A Series Of Incidents (Katsuki Bakugou x reader)

[SIXTEEN]: a TodoDeku Musical Number

A/n: i felt like it lmao, TodoDeku is pure af

I had fun writing this one enjoy :)

"Well?" Jiro asks me, as we both inspect Todoroki. The guy looks slightly freaked out by our analyzing stares, but we are way too busy thinking. 

"I don't know," I mutter.

"Even I can't tell," Bakugo jumps into the conversation.

"What are you doing?" Todoroki finally questions.

"THERE, RIGHT THERE!" I shout, throwing a finger in his direction. "Look at that tanned, well-tinted skin, look at the killer shape he's in, look at that slightly stubbly chin, oh please he's gay, totally gay!"

"I'm not about to celebrate," Iida jumps in, "every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate, this guy's not gay, I say, not gay."

"That is the elephant in the room," the rest of us chime in instantly, "well is it relevant to assume, that a man who wears perfume is automatically, radically fay?"

"But look at his croiffed and crispy locks." Kirishima objects, referring to Todoroki's perfectly parted heterochromatic hair.

"Look at his silk translucent socks!" I add excitedly.

"There's the eternal paradox," Bakugo exclaims, "look what're we seeing!"

"What are we seeing?!" I ask loudly.

"Is he gay…" Bakugo starts.

"OF COURSE HE'S GAY!" I shout enthusiastically.

Bakugo shoots me a glare at my interruption and snaps at me, "OR EUROPEAN?!"

There's a pause, as we all let out an oblivious 'ooohh' at Bakugo's smart observation.

"Gay or european?" we question curiously, "It's hard to guarantee. Is he gay or european?"

Our eyes turn to Mineta, who panics, and shrieks, "Well, hey, don't look at me!"

"You see they bring their boys up different," Yaomomo remarks, "in those charming foreign ports. They play peculiar sports-"

"In shiny shirts and tiny shorts!" we finish. "Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks. They both say things like ciao bella, while they kiss you on both cheeks!"

"OOoh please!" Hagakure slurs, as Jiro mutters, "Thirsty hoe."

"Gay or european?" we continue, "So many shades of grey!"

"Depending on the time of day the French go either way!" Denki adds on, resulting in Tsuyu giving him a whack with her tongue.

"Is he gay or european?!" collectively we wonder, "Or-"

"THERE, RIGHT THERE!" Mina screams, and we all whip around, giving our full attention. "Look at that condescending smirk, seen it on every guy at work! That is a metro, hetero jerk, that guy's not gay I say no way!"

"That is the elephant in the room," we lower our pitch slightly, "well is it relevant to presume, that a hottie in that costume."

"Is automatically, radically," I wheeze, jumping with excitement.

"Ironically, chronically…" Iida continues.

"Certainly, pertin'ly…" Mina joins in.

"Genetically, medically…" Bakugo glares furiously at Todoroki, willing it to be true.

"GAY!" we all come in once more, "OFFICIALLY GAY! OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY-!"

Todoroki suddenly rushes forwards to pull Yaomomo away from crashing into a table; he also swings her backwards into his arms whilst he's at it, resulting in the two ending up in a rather intimate position.

"DAMNIT!" the rest of us scream in exasperation.

"Gay or european?" we ask again.

"So stylish and relaxed!" Iida exclaims.

"Is he gay or european?"

"I think his chest is waxed," Bakugo points out, wrinkling his nose.

"But they bring their boys up different there," Yaomomo splutters, still recovering from being in Todoroki's muscular arms. "It's culturally diverse. It's not a fashion curse-"

"If he wears a kilt or bears a purse!" the rest of us finish. "Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code!"

"His accent is hypnotic but his shoes are pointy toed!" Uraraka remarks.

"HUH!" we all mentally note that, "Gay or european? So many shades of grey!"

"But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday!" Yaomomo embarrassingly lets out. 

A couple of us give her a stare that says 'who's side are you on?'.

"Is he gay or european? Gay or european? Gay or-"

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Bakugo yells, "Give me a chance to crack this guy, I have an idea I'd like to try!"

"The floor is yours!" I gesture towards Todoroki's desk, where said boy is sitting.

"So, Icyhot, how old are you again?" Bakugo asks.

"Fifteen," Todoroki answers.

"And what's your first name again?"

"Shoto."

"... what's your boyfriend's name?"

"Midoriya."

Class 1-A all gasp loudly in surprise. 

"I-I'm sorry, I misunderstood!" Todoroki quickly backtracks, "You said boyfriend, I thought you said best friend. Midoriya is my best friend."

"YOU BASTARD!" Midoriya stands up in his seat, a look of utter rage on his face, "YOU LYING BASTARD! THAT'S IT! I WON'T COVER FOR YOU ANYMORE! PEOPLE, I HAVE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!"

"THIS MAN IS GAY AND EUROPEAN!" Midoriya cries, pointing at the blushing Todoroki.

The rest of us shriek in surprise.

"And neither is a disgrace!" Midoriya barks at Todoroki, "You've got to stop, you're being a completely closet case!"

We gasp again.

"It's me, not her," Midoriya points aggressively at Yaomomo, "he's seeing, no matter what he says! I swear he never ever, ever swings the other way!"

Midoriya storms over to Todoroki's desk, who is positively quivering with fright. Slamming his hands on to his table, he is quick to accuse him; "You are so gay, you big parfait, you flaming boyband cabaret!"

"I'm straight!" Todoroki butts in.

"You were not yesterday." Midoriya deadpans.

Then the green haired boy turns back to us, his smile more triumphant than usual, "So if I may, I'm proud to say… HE'S GAY!"

"AND EUROPEAN!" we add joyfully.

"HE'S GAY!"

"AND EUROPEAN!"

"HE'S GAY!"

"AND EUROPEAN AND GAY!"

"FINE, OK I'M GAY!" Todoroki admits painfully.

"HOOOOORRRAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!" the rest of us cheer, whooping and screaming.