A Broken Heart

Chapter 12

"So Mel, how have you been feeling this past week?" Dr Williams ask as I sit up on the gurney, he push my sleeve up and put the cuff around my arm.

"It's been pretty good, had a lot of studying to do, but other than that good." I tell him as I watch him check my pulse.

"Felt some stress?" He ask and take the cuff of and write down my number on his chart.

"I guess a little, you know it's collage. But not too bad." I confess honestly. He nods down at his charts before taking his stethoscope and listens to my lungs and heart.

"I get it. You have to be careful though." He say after he's done with those tests.

"I know." I say and pull my sweater on.

"I think I would like you to try something for me." He say and walk over to his desk to get something.

"Okay?" I'm always willing to try whatever the doctors ask me to do, what reason do I have not to? Everything they suggest could help, it could make things easier.

"I'd want you to try meditation." He says and I feel my eyebrows lift up my forehead.

"Meditation? As in sitting on my ass and trying to find nirvana?" I ask incredulous.

"Yes, but not sure that what they do." He chuckles. "Meditation is a practice that can help you learn how to control you body, slow your breathing and you heartbeat. You might even be able to stop an episodes before if gets too bad." He tell me and extends a folder towards me. That does sound good.

"This place is really good and have classes for all kinds of experience. You could try their beginner class." He suggests. I look down at the purple and green folder with a woman sitting in a lotus position with her hands pressed together in front of her chest.

"Whatever you want, doc." I say but feel a bit hesitant. Meditation is something that feels so hokey in some way. But, I will try anything.

"Good. Now lets get the next couple of test done." He say and we move on.

When I get home I look up the place on my computer and read through all the information. It seems like a legit studio, so I book a place at their beginners class on Friday. I'm a bit nervous, but hopefully it will be fine. It can't be that horrible, right.

I called my dad on the way from the doctor and he said that he would pay for the class, which I'm grateful for since I don't have an extra job and no income. I did have one back home, but we all decided that I should focus on school and the doctor, making sure I don't over do it so the tests get crazy because of that.

In some ways it feels good, because school is enough to take my energy at the moment. It's a lot to take in, specially being a new school. And I don't have the same energy as I did before, those two episodes I had this spring took a lot of me. So taking it a bit easy it better.

As I walk out of the yoga studio on Friday I wonder what the hell I just experienced. I got to the studio after my last class, the front window was decorated with colorful fabrics and candles and inside smelled like incenses. I stood awkwardly in my yoga pants and a shirt, waiting for the class to start. A short woman with short blond curls opened the studio room for us and asked us to take a pillow to sit on. I chose a seat in the back and watch the others to see if I was the only one being so out of my element or not.

The teacher started introducing the class and how it all works. She used her hands a lot when she talked and almost sung the words with a low soft voice. Then she showed us how to sit and asked us to close our eyes. She then added music to the background and guided us through breathing.