Borahae (BTS reverse harem)✔️

Run

I don't know where I'm going. I hadn't yet thought that far ahead. I just knew that I had to put feet to concrete and get out of that restaurant, this city, this country...

No. I can't do that. I mean, I know I should. I know it's probably what's best for everyone, but I don't have my purse or more than a few thousand won on me. I don't even have a phone.

I'm not super familiar with the city, let alone this district, plus it's dark and everything looks much different than just a couple hours ago. At first, I think the darkness is an advantage; it will be harder to recognize me. But then I remember that I'm easily one of the most distinguishable faces in Seoul right now. Since the story about my existence surfaced, my pictures have been plastered all over social media and even televised news. And now...now they have video. They see me. And not in the way that Jungkook saw me when I first arrived here. They see the ugly parts of me that I had hoped to never, ever reveal.

I'm staggering through the vibrant streets of Itaewon when the gravity of my reality hits me like a two-ton boulder. My stomach roils with anguish and despair as I realize...they must have seen it by now. They must've seen what happened to me. They must be so horrified and angry and disgusted as my young, newly pubescent body is tortured and used, and then discarded. Would they be angry at me? No. Why would they be? But I know that hearing about it and seeing it are two very different things. And they'll never look at me the same. Not after this. I'll never again be the girl they fell in love with.

And I didn't even get to say goodbye.

Sorrow and rage and hopelessness dig into my guts again, and then before I can get ahold of myself, I'm stumbling into an alley and retching until my face feels like it's about to explode and my chest aches. And even after every drop of alcohol and every bite of food have evacuated my body, I still heave violently with hateful, hot tears streaming down my face.

Why?

Why me?

What have I ever done to deserve such a cruel punishment other than daring to love seven lonely boys who had given their all to a world that doesn't deserve them?

I know people will argue that I should have expected this and I knew what I was getting into from the beginning. And while part of that is true, I honestly didn't realize it'd be like this. I didn't know anything about idol culture. And I surely didn't grasp how truly influential BTS were to their country and their fans around the world. So while I may have known that people would not approve of our unconventional relationship, I never knew I'd be agreeing to be terrorized. I never realized that people would truly detest me to the point of wanting to ruin my life and even bring me bodily harm. That's not something I wouldn't have signed up for.

After my painful heaves have finally ceased, I force myself upright and head back onto the busy city sidewalk. I don't know if I'm being paranoid, but I swear...everyone is staring at me. They know. They all know. The video must be viral by now. Which means that the company has seen it. They're probably booking my flight back to the states right now. And truthfully, I'd beat them to the punch and save them the trouble if I could.

I fish around in my jacket pockets for whatever money I can scrounge up amongst old receipts and come up with 2000 won. That's not even two dollars USD. Shit. Knowing I'm overly exposed and need to get away from this area, I pop into a convenience store to buy a mask to hide my face. I usually keep a couple in my purse, but that's back at the restaurant with Jiwoo.

Dammit. 

Jiwoo.

She must be so worried. I shouldn't have done that to her and I don't know how I can ever apologize enough for getting her involved in my mess. I don't want her to feel an inkling if responsibility for my disappearance and would fully understand if she wanted to halt further contact with me. Which...sucks. But I get it. She's the sister of a very high profile man and is already under heavy scrutiny. Getting mixed up with me would only make things harder for her.