Lost Boy~ TaeJin~

.......

Taehyung woke up early in the morning. He smiled when he felt hands wrapped around his waist and his head on Seokjin's heart. The steady and calm heartbeats caressing his right ear. Taehyung looked up. Seokjin was sleeping, his mouth partly open. Taehyung loved the scenery. Seokjin was so beautiful, so pure. Taehyung wanted to touch the man bit he was afraid if he would wake him up. He looked deeply at Seokjin. He thought how someone can be very perfect in every condition. Taehyung recalled the previous night. How Seokjin took care of him, how he washed him. Taehyung blushed with a sheepish smile. Seokjin washed him so delicately, like he was washing a China doll. Taehyung loved how Seokjin valued him. Though he frowned instantly. He didn't worth the value Seokjin gave him. He was worthless, cheap and dirty. Taehyung sighed he wished he could clean the dirt attached to him. This dirt was drowning Taehyung and how much Taehyung drowned more the more distant he became from the one he was in love with. Taehyung sighed again before freeing himself from Seokjin's hands and getting off the bed.

"Don't leave" Seokjin said made Taehyung flinch. He was awake? Seokjin's eyes were still closed.

"We still need to talk, so don't try to leave Taehyung " Seokjin said sternly still eyes closed. Taehyung didn't respond, his eyes were fixed on the mirror. It was a picture attached to mirror. He knew this picture. Actually he knew it very well. It was him. He remembers that day. It was summer and he didn't want to go home, so he spent the summer at Seokjin's parents house. The huge Villa, with beautiful lilac garden. He remembered it was hot and he wore a white shirt with white shorts. He grabbed his book and went toward the garden. He spotted a place and started reading, he only looked up when he heard a click sound. He saw Seokjin with his Polaroid camera. Later that day Seokjin showed the picture. Taehyung was in awe, how it seemed beautiful and pure when Taehyung never felt pure. He expected anything but he didn't expected to find this picture in Seokjin's personal bedroom. A tear rolled down his face. He would do anything to go back to that time and beg Seokjin. Beg Seokjin to never let go of him, even if he wanted. Taehyung ran away from Seokjin and the pureness of his soul, but if Seokjin stopped him. If Seokjin caged him in his pureness, things never turn to this dirty and messy condition. His face was wet when he felt Seokjin standing next to him, eyes fixed on picture as well as Taehyung's.

"I miss those days" Seokjin said. Taehyung desperately wanted to say same too. But he didn't, once he said those things he can't let go of Seokjin anymore.

"I need to go" Taehyung said instead. Searching for his clothes, tied neatly on the mini table.

"Move in with me" Seokjin said, Taehyung looked at him with big eyes and mouth parted.

"Live here with me, we have been roommates so it will be easy to handle" Seokjin said with a delicate smile. Taehyung shook his head, he can't. He must not let Seokjin to be drowned in his dirt anymore. Not after what they suffered.

"Let me take care of you, please. I can't sit and watch you killing your spirit" Seokjin said his eyes teary. Taehyung knew it, he never had benefit for the older. He only caused sadness and pain.

"You know I can't " Taehyung whispered with tears rolling down.

"Yes you can, I'll help you. I'll be next to you anytime, just let me protect you" Seokjin said, his hand moved to his chest and rubbed it slightly. Taehyung felt Seokjin was in pain, he got worried.

"There's nothing to protect" Taehyung said.

"There is. You're so pure. I can't let you to get hurt" Seokjin whispered. His hands were shakey. He grabbed a glass wanted to pour himself  water. Taehyung was quick to grab the glass, fill it with water and taking it toward Seokjin's lips. Seokjin drank the water.

"I'm sorry... I'm so so sorry.  Breath Seokjinnie, please " Taehyung whispered. He rubbed Seokjin's back soothingly. He hated himself. He hated how he always made Seokjin suffer the pain.

"I thought you're healed" Taehyung whispered once Seokjin became alright.

"It only comes when I'm anxious. It can't be healed unless you don't have any anxiety" Seokjin said with deep breathes.

"I'm sorry hyung" Taehyung said. Seokjin kissed his temple.

"Move in with me" Seokjin whispered. Taehyung shook his head and stood up immediately, he changed his clothes even if he was deadly shy. His presence only worsens situation for Seokjin. He sobbed silently when he remembered the first time he saw Seokjin in that state. His mother paid a visit to their dorm. Taehyung was surprised when he saw her but she attacked to Seokjin. Taehyung shutted his eyes tightly by remembering that scene. His mom inculpate Seokjin to the thing he didn't done. That was the night he saw Seokjin suffer the pain for the first time and that was the exact night he went to a bar alone. That damn night he hooked up with someone. After that damn night he stepped out of Seokjin's life. He couldn't cause the pain. Not toward the man he loved most. Being distant with Seokjin was the best. Taehyung sobbed when Seokjin hugged him.

"Let me in, please" Seokjin whispered in his ear. All he could do was shaking his head.

"No... no... no... please I'll hurt you..." Taehyung sobbed.

"Taehyungah..." Seokjin called him.

"I'm dirty hyung... I'm so dirty... I've had sex with almost everyone in this city. I'm so dirty and I can't let you suffer because of me" Taehyung sobbed before parting their hug.

"I can't let you see drowning" Seokjin said. Hands running through Taehyung's hair.

"Do you remember minutes before hyung? You were hurting and you were in pain. I felt like my heart was out of my body. My body ached to see you like that" Taehyung sobbed.

"I know. If you let me in, if you move in with me I'll be okay, please Tae " Seokjin said. Taehyung didn't answered he ran towards the door, opened the door.

"Taehyung " Seokjin called him .Taehyung didn't looked back.

"If you walk out now, I swear you'll never see me ever again" Seokjin said.

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Hi everybody. I felt like I need to explain Seokjin's problem. There's a problem named Anxiety chest pain. It's totally different from heart disease. Actually it's not even an illness. It only comes when you're anxious. Like some people get headaches, some people eats more and some people eats less when they're anxious. Anxiety chest pain is something like that and it has no cure except being away from anxiety.
And it's a part of an article about it:
Anxiety symptoms are rarely the same from person to person. Some days, symptoms aren’t even the same for the same person. Anxiety presents itself in a variety of ways, and that makes detecting or understanding symptoms difficult.

Chest pain associated with anxiety feels different for each person. Some people may experience chest pain on a gradual basis. For others, the pain may be sudden and unexpected. Anxiety chest pain can be described as:

sharp, shooting pain
persistent chest aching
an unusual muscle twitch or spasm in your chest
burning, numbness, or a dull ache
stabbing pressure
chest tension or tightness.

I hope it was enough but still if you couldn't understand ask me through comment or Twitter so I can answer you😉

I wonder what maybe your thoughts about their past, were they in relationship before? What was their connection? What happened before?
Tell me your thoughts which I always love to know
Luv you all💙💙💙💙💙💙💙