Hijacked

Chapter Thirty Eight

Chapter Thirty Eight

I stand in the kitchen where I made a horrible mess. I threw Katniss around like a rag doll, there's a huge gaping hole in the wall where I rammed her through it, I slammed her against the stove top, making the glass shatter everywhere and on her and Willow. As hard as I try the blood stains won't dissipate from the tile floor.

Tears well up in my eyes and I brush them away quickly. Gale thought it was best for me to give Katniss some space which is fine by me, she's probably beyond pissed with me. I see ButterCup sleeping on the couch as Gale reads a old book and I clear my throat. "Gale?" He sets the book down, running his fingers through his beard. "Yeah Peeta what's up?"

"Can you tell Katniss I love her and Willow with all my heart?" I hear Gale shift. "They already know-" "Please? For me Gale?" He shrugs. "Yeah I guess." I walk over to him and put my hands on his shoulders. "I want to let you know that if I die, that I want you to be Willows father and take care of Katniss." "Peeta what are you talking about? You've gone mad!" I go to run but he grabs me and throws me in a chair.

"Peeta Mellark, you won't be leaving your girls here in this unforgiving world! Katniss is probably the opposite of angry with you just go up there and talk to her, I'm not stopping you alright?" He was bellowing at me, loud enough probably the neighbors could hear. I nod and he gives me a small smile, patting my back. "That's it man." I stand and slowly walk upstairs, leaving the kitchen where it's still needing the finishing touches of repair. I see the door to our room and I open it slowly. I see Katniss smiling and nursing Willow, softly humming a song to her. Her black eye shines in the morning light, her swollen lip red, and many bruises dancing on her body.

She doesn't look up at me until I sit down in the chair by the bed and I smile a little. "Hey." She gives me a small smile back. "Hi." I clear my throat. "What are you doing?" She knows well that I know what she's doing but she still smiles. "I'm feeding Willow, she was hungry." I fold my hands on my lap and look at our daughter who grips apart of Katniss's sweater she is wearing. I run my fingers through my hair and my bottom lip starts trembling.

"I'm sorry." "For what honey?" She asks and I notice now how raspy her voice is from me strangling her. I shush her softly and let my tears flow down my cheeks. "Don't want to strain your voice Katniss." I bite my lip. "I'm sorry for hurting you, I hate hurting you and I just get so upset that, even though life has gotten better, the games and the Capitol still have control over me." She looks down at Willow who still continues to suckle the breast milk from her mother and I take in a shaky breath.

"Are you angry?" She shakily puts her free hand to my cheek and gently brushes my tears from my cheek with her thumb. This gesture instantly relaxes me, just feeling her gently touching me in a manner she is makes me feel safe. "Peeta, I couldn't be mad with you." I raise a eyebrow as I sniffle and she frowns softly. "That wasn't you who hurt me, that was the Capitol still trying to get to me... I know you would never intentionally hurt me Peeta." I kiss her palm softly and sigh.

"I still feel at fault." She leans in and kisses my lips slowly, not disturbing our daughter who is still nursing. Her lips caress mine in a way that make me shudder. She bites my bottom lip gently and sighs softly and then Willow whimpers. We both break away and look down at Willow who has milk dribbling down her chin and Katniss wipes it away gently with her finger smiling. "Was that good?" Willow giggles and Katniss and I laugh. I softly kiss the top of her head and brush Willows soft chubby cheek with my thumb and smile.

"I hope you'll never remember me doing that to you or mommy." Katniss puts her lips to my ear. "She won't." The weeks past and the memory of the attack slips Katniss's mind, her bruises now yellow and faded her voice still raspy but her neck does not hurt, her body doesn't ache. And yet I silently punish myself, right under Katniss's nose. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I don't bake, I try to make my life unenjoyable and painful because of what I did to Katniss and Willow. I just lie and tell Katniss I'm not feeling well when I don't eat or do the normal things that she use to. One day as Katniss has her head resting on my lap as she sleeps and my shaky hands braid her hair.

Gale walks in and he looks me up and down. "Let's go take a walk Peeta." I nod slightly and move Katniss's head from my lap so it lays gently on a pillow while Willow sleeps soundly in her play pin by the hologram softly playing music. Gale and I walk down the still ash covered streets, his boots making loud thumps against the concert while mine are almost silent because of the weight I've lost. "Peeta, you need to start eating and going back to the bakery... Rye needs the help."

"I won't allow myself." I say softly and Gale clears his throat. "Do you think killing yourself or making yourself suffer will help Katniss or Willow?" I shake my head softly. "I can't hurt them again." "That doesn't mean you go and just try to kill yourself like this! I'm not letting you do this to yourself man, you're better than this!" He says putting his hand on my shoulder. "You deserved Katniss not me, I took her from you." Gale shakes his head. "No, no you need her Peeta I mean look at you right now." I scoff.

"Yeah well you were a drunk until Katniss let you in." He bites his lip. "Yeah I did miss her Peeta, I won't lie but I wouldn't hurt you like that I swear." "Have you kissed her sense we've gotten back together?" I ask, making hands in fists now. "Peeta... Don't do this..." "Tell me now!" He pauses and sighs. "It was once in her fathers cement house by the lake, after I got back from healing from my burn wounds in the Capitol." Then before I know what I'm doing I'm running to the woods, frantically trying to get away from Gale.

When I finally don't hear his footsteps or voice anymore i grab a rope lying on the ground and weakly climb up a tree and start singing the song that pretty much is the song to Katniss and my love story.

"Are you, are you, coming to the tree? Where they strung up a man, they say who murdered three-"

"Peeta don't do it." I look down and see a winded Katniss and Gale. With tears in my eyes as the noose chaffs my neck I look down at Katniss and say softly. "Will you come to the tree with me?"

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