A new part of moving in with Seokjin was being with him 24/7. They were glued to the hip everywhere. If they hadn't classes seprate they would part at all. During breaks and lunch times, during library study sessions, during friend hanging outs. Seokjin never let go of his hand in any condition. Taehyung was good. Actually he was above good. He was feeling happy. He was feeling okay. Seokjin was right, he vanished all the insecurities and all the bad feelings. However the dirty feeling inside him never left. He was still disgusted of himself. He was still dirty. But whatever he was, he smiled a bit. He smiled a bit more truly. Seokjin was his calming drug. The only one who could give Taehyung the realest smiles. Taehyung loved mornings with Seokjin's pancakes, he loved getting ready to collage which always led them to share bathroom. Seokjin washed him many times again. Washed him like a baby who couldn't wash himself. Taehyung was so shy still. Whenever Seokjin's fingers touched his skin, he felt shivers running through his body. He didn't know why! He has already been with many people. So many men touched his body, rough or sensitive. He never felt like that, he never felt shy and modest toward them. It was a feeling only dedicated for Seokjin's touches. They went to collage with Seokjin's car. Came back with it. Taehyung loved how cozy they were at home. How Seokjin layed Taehyung down between his legs. Taehyung's back leaned on Seokjin's chest. Watching TV for so long. Sometimes Seokjin resting his head on Taehyung's shoulder. Sometimes nuzzling in his neck, sometimes kissing his temple. Taehyung loved the coziness filled the place. He loved feeling firm and secure. Taehyung was falling in love more and more with Seokjin. And it was terrifying him, the thought of Seokjin getting tired of him was killing him. He didn't want it, he never could suffer the pain it may cause.
"TaeTae you're ready?" Seokjin asked while puffing some perfume on his neck. They were meeting their friends in a Japanese restaurant. Taehyung was lost in his thoughts in front of the mirror.
"Yeah I am, sorry I was thinking" Taehyung said with a sheepish smile. Seokjin Ruffled his hair.
"You think a lot! I'm glad your brain is not exploding" Seokjin chuckled. Taehyung smiled at him.
"I like thinking hyung" Taehyung said.
"Have you read Sophie's world?" Seokjin asked him. Taehyung shook his head as no.
"I have it in library, read it. It's about philosophical matter. Answers main questions of questions. It starts with a letter toward Sophie, in it only written one question. Who are you? So yeah I guess you must read that..." Seokjin said. Taehyung consumed Seokjin's words. He instantly stood up and walked toward the bookshelf. He searched a moment before finding and heading the book. He started reading, it was attractive. He only got to his senses when Seokjin took the car key. Taehyung placed the book on the coffee table before leaving the home. He preferred staying home and reading the book while Seokjin was embracing him.
They reached the place. Jungkook, Yoongi and Hoseok were already there. They talked about bit when Jimin came as well. Taehyung changed his seat so he was sitting between Jimin and Seokjin. He chatted with Jimin for a while. Seokjin's hand resting on his thigh. He loved the warm feeling of it. It passed a while when Namjoon came too, actually with a friend. Taehyung went pale and swallowed his saliva when Namjoon and Jackson approached their table. He sat down. Not looking towards Jackson's direction who sat across from them. He was embarrassed. There was possibility of him sleeping with the man. Then how could he look into Seokjin's or Namjoon's eyes.
"So now you decided to hang out with Seokjin hyung?" Jackson asked with a smirk. Seokjin looked at them.
"You know each other? I wanted to introduce you" Seokjin said. Taehyung looked at Jackson. Pleading with his eyes. Pleading to not say how or where they met.
"Yeah we hang out after bar one night" Jackson said. The table went silent. Everyone looking to Jackson and Taehyung. Everyone except Seokjin actually. He was looking to the menu. Taehyung was nearly crying. How could he clean this mess? Everything ruined? Seokjin was not looking at him. Seokjin looked up when silent was still there. Seokjin tightened his hold on Taehyung's thigh before looking towards Jackson.
"Good then, I don't have to introduce" Seokjin said with a smile.
"Yeah we know each other very well. Actually not to offend but everyone in collage knows him so good" Jackson said. Taehyung saw Namjoon's death glares toward Jackson. He felt Jimin holding his hand. He felt Seokjin's hand on his thigh.
"Absolutely he is known in collage." Seokjin said. Taehyung looked at him. Seokjin looked back at him. "His face is not something people can forget easily. I mean have you seen better looking person than Taehyung in collage? Absolutely he must be known" Seokjin said with a smile and wink toward Taehyung. Seokjin smiled when he saw Jackson's frown. Taehyung couldn't take his eyes off of Seokjin. How did he do that? He could respond in any way yet he chose to praise. Taehyung excused himself and walked toward the restroom. He knew it. He was afraid of it always. He knew his friends had to suffer because of his problems. He remembered Seokjin's smile. Fake smile! His eyes were screaming hurt. Taehyung sobbed. He knew it. He knew he will ruin Seokjin's life. He already did. They must have fun together but instead Taehyung caused a drama. How could he not hate himself?
He felt the door open, he didn't cared if he was sobbing in a restroom. He didn't care anymore. He decided he had to leave again. If even he never saw Seokjin it was better to cause him problem and sadness. He had to leave soon.
He felt hands around his waist. The owner smelled sandal. Taehyung sobbed harder.
"If you're thinking that you should leave me again because of it, I'll cage you in home" Seokjin whispered in Taehyung's ear.
"I'm sorry... I told you .... I'm dirty" Taehyung sobbed. He hated himself till death.
"And I told you I'll make you clean... besides I told you you're not dirty at all. Taehyung have a bit faith in me and yourself" Seokjin said. Taehyung looked at him.
"You don't hate me? I was about to sleep with Jackson" Taehyung said. Seokjin looked at him.
"About to? You mean you didn't ?" Seokjin asked.
"Ah... whatever. It doesn't matter at all" Seokjin continued without letting Taehyung to talk.
"I'm sorry hyungie. I always cause you pain" Taehyung whispered.
"The only pain you caused me is stomachache. I'm starving" Seokjin chuckled at his own words.
"Now let's go angel, we don't have to talk about every critics in a public restroom" Seokjin said.
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Hi everybody. I hope you like this chapter.
Did you see BTS conference? I was insane when I saw the question about enlistment. What was that? Why was that for? All seven of them were uneasy because of that question!
Anyway let me know your thoughts 😉
Luv you all 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
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Lost Boy~ TaeJin~
FanfictionI say I wanna settle down Build your hopes up like a tower I'm giving you the run around I'm just a lost boy Not ready to be found. "lost boy " by Troye Sivan started: 5th February 2020 Finished:2th April 2020
