It's Harder Breathing Next To You // KELLIC

31

**MIKE'S POV**

It's been two days since Vic and Kellin broke up and I worry about my older brother. He goes to school and barely says a word, although Kellin hasn't even been there. He forced me to go and check on him yesterday but I don't know why. If I were in his shoes I would hate Kellin for what he did. Who just leads someone on and then breaks up with them? Regardless of my hatred of Kellin right now I still went over his house to see that he hadn't done something stupid like killed himself. Why would he anyway? It was his decision to break up with Vic, but still, he hadn't shown up to school in two days and Vic was worried. Kellin didn't even answer the door so I had to break in, thankfully his father wasn't there. All I found was Kellin laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. He didn't say a single word to me and honestly I didn't even care, so I left.

Now, the next day, I was at home and for the second day in a row Vic came home from school and locked himself in the basement, strumming away at his guitar. Today was different though. As I pressed my ear to the door I could hear him singing. It wasn't anything I recognized, maybe a new song. I knew it was wrong, but I kept listening. He's barely spoken to me or our parents in a couple of days. I'd kill to know what's going on inside his head. It was difficult to hear, but I picked up a few lines.

"I wanna hold your hand so tight it's gonna break my wrist."

"This isn't fair, no, don't you try to blame this on me. My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot me."

"I'll sing along but I'm barely hanging on, no I'm barely hanging on. By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone."

His voice sounded shaky towards the end of the song and I knew he was crying. It was that one line "I'll already be gone" that really got to me. I know he always over-exaggerates his lyrics. He had a bit of a flair for dramatics. But his lyrics always stem from a thought in his mind, no matter how small. I opened the basement door and stepped in. I saw Vic sitting there on the couch, crying. It was no surprise. I heard him crying last night too.

"Go away, Mike." He said.

"No, I want to make sure you're okay." I said.

"I'm not fucking okay!" He yelled and stood up, throwing his guitar over the other side of the room. His outburst startled me but I quickly regained my composure. I looked over at his guitar. The neck was snapped in half. He's had that guitar since he was like five!

"You love that guitar." I said in shock.

"No, I don't love it. I love-" He groaned in frustration, falling back onto the couch and covered his face in his hands. Kellin, he loves Kellin. I've known it for a while now but he never realized it until he was gone.

"Vic." I started but didn't get to finish.

"Just get out." He ordered me. Vic wasn't one to be messed with and I knew when he wanted to be alone, so I left him there. Kellin will fucking pay for this.

***KELLIN'S POV***

On Monday morning I ignored my alarm clock and stayed in bed with the sheets covering me. I wasn't sleeping. I was just staring at the wall next to me. I managed to get away with not going to school for the rest of the week by faking sick. The weekend was easier, but now it was Monday and my dad was getting sick of me being here.

"Get up!" Was the first thing he yelled as he barged into my room.

"I'm sick." I lied. He pulled the sheets off of me and I turned onto my back, groaning.

"I put up with that bullshit last week because Joanne was here and she felt sorry for you, but not today. Get the fuck to school. I'll be at Joanne's today but I'll be back before three and if I find out you didn't go to school then you know what will happen." He snapped, practically growling at me before leaving my room, slamming the door behind him.

Right, and I'm sure "at Joanne's" really means "at the strip club". He's such a pig. I hated him so much but I had to listen to him, besides, I couldn't avoid Vic forever. I need to completely cut him out of my life. I can't be around him because I know that will just make everything so much worse. It's been hell not having him around. He's all I think about and I know I've hurt him and I feel like the worst person in the world; that's because I am the worst person in the world, well, other than Jenna. This is all her fault after all. I'm sure that one day, maybe when we're out of high school, I can tell Vic the truth and maybe, just maybe he'll forgive me. It's unlikely, I don't deserve his forgiveness. Dreading today, I dragged myself out of bed to get ready.

—-

"Fix it!" Mike yelled at me pretty much the second he saw me. He grabbed the collar of my shirt and slammed me against the lockers. I looked around quickly. Everyone in the hallway was looking at us. Vic was nowhere to be seen though, neither were Jaime and Tony.

"Mike, there are people around." I whispered.

He leant in closer, eyes narrowing into a glare. "Fix it." He seethed before letting go of me. The whole hallway was deadly silent. Mike turned around, scanning the room. I took a deep, shaky breath. He looked so mad, like murderous kind of mad.

