Hijacked

Chapter Eighty One

Chapter Eighty One

KATNISS'S POV

Its been a few weeks sense the sexual assault. I've kept Willow home from school, I don't want her getting bullied when she already feels like dirt. She just lays in bed, staring off into space blankly, woken up by nightmares at night with no relief in waking. I know that feeling to well, and I prayed every night for my children to never feel that.

I woke up to her screams in the middle of the night, Peeta is still at the bakery making pastries for tomorrow. I rush into her room and don't see her in her bed. "Willow?" I hear movement in the bathroom and I slowly walk in to see her in her shower scrubbing furiously at her body, to the point of where I see her skin bleeding. "Willow, stop." I say trying to open the door. "Don't touch me! I need to get the feeling of him off me!" She sobs and keeps scrubbing.

I open the door and she yelps as I get under the hot rain, getting one of Peeta's large shirts wet. I grab the sponge from her, throwing it out of the shower and turning off the water as she screams at me. "Let go of me! What's wrong with you! You're killing me! You're killing me!" Tears are starting to pool in my eyes. "Willow!" I yell furiously, she instantly goes silent. I've never yelled at any of my children and I see her come out of her attack. She sees me dripping wet, her blue eyes filled with pain and fear.

"Mommy?" "I want to talk to you... Get dressed first." I leave her to get dressed and I get into a different shirt of Peeta's with different shorts of mine. I walk into her room with my hair still damp. She is sitting on her bed, her hands in her face. I move them slowly from her face, taking them in my hands. "Willow, I think you have PTSD." "What's that?"

"Do you know how I have attacks sometimes at night?" She nods. "I have PTSD from the war and the games." I warm her hands with mine. "Honey, what do you see that makes you freak out?" "I see him, all of him, his dumb grin, I feel the pain, I feel his hands all over me-" The words she tells me make me want to heave. "He never leaves my head, I should've never gone to that party." "You can't go back now Willow... And you know that I wish I could go back with some things." "Like what?" My throat tightens.

"If I never left your father in my second games... He wouldn't be the way he is, how sometimes he grips a chair, or has violent outbursts, your father was a very different man when I fell in love with him." I look up at her and smile a little. "Doesn't mean I love him any less." "Do you regret anything else?" I nod. "I regret a lot of things honey, a lot of people died because of me and I can't give them back to their families, I see a lot of dead people at night, on the bad nights... Your father and I don't sleep, we just hold each other and pray morning comes quickly. If I could go back to when I was just a year older than you, I would've ran away into the woods with your Aunt Prim, your grandmother, your uncle Gale and his family, and your father... We could've lived a life without loosing most of the people we love... But I can't go back now."

Willow nods. "Mom?" I nod. "What if I'm pregnant?" The words chill me to the bone. I clear my throat. "I-I dunno, what would you want to do Willow?" Tears roll down her cheeks and I brush them away. "Talk to me baby." "I know it wouldn't be the babies fault, but I wouldn't want it living a life where we put it in the orphanage." She looks up. "I would want to get rid of it." That's something I would've said at her age, if that happened to me. I nod. "It's not my choice and if that's what you want if you are then I'll support you... And so will your father." I hug her close to me, kissing the top of her head. "You're so beautiful, and so loving." "I'm not." She whispers and I shush her. "You are, don't sell yourself short Willow." I look at a picture of me and her when she was in first grade when I came in for career day, talking to the kids about how I am a hunter.