Hijacked

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty

PEETA'S POV

Katniss holds onto my bicep as she leads me up the marble steps to our house. "We're almost home Peeta." Gale has my other arm because I'm still weak from my attempt at suicide. I can barely talk and they still have the neck brace on me and I'm also on suicide watch.

Katniss opens the door quickly and helps me in. "What the hell is this?" Haymitch yells and I see him looking at me with Willow in his arms as Emily comes behind him, smoothing her apron from cooking. "It was nothing Haymitch just a attack." Katniss says as she lays me down on the couch.

"Why did he have this attack sweetheart?" Haymitch asks and Katniss quickly brushes a tear from her eye. "He didn't want to hurt me anymore or the baby and he tried to kill himself." "Please just kill me!" I yell and then Katniss puts a pill in my mouth and I black out. When I come to it's the middle of the night and I'm in our bed and I see Katniss in the corner of our room rocking back and fourth with her knees to her chest as she let's out ragged gasps with her grey eyes glassed over and her dark curls over her hair.

"Start with what you know to be true." She gasps to herself and then it begins. "My name is Katniss Everdeen, I am almost twenty two years old, I'm a mother, I'm a wife, I'm the MockingJay. Peeta is my husband, he wants to die, he hates me, he hates my daughter, I made him not want to live anymore." Tears start rolling down her cheeks. "Prim is dead, Finnick is dead, everyone I've loved is mostly dead... Because of me."

She bursts into sobs and I get out from the covers and shakily crawl to her as her sobbing gets worse. I prop myself up against the wall, feeling extremely weak and light headed but I do everything in my power to make her feel safe. I move her into my lap and she rests her head on my chest as I try to calm her hysteria.

"Katniss." I croak groggily as her sobs are just pitiful. "I'm not ever going to do that again Katniss, please listen to me." She doesn't and I kiss the top of her head. "Do you want to play a game of real or not real?" She nods shakily and I clear my throat. "Real or not real, you tried to kill yourself?" She whispers and I nod shakily. "Real." "Real or not real it was because of me?"

"Not real, it was because I didn't want to hurt you or Willow again... Which was dumb." "Real or not real, you still love me?" "Real, I'd never stop loving you." She sniffles. "Real or not real I'm a murderer?" "Not real defiantly not real." She rests her forehead against mine whimpering and sighs.

"Will you stay with me real or not real?" I put my hands on her hips and nod with a smile. "Real." She kisses my lips and I close my eyes, bringing her closer to me and for moments she doesn't break away and then when she does she smiles. "I love you Peeta Mellark."

As flashbacks course through my thoughts I grip Katniss who's my lifeline and sadly I think I'm hers. Even though we are broken, we seem to connect into a good system.

____________-------__________

One Year Later

I grip the wood counter in our bedroom to the point of my palms bleeding. I had to go into our room and ride out this attack so I wouldn't hurt Katniss or Willow.

I throw all of the things on the counter off of it and put my head in my hands with my face covered in sweat. This is so difficult, wanting to die but can't... Wanting to give up but keep breathing... I just hate life now an it seems like I can never enjoy it. Then the door opens a crack and I see the long dark curls and hear the waddle of my toddling daughter Willow. I feel her chubby arms wrap around my leg and rests her chubby cheek against my knee.

"Dada." She mumbles and spews. I look down shaking and see her calming blue eyes and she gives me a big grin, showing off her one tooth. I give her a side smile, my attack subsiding and I scoop her up and wrap my arms around her tightly and nestle my face into her should as she giggles. "Dada okay?" I nod. "Yeah dada okay."

Katniss watches from the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest and I give her a small smile as Willow pulls at my blond locks. Willow turns, smiling at her mother and leaves a slobbery kiss on my cheekbone. "Dada okay now mama!" She squeals and Katniss nods smiling. "That's good." She kisses her nose and chuckles.

I notice Katniss still in her leather jacket and boots, just getting back from hunting by the looks of it and I look away, embarrassed at the mess I've made of our room. Katniss gently takes Willow away from me and sets her on the ground where she grabs at her dress and toddles into her room where Gale most likely is, waiting to help her with a puzzle. Katniss shuts the door and looks into my eyes.

"Peeta..." "Katniss I'm fine, I'm fine it was just a little flashback." She points to our bed, stopping me from picking up my mess. "Sit." I do slowly and watch my wife pick up the things from the floor. Her leather jacket more worn than ever, her body aching more and more everyday, leaving her almost crippled at the age of twenty three. She tries to hide it, but she doesn't hide it well.

"Katniss stop, you're hurting yourself." I whisper and she stops. She straightens herself to a standing position and crosses her arms over her chest. "Peeta, your attacks are getting worse." I cover my face with my hands. "I know." I hear her tears choking her. "And I don't know what to do, because Peeta all I know is that I love you and I'll never be able to let you go back to where all of this started."

"Then don't." I whisper and she drops to her knees, tears rolling down her cheeks and lays her head in my lap, looking utterly defeated. "I don't have a choice... Haymitch called because he saw the bruises on me from your last attack, Dr. Areulius wants you back for therapy, Peeta I'm so sorry." Flashbacks rip through my brain and my anger boils as red as that mutts blood.

I grab her and throw her into the wall where she cowards in fear, covering her face with her hands. Then before I can touch her she grabs my wrists, stopping the blows that were about to come down on her and she glares into my eyes, with those evil grey mutt eyes. "You can break my soul, take my life away, beat me, kill me, but for the love of god-" She chokes on her sobs and looks me dead in the eye once again.

"Don't touch him." I have no clue who this mutt is talking to but the intense anger in her eyes shows that she's very passionate over whomever these things are trying to hurt.

Then as she stands, opening the door to two Capitol Guards in white I notice she that this person she was talking about was me.

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