating yourself."

"But I-"

"I get it, I understand, it's human nature but it's also not going to do you any good," she interrupts.

Knowing Polly, it won't keep her at a distance for very long anyway. I've tried pushing her away before, said the most hurtful things I could think of but she knew I didn't mean any of it, that I was just terrified. Not much has changed but she refuses to give up on me. I don't deserve her patience and kindness.

"I don't want to hurt her."

"You won't," Kahlinda tries reassuring me. Bastian scoffs but doesn't look our way or elaborate. She waves him off, "Ignore him, he's a pessimistic plus his bark is far worse than his bite."

Bastian finally stops mindlessly staring out into the distance, "You know for a fact that isn't true, you have the scars to prove it," Bastian winks at Kahlinda, and she chuckles and rolls her eyes in response.

"How can I forget the worst six months of my life?" Kahlinda smirks and sticks out her tongue at Bastian.

Wait, so they aren't currently dating? I really have to stop assuming, you know what they say.

Kahlinda raises an eyebrow at me, "You didn't think we are dating did you?" She asks. I guess my confusion is evident on my scrunched up face. At least she doesn't seem offended.

"Sorry," I apologise.

"You don't need to apologise," she replies.

"I disagree," Bastian interjects sounding almost playful, a genuine small smile showing at the corner of his perfect lips, I mean stupid-looking lips. So he doesn't act like a grumpy old man all the time, nice to know.