It's Harder Breathing Next To You // KELLIC

2

I sat at the table the next morning munching on my cereal when my Dad came downstairs and plonked himself in the chair across from me. I already had his coffee and newspaper sitting on the table ready for him.

"Good morning." I said cheerily. I was enjoying the sight of him looking sick and hung over. Monday night is vodka night after all.

"What's so good about it?" He grunted. I didn't answer the question. We sat in silence for a few minutes like we usually did until his eyes landed on my hand which was a light shade of purple from hitting Vic.

"What happened to your hand?" He asked.

"I punched someone." I said. I knew I wouldn't get into any trouble for doing it. He'd probably just be surprised and maybe even a little bit proud.

"A little faggot like you punched someone?" He asked in disbelief. I just nodded.

"Did he deserve it?" He asked. I wonder if he ever thought that I deserved it every time he hit me. Sometimes I did deserve it because I'd accidentally or on purpose make a snarky comment or I'd forget to do a chore, but sometimes he does it for no reason.

"Did mom deserve it?" I shot back without thinking. I realized what I did and looked up at him with wide eyes. He looked pissed off. I'm not even allowed to mention my mother around here and now I'm bringing up that he used to hit her. That's the reason she left us.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." I backtracked. "Oh would you look at that? I'm late for school."

I swooped my bag up from the ground next to me and ran out the dining room towards the door that led outside. I could hear my father's footsteps behind me. I ran out the door and onto the footpath where he wouldn't dare make a scene.

"Just wait until you get home, Kellin." He called from the front door. I ignored him and kept walking, dreading the moment when I had to go home.

The first half of school that day was hell. People stayed away from me as if I were contagious, but they were all giving me dirty looks and would call me names every now and again. From what I gathered, that Vic guy pretty much runs the student body. I don't know why everyone does exactly what he says, but if you get on the bad side of him then your name is pretty much tarnished. Everyone seemed kind of scared of him. Like when I would see him walking the hallways to the next class, people would move out of his way, like they were afraid of running into him like I did yesterday.

I regretted going to lunch that day. I sat at an empty table somewhere in the middle of the cafeteria, but I wasn't eating anything. I wasn't even a little bit hungry. I saw Vic sitting at a table with Mike, plus two other guys. One of them was Jaime, the one who pushed me into the locker yesterday, and the other is Tony, I have a few classes with him. They were all talking together and looking happy, which I found unfair. I've done nothing to the people in this school yet I'm sitting here by myself, miserable, and the people who are responsible for that are living it up like they don't have a care in the word.

My thoughts ceased when I felt a freezing cold liquid running over my hair and down my shirt. I gasped at the change in temperature. Everyone at the cafeteria looked at me and laughed at what happened. I looked up at my assailant; it was Craig. He walked around me without even so much as a word and I saw him nodding at someone. My eyes followed his gaze and it fell on, of course, Vic, who nodded back. Oh, so he's the one behind this? I should have guessed that Craig was just another one of his puppets. I stood up, my chair screeching along the ground, and walked out of the cafeteria and into an empty boy's bathroom. I started to clean myself, washing the vanilla milkshake from my hair, arms and shirt. I was silently cursing Vic the whole time. That fucking bastard.

Well, at least I didn't get shoved in a locker today so I actually made it to my class after lunch. I looked at my schedule and saw that I had music; that put a smile on my face. I have always loved music class even though I can't play any instruments, but I find being around music comforting. I can sing and I can use all of the technology to mix songs, that's about it. I made my way into the music classroom. It was quite a spacious room with dozens of instruments lining the walls. There were a group of chairs in the middle of the room, but no desks. I went to the chair which was the farthest away from the front and sat in it. Slowly the classroom filled up and in walked who I guess was the teacher.

"Alright you know w-" The young female teacher stopped speaking and looked to the door. I looked too and saw Vic swagger his way into the classroom. I mentally groaned. It's just my luck that he so happens to be in my favorite class.

"I trust you have a reasonable explanation, Mr. Fuentes?" The teacher asked him. He just gave her a cocky smirk and continued walking to the only available seat left, next to me. The second he sat down I felt instantly nervous. I made sure I watched him out of the corner of my eye in case he attacked me or something, but he didn't even glance in my direction.

"As I was saying, you all know what to do. Assignments are due in a few weeks so you better get started on those songs." She said in an upbeat voice. On queue the class got up from their spots and went to the walls to pick out their instruments. I stayed in my spot and couldn't help but watch Vic. He was waiting patiently for a few students to move out of his way. One person, a small boy with a less than flattering dress sense, glasses and messy hair saw Vic behind him and quickly jumped out of the way. The boy knocked over a guitar and looked up at Vic with scared eyes.

