What We Lost | Fillie

Chapter Eleven: July 4th P.M.

"Pretty." Millie had commented while eyeing the mystery girl on Finn's phone.

"Pretty?" the confused actress thinks to herself as she drives home. She groans out loud in the car letting the sound come up from her chest and turn into more of a primal yell as it drones on.

Her morning had gone so smooth up until that stupid picture entered her awareness.

She had noticed that Finn was distracted during the first half of the table-read, and at the time she thought it was because of her. But now she assumes that it must have been that girl making Finn all flustered and absent-minded. How conceited of her to have thought that she might have been the one making him distracted. How stupid of her.

She clenches her jaw as she glares at the road ahead of her with anger bubbling up in her chest until it hits her throat and is evicted from her mouth, "Why do you care?!" She yells at herself, "You don't even like him!" She continues to berate herself while hitting the steering wheel for emphasis, "Finn can screw whoever he damn well pleases! You don't even want him, Millie! Remember what he did to you?! You don't need that back in your life! AGH!"

She slumps back in her seat and drops her hand hard on the steering wheel, squeezing it like a stress ball until she comes to a stop light. She knows this line of thinking is a downward spiral so she breathes in deep to try and level out her head. As the light turns green she breathes out, steps on the gas and blares her music so loud that no thought can possibly escape the inner workings of her mind. She can't even hear herself think and it's the most peaceful feeling.

No one is home when Millie arrives. She had expected this though. It's a busy day for everyone in her family and she's actually quite thankful to have the house to herself as she eats her lunch and gathers her things for her dreaded first training session.

She takes some time to sit in the complete silence of her empty house in an attempt to bring a sense of calm over herself. She inhales and dabs on an essential oil blend that is labeled peaceful serenity, which Millie thinks is a tad redundant but the smell works like magic to calm her muscles and her mind, so she continues to invest in it.

Her drive to the gym where the training is being held is significantly more peaceful than her drive home was. She blasts Adele and sings along which always produces therapeutic effects. But when she pulls into the parking lot, she sees Finn entering the building while looking at his phone.

Is he looking at that girl again?

Does he like her?

Does he love her?

Oh Lord, what if he loves her?

Wait, why do I care?

She shakes the uncomfortable questions away and steels herself for the training session. She knows she's going to have to be pretty physically close to Finn and she isn't looking forward to that and these stupid questions aren't helping.

Walking into the martial arts room of the gym, she places her bag next to what she assumes is Finn's backpack. She sees him in the center of the large space with the instructor and Luc, all three of them talking. Millie draws in a deep breath then forces a smile as she approaches them.

"Am I late?" she jokes, knowing she isn't but needing an ice-breaker.

"Oh no-no," The instructor, assures her, "We were just introducing ourselves."