WANTED: Itachi Uchiha

Nijuuroku

"Come on Reina, you can do it."

Silence. 

"You're almost there. Come on."

Irritated silence. 

"Just one more-" 

"If you coo at me one more time, I'm going to ram these chopsticks up your arse and set them on fire." Reina growled, her lips curled back in predatory snarl. Sasuke leaned back on his hands and sighed, somewhat thankful for the dining room table that sat between them - not that he'd admit it outloud. 

"Well if you'd just hurry up and eat like a normal person, then I wouldn't have to coo at you like a baby." The younger Uchiha retorted, his words more challenge than statement. 

"That's it!" Reina spat, slamming her chopsticks down on the table and jumping to her feet, ready to leap across the table and throttle the raven haired male. 

Itachi sighed, laying down his newspaper before sweeping the Hitori leader over his shoulder in one fluid motion as he rose to his feet. "Reina-chan, please calm down." He said softly, keeping a firm grip of Reina's waist as she thrashed about and continued to spew violent threats. Sasuke smirked. "And you," Itachi paused, turning his gaze to Sasuke. "stop antagonising her." 

Sasuke instantly blanched. 

°°°

"Will you put me down yet?" Reina asked, leaning her chin on her hand. She'd given up fighting a good mile and a half ago, simply allowing the Elder Uchiha to carry her like cargo. 

"Are you going to run off and throttle Sasuke?" 

Silence. 

"I thought as much." Itachi retorted, giving Reina a small jiggle as he adjusted her on his shoulder. She really was a bag of bones. So much in fact he could feel her ribs digging into his clavicle as he walked. In all fairness, Reina had eaten all but one bite of her lunch; it was that, that had sparked the outrage in the dining room. Thank the kami his parents had been out. Their presence would have been like trying to douse the flames with gasoline. 

"Ne, Itachi?" Reina asked. 

"Hm?" 

"Where are you taking me?" 

Itachi didn't concede one step. He continued walking, his strides long and languid despite not being the tallest of men. "The hospital." The Elder Uchiha replied absentmindedly. 

"To see Riichi?" Reina asked, attempting to look over her shoulder. 

"Hai." Itachi replied with the bob of his chin. Reina made a noise of acknowledgement before opening her mouth to speak.

"You're not bringing me along as a human blood bag are you? Because I have bodily autonomy and you can't take my blood without my consent." Reina stated matter of factly; Itachi resisted the ghost of the smirk that almost haunted his lips. She certainly hadn't lost her tenacity. 

"No, no I haven't." He responded. "However if I wanted your blood, I'd simply knock you out again. Take it that way - would be a lot simpler." Reina snorted. 

"You ass."

"Bad tempered witch." 

"Touché." Reina replied, she couldn't argue with that. 

The pair continued down the street, the occasional person daring to sneak a glance at the Elder Uchiha, they probably expecting him to set his Amaterasu technique on them and burn their bones for eternity. Itachi did no such thing. For a renowned ANBU buntaichō, Itachi Uchiha was a pretty pacifistic person Reina had come to find. Even in their brief altercation, he did no more than raise his kunai in defense. He took no steps to strike her, even when her blade met the column of his throat. 

He really did have a death wish. 

Had he wished for peace when he crammed pill after pill into his mouth? Or had he wanted himself to suffer? To choke and have the pills lodge themselves in his gullet until the air in his lungs dwindled into nothingness. Reina couldn't be sure. Even now she wasn't sure. 

From the corner of her eye Reina spotted a florist, hydrangea and orange blossom wafting into the street. She tapped Itachi on the back, the only part of his body she could reach from her perch upon his shoulder. "Get Riichi some flowers." She ordered casually. 

"Why? He's an ANBU, hospital rooms are an occupational hazard."

"Because," Reina began, inhaling the sweet scents that took her back to Baa-chan's hospital room. "people shouldn't just receive flowers when they're dead."

Itachi halted in his tracks, his stomach suddenly turning lead like. Reina did not order him further, she didn't need to. His eyes landed on the bunches of tulips and carnations; they could have been a part of his funeral bouquet had Reina not brought him back. Would his parents have had lilies drawn together for his grave? Or would they simply allow his tombstone to fall into disarray and allow that to be his eternal punishment.

"I don't know Riichi like you do, but what I do know of him is that he is fiery and wild. So I'd go with the bouquet of tiger lilies - can't go wrong with lilies." Reina added, leaning her chin on her propped hand. 

"If I put you down to buy some, do you promise not to run away and kill Sasuke?" Itachi asked, looking back at the Hitori Leader, his tone deathly calm. 

"Genin's honour." Reina replied, holding her free hand up in the traditional academy oath salute; her index and middle finger extended whilst the rest of her digits curled into her palm. 

"Alright then."

°°°

"Itachi-san! You didn't have to bring flowers, you know I'd say yes to a date without them!" Riichi chimed from the hospital bed, a sly grin plastered onto his surprisingly rosy features. Reina's blood had certainly done the trick. 

Itachi sighed and refused to dignify his deploraties with a verbal response; instead he lay the flowers down on the bedside table and immediately picked up Riichi's chart. "You're not drinking enough fluids. I'll ask the nurses to hook you up to a saline drip."

"Hai Buntaichō." Riichi began, only to stop when Reina stepped over the threshold. "Eh, Captain?" 

"Hm?" Itachi replied, his eyes still scanning over the medical chart. 

"Why is there a pretty girl in my room? Is she my belated birthday gift or is she an Uchiha fangirl that's slipped under your radar?" Reina looked at Itachi at the last part, a single brow arched and a bemused smirk shadowing her lips as if to say 'Uchiha fangirl?'. 

"Ie." Reina replied before Itachi could answer. "I'm the blood bank that Itachi so kindly raided the other week. So in a sense you're my blood brother, or haemaglobin homie - whatever way you wish to word it. So, you're welcome."

Riichi grinned, the apples of his cheeks bunching upwards as he smiled. "Oh ho hooo - I like her Itachi-san. She's good. Fast, feisty. Just the kind of girl you need."

Itachi sighed, Riichi was exhausting even when he was halfway through death's door. 

"I don't know about that. I've only been in his house for a few weeks and we've already gone blade to blade because he knocked me out with his Tsukuyomi." Reina added pointedly, chewing on the inside of her lip when Itachi partially glared at her in silent protest. 

"He what?! Captain!" Riichi exclaimed, his head whipping around to gasp and openly scold Itachi. "Oh no, you come here and tell Riichi all about it? I'll even file an official grievance for you, if you like…?" Riichi added, patting the vacant part of the bed for Reina to perch upon. 

"Reina, Reina Hitori." Reina began, accepting his invitation and plonking herself on the bed, her feet dangling to and fro in the air. "And I'd appreciate that, thank you Riichi."

Itachi glared at the pair on the bed and scowled from his place in the armchair. 

He should have just knocked her out and used her as blood bank.