It's just a crush (student/teacher)

Chapter 16*

I cried the whole night and I look like a zombie when I walk into school. I didn't even apply any make up, my hair is a mess. All in one I look horrible, but I really don't care. There is no reason to dress up. I just feel empty.

Julia runs to me with a worried face: "Lynn, what's wrong? "

"Nothing. No need to worry. I just don't feel good."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I am." I fake a smile, hoping she would believe me.

She nods and we head for our lessons. The day takes so long and I keep checking the time, but it doesn't seem to fly by. I have English next and I really don't want to see Christian. I wish I'd be in my bed. That's the only place I want to be right now. But who blames me?

Anyway when I enter his classroom he's just sitting in his chair, not looking up. I'm still so angry and sad at the same time. I would love to slap him so hard in his beautiful face, but we are at school and I obviously would never hit him. But still, I feel so much at the same time I can't even control myself. I can't control my thoughts. 

I sit down and talk to some random people, but don't really listen to what they are saying. All I care about is him. What he does, his facial expression. I'm watching him, but I try not to be too obvious.

While teaching our class he keeps ignoring me. I don't listen to what he says either, I just watch him. When his eyes meet mine I keep staring at him, but he quickly looks away. 

On Saturday I visit Mia so I can tell her everything. I'm so glad to see her.  After ordering some pizza and watching a movie I start telling her the whole story. I cried a lot, but then she finally says: "He's not worth it. Stop crying, we're gonna party tonight. " I smile at her slightly. Even though I'm not in the mood to party, I would love to get my mind off of him and I guess it's better to finally get out of bed and get distracted and spend my time with my best friend. So eventually we dress up and leave her house shortly after.

We are at a club and buy alcohol with our fake IDs. So after some drinks we're dancing like crazy and I forget about all the pain. That's what I needed. I can't believe that it actually works and I feel better, at least right in that moment. So thankful that I have a friend that actually knows me better than I actually know myself.

When I head to the bar, to order another drink for us, I see someone familiar. Oh no.

I turn on my heal to search for Mia in the crowd. I find her dancing with some stranger. I have to admit he's handsome, but the least of my worries are interrupting Mia and her handsome hook up as selfish as it might sound.

"Mia, I need you." I yell so she can hear me over the loud music.

"Can it wait?" She asks. I guessed that was a bit too much alcohol for her. If she was sober she wouldn't say something like that.. Because I wouldn't come in between her and some boy if it wasn't an emergency. And it definitely is.

"No, its very important. "

She groans and after a kiss on the cheek for the stranger, she follows me to the bar. We come to a hold when we are close enough so she could see him, but far enough so we're not so evident to him.

"What is so important?" She asks.

"He's here. Over there." I point at him.

"Shit. What is he doing here?"

"I don't know, but he looks sad." I say.

"Lynn, don't go that way."

I don't response, I'm just looking look at Christian. 

"You need a drink." She says.

"We can't buy one now."

"Why?"

"First of all, he's sitting at the bar and second he knows our real age and could tell the manager. "

"I don't care." She goes to the bar confidently, while I follow her unsure of what will happen next.

"Two shots please." She orders.

Christian turns around and faces us. When his eyes meet mine, we stay like that till Mia hands me my drink. We drink it and I can't explain the expression on his face. He still looks sad, but confused and to my surprise as if he is happy about meeting me.

"What are you doing here?" He says suddenly. 

"Having fun with my friend.  You?" I say. It comes out of my mouth without even thinking about it.

"Me too."

"You don't seem like having fun." Mia says. 

"How can I?" He asks.

"I don't know." Mia answers. I'm glad that she talks. I guess I won't be able to say a real sentence.

"Two more shots please. " I hear Mia ordering.

"Make four of it." I say, without really realizing what I just said.

"You shouldn't be here, drinking so much." Christian says to me.

I'm finally able to speak after pounding another shot.

"You can't tell me what to do. "

"I could call your parents. "

"You wouldn't ." Why am I suddenly so brave ?

Before he can answer a drunk man comes to Christian and says:

"Come dancing, Christian."

"No. I think we should go home." he says.

"No it's soooo much fun here. Who are these pretty ladies here?"

"Non of your business. Follow me." He looks at me and says "I need to go" and leaves with the man, who still tries to convince Christian to stay here a little longer. 

Well, that was awkward.