What We Lost | Fillie

Chapter Nineteen: It's Gonna be Okay

To say that Millie is exhausted after her reckoning with Finn would be a serious underrepresentation of what her body is currently feeling. Her entire core and sides ache from the forceful sobs that she didn't know she was capable of. Her head is throbbing like a vice is being cranked tighter and tighter on her temples and her eyes burn like they're on actual fire. All of her muscles feel like they have withered into nothing and even lifting her head seems like an insurmountable task. Thank goodness it is currently resting comfortably on Finn's gently rising and falling chest.

While Millie's physical body is exhausted, her mind feels completely rejuvenated. The mental weightlessness she feels after forgiving Finn, and truly meaning it, is the most liberating feeling she's ever experienced.

The calm that envelopes her soul has made her world finally quiet and at peace.

Two years of tumult can really start to weigh on a person.

It is with this newfound peace that Millie allows sleep to overtake her so quickly, although being held by Finn helps too. His body radiates warmth and love that she can feel on every inch of her skin and his arms wrapped around her make her feel safe and secure. Her ear pressed up against Finn's chest allows her to once more fall asleep to his melodic heartbeat. The perfect lullaby, gently thump-thumping  her into a dream that is more of a memory, really. At least it is at first.

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The filming day is done for the actors that play Eleven and Max on this unusually humid and windless day in central Georgia. The two friends are able to leave the set before noon, after filming only a couple re-shoots, so they decide to hit up their favorite coffee shop that they rarely actually get coffee at.

Starbucks.

The two young actresses are still at least seven people back from the front of the line that is becoming increasingly claustrophobic as Millie notices people starting to stare and point. This always happens when she ventures out in public, but it feels more uncomfortable today for some reason. At least nobody is approaching her, asking for autographs and photos, which is also a painfully common occurrence in her life.

"I wish this line would move faster." Millie says quietly to her friend in front of her.

Sadie turns around, "I just wish it wasn't so hot. Every time that door opens, it's like the winds of hell thrust in here."

She gives a wide-eyed nod then a pained expression crosses her face.

Sadie leans in, "You okay?"

She takes in a quick breath then exhales slowly, "Yeah, it's just the heat. . . And the coffee smell isn't helping."

Sadie scrunches her nose in agreement, "It smells like french roast. I don't understand why people like that stuff, it smells and tastes like dirt marinated in old cigarettes."

Millie screws up her face, "Oh gross, that sounds like torture."

"Why it exists in civilized society is beyond me." Sadie laughs, drawing a few strained chuckles from Millie as well.

They take a step forward, one transaction closer to their turn. Millie observes the front of the line and notices that both of the registers have people ordering from lists on their phones. Lovely, she thinks, willing down the stomach acid rising up her esophagus. Damn that coffee.