CJ was sat in her usual spot hidden in the darkest corner of the clubhouse, the usual thoughts taking over her mind.
She's ugly, she's worthless, no one could ever love her.
And then there were the scars, the physical and the mental. She tried her damndest to hide the physical ones, first with clothes that were absolutely not appropriate for the heat outside and later with tattoos.
There was only one person she trusted to do her ink and she was anxiously awaiting his arrival.
Her brother had told her to expect him, knowing full well she had returned to her head, letting the voices take over.
He always worried when she did this this, not knowing how best to help her. To him Cara Josephine Winston was an enigma.
The only time he ever saw her at peace was when she was getting new ink from Happy. He just didn't know what she would do when she inevitably ran out of space.
Opie had joined their dad sat at the car and asked if he know how much longer Happy was likely to be. Piney looked over to the dark corner where he knew Jo was sat and turned back to his son. "Last I heard is within the hour"
Both men nodded their approval knowing full well the sooner he arrived the better for CJ. This time was worse than before.
They were worried she would do some serious harm if he didn't get there in time to pick her up like he always did.
Opie heard the whimpers from the dark corner CJ was sat in and could only hope that Tig had remembered to take her blades from her.
Panic taking over he moved to check with Tig and was only slightly relieved when he showed him the 3 blades he had confiscated.
Opie knew she hated feeling the way she did but had been brought up to believe that pain made her stronger. If that was true she would be the strongest of them all.
He was taken from his thoughts by the sound of bikes pulling in.
Taking the opportunity Opie stepped out to greet the new arrivals, beyond happy that Happy was one of them.
The heavily tattooed enforcer stepped off his bike and spotted Opie immediately, within seconds concern coated his usually stoic expression.
"Where is she?" Happy asked in lieu of a greeting.
"Back corner, usual space" Opie replied.
All the club members watched as Happy went against protocol to go straight to the girl that needed him more.
Knowing it was best to move slowly so to not startle her Happy made his way to her hiding spot.
He stopped to observe once he was close enough for him to see but for CJ not to see him. What he saw tore his soul in two.
She was curled up in a fetal position muttering to herself and repeatedly dragging her blunt nails over a long closed scar.
Choosing to interrupt he moved closer and picked her up, cradling her close to his chest as she began to sob.
Opie nodded to him as he walked past holding the distraught girl in his arms as he made his way to the dorm that was left for his use.
Happy set her down on the bed whilst he set up the equipment needed to do her newest tattoo.
He had designed it after their last interaction knowing she needed to feel loved, to feel wanted. He knew it was a risk but it was one he was willing to take if it meant she could begin to heal.
Without a word he started on the ink, placing it across her chest just as they had discussed the last time. She didn't have a small bust but like everything else she hated it.
As she usually did she relaxed when he began the tattoo, allowing the pain to reset her feelings and bring her back to what she considered normal. Also as usual she let him do whatever he saw fit and she always loved what he did for her.
CJ knew he understood her in a way no one else did.
It took him 3 hours in total but was beyond pleased with the final look.
He finished up with the salve which she always shuddered at which made him smirk and then said the first words of the day to her. "What do you think CJ?"
She stood and moved to the mirror and gasped in surprise at her newest addition. "Are you sure?" She asked him in a very timid voice.
Knowing he had to come clean he sucked in a breath and explained his reasoning.
"CJ, you mean the world to me, you mean the world to everyone out there. I know that voice tells you you aren't good enough but I wanted to show you that you are. We all have our things we wish were different it's just that yours are all in your head little girl. I gave you my crow as a sign that I am here, I am always here. I've loved you since I met you and now I need you to love yourself the way I do."
CJ stood with her mouth wide, processing what Happy had just told her.
She had always loved him and never in a million years did she think he would feel the same, she was broken but maybe, just maybe with him by her side she could find a new way, find a way to love.
