A bottle of stardust (SVT)

Rain and radios

Jihan

An: also inspired by a Sasha sloan song called too sad to cry.

Jeonghan clicks on the radio. At this time of the night, the songs are sad and moody, perfect for how he was feeling now. "Yeah, I cut my hair, close the blinds. Play Hallelujah like two dozen times. And yesterday, I tried to pray. But I didn't know what to say. I'm too sad to cry, too high to get up. Don't even try 'cause I'm scared to fuck up. Don't like to talk, I just lay in my bed. Don't even try to go out with my friends. Lied to my doctor, she knew I was fakin'. Gave me some pills, but I'm too scared to take 'em. I try and I try, but I'm too sad to cry." Jeonghan felt that. You got that right, he thinks. He feels the hard wall behind him and buries his head in his hands as he slides down the wall, just begging for his damn tear ducts to just tear. After a while, he glares up at the ceiling, his eyes pricking with tears that just vanished without leaving his eyes. He willed his phone to ring, because he'd give anything for Jisoo to pick up. Heck, he'd even take Mingyu, that ass who left him alone. Jisoo. He missed Jisoo. He wanted Jisoo to pick up. The rain falls outside, hard and loud, the scenery outside just a black mass with tears streaking down the window. Jeonghan wonders if it would always rain when he cries. Jisoo would say, don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das not good. Jeonghan would laugh and brush away the tears, but he realised he could do that because he wasn't even that sad. But now, now, when he was dying of heartbreak, he was too sad, too empty to cry. He wanted Jisoo's warmth, his steadiness and strength. He wanted Jisoo.

But Jisoo was dead. Dead and gone.