"Sorry." The boy said quickly and picked up the guitar and handed it to Vic. Vic just took it, nodded once at the boy and walked off to a corner of the room. What the hell? He runs into me and drops his books and I get locked in a locker for the day, but this kid knocks over his guitar and he gets away with it? What the fuck is up with that?

"Hi, you must be Kellin." A high-pitched girly voice said from above me. I looked up and saw the teacher standing there. She took a seat next to me.

"I'm Mrs. Ascot. Let me fill you in on what's happening. Your next assessment piece is to compose your own song using any instrument in this room. It has to go for at least two and half minutes. So, Kellin, what is your weapon of choice?" She asked with a huge smile plastered on her face.

"Uh, well, I can sing." I said slowly, completely unsure if that will be good enough. She frowned. Okay, not good enough then.

"I'm sorry Kellin, but it has to be an instrument. If you can't play one then I'm going to have to ask you to transfer into another class." She said with a sad look. I didn't want that. I love music and I love being around music. Well, If all else fails, lie, lie,lie.

"Oh, right. I can play piano." I said confidently. I couldn't play piano though. I just chose that instrument because it was one of the only ones that no one had claimed yet, besides, how difficult could it be to quickly learn piano for a two and half minute song?

"Great! You're already behind the class so I suggest you get started. Good luck." She said and bounced away to another group of students to talk to them. I groaned and got up too, heading for the piano. I got there and sat down on the long stool...thing...in front of it. I opened the lid and looked down hopelessly at the keys.

"You can't play, can you?" I jumped when I heard Vic's voice. He sat down next to me, effortlessly plucking the strings of an acoustic guitar. I scooted away from him as far as I could.

"Yes I can." I lied.

"Go on then." He challenged. I looked up at him quickly and felt kind of satisfied when I saw that his jaw was a shade of blue from when I hit him. It wasn't very noticeable, but I could see it.

"No. Why are you even talking to me? Shouldn't you be plotting for someone to beat me up in the parking lot or something?" I asked.

"No, we're even." He said like I was stupid. Even? We're hardly even! Sure, I might have punched him in the face, but he deserved it. I don't feel like we're even at all.

"Not used to punching, huh?" He said and held my bruised hand lightly in his. I flinched and pulled it away instantly.

"Don't touch me." I snapped. "I don't...I don't like it when people touch me." I said in a less aggressive tone. I was looking down at the piano nervously. He made me so fucking nervous whenever he was near me. I guess I'll be one of the other hundreds of people in this school who is scared of him.

"Whatever." He said and stood up. I barely heard him mutter the word 'loser' as he walked away. The insult didn't affect me at all. My Dad says worse things to me even when he's being nice.

The rest of the day went by okay I suppose. I didn't have Vic or that douchebag, Craig, in any of my afternoon classes so I just stuck by myself the whole time and then the final bell rang signalling that it was time to go home. Home; where my father was sitting, waiting for me. I was expecting a big beating tonight after I gave him attitude this morning. As I walked out of the school I started feeling more and more anxious up until the point where I refused to step foot out of the school parking lot. My Dad would have started drinking by the time I get home. He usually passes out on the couch around 8PM, so maybe if I don't go home until then then he won't get the chance to hurt me. That was enough for me to make the decision to not go home yet. I can just sit here for the next five hours and go home when it's safe. Yeah, that's a good idea.

So I sat down near the parking lot against a brick wall and took my notebook out of my bag. I rested it on my knees and started writing random lyrics, which I do a lot of when I'm bored. I would just add it to my pile at home and never let them see the day of light again. I don't know how long I was sitting there for, maybe an hour? Everyone had left, although a few cars still remained in the parking lot. I thought I was alone, except for teachers staying back, until I heard some laughter. I looked up at the entrance of the school and saw a few people leaving. Mike and Vic were among them. They all parted ways with Mike and Vic walking towards the parking lot where I was sitting. I kept my head down, scribbling on my notebook, hoping that they would just walk past and leave me be, but they didn't.

"Hey Kellin, what are you doing here still?" Mike asked.

I looked up at him with the fakest smile I could muster up.

"Oh you know, just hanging out." I said casually.

"Are you waiting for someone?" He asked.

"Nope." I said and looked back down at the notebook. I tore at the edges of the paper, it was like a nervous habit of mine.

"Umm, are you going home?" He asked.

"Can't." My voice betrayed me by breaking. I hope they didn't notice. That's all I needed right now was Vic seeing that I was a lot weaker than what I was letting on.

"Well, uh, so I got the new Halo yesterday, you wanna come over and play? I've been dying to try it out." He said. I looked up at him. He was looking at me with hope, but I also saw a hint of sympathy in his eyes. I guess he noticed my upset voice then. The offer was tempting. It was sure as hell a better offer than staying here for the next four hours. I looked at Vic though. He looked back at me and shrugged before walking towards a car.

"Alright." I said and got up and followed them. Visiting the devil's lair, good one, Kellin.