Remus continued scanning the tables. Looking at people was interesting. It wasn't as if he was staring at anyone, his eyes only lingered on each person for a second. Yet, each unfamilar face had a story to Remus. Everyone seemed clustered in little groups. Each house seemed to have it's own little cliques inside, each one pretty much keeping to itself. Very few of the groups were co-ed.
Remus noticed a quick kiss as his eyes wandered over the Hufflepuff table. He stared a second longer to find that the girl's group of friends were all giggling like mad, and the boy's friends seemed quite amused too. From the redness of the couple's faces, it had probably been a dare. However, Remus noticed that their hands were linked. The only part of it that had been a dare was the kissing in public. The pair was definately romantically engaged.
As Remus looked over to the Ravenclaws, he saw several books on the table with the food. It was almost funny, how everyone at that table was sitting stiffly at attention, while seemingly talking about the books on the table. He couldn't actually hear anything they were saying, everyone was talking far too loud for that.
Looking at his own table, he saw that all of the other Gryffindors were happily talking. He caught several words about pranks, probably from James and... Sirius. A year ago, he was sitting with them, giggling right a long with tho two. A year ago, things had been very different. A year ago, Sirius Black had been Remus' friend. Now that was far from the case. Remus' conscience told him to walk over and apologize to his former friend, but the rest of him firmly disagreed. Sirius had done the unforgivable. Remus wasn't the one who had to apologize.
Remus took a deep breath and picked up a piece of lettuce, letting it crunch in his mouth. He quickly resumed eating, though he wasn't nearly as hungry as he had been before. That was what happened. As soon as Remus started thinking, food became utterly unnapealing. He had lost about five pounds over the summer, and he hadn't exactly been fleshy earlier. Remus didn't exaclty eat very calorie packed foods. Both of his parents had told him that eating meat would probably be very good for him, but Remus had refused. He would never betray his five year old self. It wasn't as if he had exactly created a good life for the brave little boy.
That little boy would be so thrilled to be here. That little boy would never stay angry at his friends for something so trivial. That little boy would be so happy to have friends that he'd never let them go. Remus Lupin was a very different person than he had been eleven years ago. He tried to uphold the promises of the kid who had used to be, but with every day, it got harder and harder. Remus desperately wanted to redo his entire life from the day before the tragedy had happened. He wanted to try again. Yet, he knew that he would never be able to.
As Remus looked back up, his gaze wandered back over the tables. It rested on the teachers for a second, but quickly moved on. They wern't doing anything very interesting. The next table to which Remus looked was the Slytherins. They were never very interesting to look at. Most of them were either silent or in tight groups talking quietly.
As Remus' eyes drifted along the table, they met the eyes of someone else. It appeared that he wasn't the only one who was looking at others. He cocked his head slowly, looking at the person who was looking at him. To his surprise, it was a girl his age, and she was smiling at him. Why? Was Remus' first question. Why was anyone smiling at him?
Looking closer, Remus found that the girl was very, very pretty. He felt his breath catch in his throat a little, and felt his face grow quite hot. Remus took a deep breath and looked down. There was no need to get so weirded out by the fact that someone was looking at him, even if it was a Slytherin girl. A very pretty Slytherin girl at that. Looking back up, Remus found her again quickly, letting himself stare for a second.
It was then that it hit him. There was something very odd going on. He felt the way he thought he was supposed to when he found her. The girl who he was supposed to be with. She was sitting at the Slytherin table, smiling at him. Remus was sure that this was the girl he had been looking for. The girl who he needed to find. The girl who he mortally needed to make fall in love with him. He felt the chains of destiny pulling on him. This was definately it. The moment that he had been dreading.
In a different life, Remus would have walked up and said hello. In an alternate universe, he would have talked to her. He would have asked her what her name was. He would have done everything that James and Sirius did when they saw a pretty girl. Yet, it wasn't an alternate universe. And Remus was very, very different than James and Sirius. In this life, he didn't even begin to consider talking to her. He simply gave a shy smile back and turned back to his plate, blushing furiously. His heart was beating about a million miles an hour. Quickly, he picked up his fork and began eating everything on his plate. In another world, Remus might have had the courage to talk to her. But, as it was, he was far too shy. So... this is what trying to "get" a girl was like.
((OOC: It looks as if someone has never heard of a crush before, lol))
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Author's Note: the OOC part above was my friend's comment on the topic. XD
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Blind Game Again
FanfictionRemus is a werewolf. Remus imprinted on Anthea. Remus has to make Anthea fall for him before the end of the school year, before he goes mad. Remus has tough luck.
