Badboy shadow

•32•

The days passed and with every day that passed, the pain grew.
It was like a large tumor that won't stop growing.

Lee left and with her a part that belongs to me.

I didn't know when it was the last time I actually ate or even drank something.
I couldn't stand the feeling of constantly trying to fill the whole with something especially not food.

I spent the last days in my dorm. Sitting on the floor staring at the blank wall.

The boys tried reaching out for me several times but all I wanted was to be alone.
I hate to be pitied on.

A knock at my door interrupted my thoughts.

"Tae...please open the door..."

"You will die if you keep on living like that."

It was Jungkook and Jimin.

I scoffed.

"And even if I die... so be it!"
I hissed under my shaking breath.

"If you wont open the door today, we have to talk to the principal..."

I scoffed again.
"Trying to threaten me, will not get you guys anywhere."

"We are not threatening you... we are just worried."
Jungkook sighed.

I just kept on staring at the wall ignoring all the banging against my door.

I knew that I would die if I'd kept on living like that.
I knew that I might starve to death.
But I didn't care.

The emptiness in me slowly drove me crazy.

Suddenly the door to my dorm opened and the janitor followed by Jimin and Jungkook entered my room.

My eyes still focused on the wall.

The janitor kneeled down beside me and gently shook me.

"Come on buddy... let's go.."

I didn't move an inch.
My eyes still pinned on the wall.

Now Jimin gave it a try.
"We are here to help you, and even if you don't want to, but we have to get you out of here."

I kept my mouth shut.
What was I even supposed to say?
It bothered me that they tried to "help" me even tho they knew that Lee was the only person that could ever fix me.

Jungkook tried to help me up by pulling me by my arm.

I pushed myself out of his grip and imidiatly stood up.

"STOP IT OKAY?! YOU CAN'T HELP ME AND YOU KNOW THAT! SO BACK OFF AND MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS!!!"

I yelled and ran off.

I couldn't spend a single minute in this building which was haunted by sweet memories.
Sweet memories which threw knifes against my chest over and over again.

I was a bastard for kissing Jacky.
I was a bastard for believing and giving in to her.
I should knew that it would bring me here.

All the stress and responsibilities weighed on me.

The tour, my manager, my fans, the boys and my girl.

I knew that she was somewhere still my girl and that I wouldn't give up on her just like that. But she was far away and I didn't knew how to contact her. I didn't even knew where she was and that creeped me out the most.

Something constantly kept telling me that something happened.

Lee wouldn't leave just like that... would she?

Lee wouldn't hate me forever...

Lee wouldn't leave because of this incident...

Lee wouldn't ...

What am I saying?!
I was a bastard why shouldn't she hate me after what I did to her.

I will never forget the disappointed sad look on her face.
It toured me into pieces and it still does when I remembered the moment she entered the janitors room yelling at me under tears.

I was a fucking bastard and I didn't know if I could ever forgive myself for what I did.

I wish I could hold her in my arms, planting thousands of kisses on her forehead and saying that I'm sorry over and over again and that I loved her.

But that was just imagination.

I wish I could inhale her vanilla scented hair and telling her that I truly love her for one last time....

Sorry for uploading this late.
I decided to take a break to overthink how I would create the next chapters... But I am back!!!

^0^ yuuuuu thanks to all the readers!