Dark Moves Of Love ~ Neymar Jr

Chapter 42

"Wait!" I exclaimed and run after him, hoping no one noticed me. He continued walking away and towards his room. "Please." I whispered as he closed his door and left me in the corridor alone.

"You okay?" I heard from behind me. I turned around to see Marina.

"You mean because he slammed the door in my face? Yeah, I'm freaking excited."

"C'mon let's go to our room." She said.

"Our room? No Bernard tonight?"

"Nope. We can't have him exhausted tomorrow, can we?" She said meaningfully.

"Ewww. Thanks for the visual."

She chuckled. "He'll come around, you know.."

"I doubt it. And he has every right to be mad at me."

"Maybe. But he doesn't want to be." She argued.

"Anyway, we have to focus on the first game. Are you all packed? We leave pretty early in the morning."

"Almost." She said but I remembered the mess she and Bernard had made of her bed.

"Let's go. I'll help you."

She smiled. "Thanks Livvie."

The next morning it was a struggle to get out of bed. The sun was just beginning to appear but I had barely slept all night.

We got dressed in our CBF travelling clothes since the press knew what time the team was flying to Sao Paulo and brought our bags in the lobby.

"Good morning everyone." Coach Tandres said. "Leave your bags here and go to the restaurant for breakfast."

We left our bags and followed everyone to the restaurant. There was a big line since we it was the first time everyone went for breakfast at the same time.

"Good morning Meerene!" I said when I saw the cook.

"Good morning Olivia." She answered giving me a warm smile. "Today is the day."

"Yeah, today is the day." I repeated. I spotted Neymar entering the restaurant and a cloud came over my mind. I couldn't form a single thought with coherence. I saw Meerene looking at me worriedly and I snapped out of my haze. "I'll miss your cooking." I told her.

"And I'll miss having everyone here. But alas, you'll be back."

I nodded. I didn't know our exact schedule but I knew that in between games we would come back to Granja Comary.

I filled up my plate, more than usually and sat on the same corner of the big rectangle table as yesterday. Marina sat next to me.

"I'm feeling nostalgic and we haven't even left yet." She commented as she nibbled on her bagel.

"Yeah, me too." I said. I knew I was only half way through the internship – even though I had already made a gigantic mess of things – but it felt like every day that passed just brought me closer to the end of it all. To no more football, no more team, no more David and Thiago and Sarah and especially no more Neymar. One month left was all I had and he wasn't even talking to me. And the question that tortured me was since I had only one month left should I go all in or hold back to avoid getting hurt?

Since I was already hurting I guess it meant I had to choose between these two impossible choices. I had to choose just how much and in which way I wanted to destroy myself. Should I suffer in silence, staying away from him for his own good and to protect my heart against bigger heartache or should I dive in, no holding back, no looking back, knowing fully well that there will be consequences but I'd deal with them when the time came? For if I go all in, a month from now I will be devastated.

And there he is, waiting in line, casually leaning against the wall, looking outside the window, deep in thought, his eyes reflecting the sunlight. And I wonder, I wonder, I wonder where does he find it in himself to go all in, all the time? To risk everything for what he wants, to go after his heart's desires, to do anything, to sacrifice everything to fulfill his dreams. And why can't I be like that? Why can't I be brave?

What happened two years ago was hard. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. But Michael had to go through it too and Michael survived it. He is moving on with his life, small steps but still he is moving forward. My brother is trying and is being brave. Maybe I should try too. Even if I'm terrified of it.

"Morning sunshines." David said sitting next to me. I dropped my fork and hugged him tightly. He seemed startled for a second before he hugged me back. "What's that for?" He whispered in my ear.

"I love you." I told him. "And I want to talk to you."

"I love you too. And I'm glad you want to talk."

"I want a hug too!" I heard and Marcelo came up to us and hugged us. Soon people were joining in and just like that I felt so full of unexpected joy. These guys were my friends and I was very glad to have them in my life.

When we sat back down my breakfast tasted way better than it did before. I saw Neymar hugging Meerene, she looked at him with such pride, her eyes glistening.

When breakfast was done we headed for the parking quickly. The team bus was there to transport us to the airport. When we reached the airport there were tons of paparazzi and fans of the team there so security came to escort us inside.

It was mayhem and it took us forever to get inside. From there on it was easier, people still came up to the players for photos but not like before. We boarded the plane, which was a commercial flight but the front of the plane was reserved for the CBF. I sat by the window next to David, Thiago on his other side. I saw Alex and Peter sitting behind us, Alex smiled when he saw me, Peter only gave me a nod. He was still blaming me for how things turned out with Alex. I wished we could go back to when we first came in Brazil, with the four of us as friends.

David tapped my shoulder and I turned to look at him. He had his phone out, taking a picture of the three of us. David had his tongue out and Thiago was smiling. I leaned into the frame and smiled too.

"I'm instagramming this!" David exclaimed.

"Of course you are!" I said.

"We have to let people know we are on our way!"

 "Speaking of that, I forgot to call Michael."

"When we take off I think phones are allowed." Thiago said.

Indeed after takeoff I asked the flying attendant if I could use the phone and she said I could. I called Michael.

"Hey sis!"

"Hey bro." I said. "Where are you?"

"We are at our hotel. We are about to go out to explore. There's like a thousand parties happening in the city. And I know where you are."

"You do?"

"Romy follows David Luiz on Instagram."

"Of course. Well we will be in Sao Paolo soon. I think we are going to the hotel straight away and the guys have to do some interviews but we have the rest of the day to ourselves."

"Sweet. Call me and we'll meet up, okay?"

"Yeap. See you soon." I said and closed the phone.

"What did he say?" David asked.

"They are about to step out but I'm going to meet them after we settle in the hotel."

"How many are there?" Thiago asked.

"Well it's Mikey, Tobias, Romy, Demis and Samantha and Haley."

"That's a lot of people."

"Well, they've been saving up to come."

"Are they all on your brother's team?" Thiago asked.

"Yeap, all the boys. Sam is a childhood friend of ours and also Demis' girlfriend. And Haley is her best friend."

"Cool. When we are done with our interviews maybe we'll come find you?" David suggested.

"Definitely. They are dying to meet you guys. They saw your Instagram picture!"

They both smiled at that. I sat comfortably on my seat and looked at the blue sky outside. São Paulo was waiting.