"Hey, Franceschi." Mike said, getting the attention of Craig's best friend, Josh. Craig had been expelled so now Josh was the new head bully. "Do what you want with him."

With that, Mike walked away but not before giving me one more rage-filled look. I looked at Josh with scared eyes. My protection was now gone and it was like the first week all over again. Josh smiled at me, evilly and I wasn't game enough to stick around and find out what he was planning to do to me. I quickly pushed my way through the people and towards my math classroom. Everything is back to how it should be. Vic hates me, the rest of the school would surely pick up on that and hate me too, and now the bullies are after me again. I'm back to square one, and honestly I'm hurting so much right now I don't think the bullying will affect me at all. Josh can beat me up if he wants to and I'll be okay with that because I deserve it.

I was scared though, I have to admit. I was scared of running into Josh, but most of all I was scared to see Vic because it would hurt to goddamn much. That's why whenever I had to change classes I would keep my head down and take the routes I knew Vic didn't take. And that's why I skipped lunch by locking myself in one of the bathroom cubicles. But then the bell went and I knew I had to go to class. I had missed too many music classes and I'm already behind because I don't know anything about instruments. We have an exam soon and I literally know nothing.

Sighing, I got my act together and left the bathrooms, walking through the mostly empty halls which were littered with people also trying to avoid their next class. I got to the music room and took a deep breath before walking in. And there he was, sitting at his usual desk. Yeah, we have desks now because the practical part of the class is over and now we need to study. He looked up at me the second I walked in. His face was blank, but he looked tired. I'd prefer it if he'd glare at me or something. The only desk left was the one which was usually mine, next to Vic, so I cautiously walked over and sat there, next to Vic, gripping at my notebook as Mrs Ascot went on with the lesson.

I scribbled down notes every now and again but really I was distracted. I started feeling sick. I thought that it was just because I was sitting next to Vic and it was really fucking awkward, but no, I felt physically sick, like there was a sharp pain in my stomach. I wrapped my left arm around my stomach and continued writing notes, until a few minutes later when I started to feel dizzy. I dropped my pen and rested my head against my other arm which was on my desk. I breathed in and out but I felt so weak. I'd felt weak all day, but I just thought that was because I was nervous.

"Mr Quinn, are you alright?" Mrs Ascot asked from the front of the room. I raised my head and nodded.

"Uh yeah, but could I go and get some water?" I asked her. All eyes were on me which was a little embarrassing. I don't know if Vic was looking at me though. I refused to look at him.

"Sure. Hurry back though." She said sweetly. I nodded and went to stand up but my vision went blurry and got an instant headache. My legs gave out and I felt myself falling, right into the arms of Vic Fuentes. His arms wrapped around my waist, my back was to his chest. It's what I had been craving since we broke up. It was then that I knew how easy it would be to fall back into old habits. But I couldn't do that.

"Oh, Kellin!" Mrs Ascot called out. There were a few gasps from other classmates and I heard Mrs Ascot's high heels clicking towards me. I blinked a few times and my head started going clear again. Vic was still holding me but I didn't let my gaze wander to his face though. I pushed him away, feeling confident that I wouldn't faint again.

"Vic, can you please take Kellin to the nurse's office?" She asked Vic.

"No, I don't need to. I'm fine." I said.

"It's not a suggestion. It's an order, now go." She barked.

I sighed and decided to just leave. The eyes looking at me were starting to make me feel awkward. I left my books there and walked out of the classroom with Vic following me, keeping a close distance. Once we were out in the hallway he spoke.

"What happened, are you alright?" He asked. Fuck, why does he have to care?

"I'm fine." I muttered and kept walking to the office. Spending the rest of the day at the nurse's office sounded appealing to me.

"When was the last time you ate?" He asked. That got me thinking. I hadn't even registered in my brain that I hadn't eaten in maybe... two or three days? Yeah, it was Friday night and I was home alone so I had frozen pizza. I didn't even feel hungry right now though, but it would explain why I felt so weak.

"Kellin, answer me." Vic snapped.

"Just go back to class." I said, but it sounded more like I was begging.

"No, I won't go back to class. I want to talk to you." He grabbed hold of my hand and stopped us from walking and looked at me.

"Please. I don't want things to be like this." He said. He pulled me closer to him until I could feel his warm breath against my lips. He lightly brushed his lips against mine. No! I shook my head and looked down at the ground. He was holding both of my hands now. Oh fuck, this isn't getting any easier. It was supposed to get easier.

"Just stop it. We broke up. End of story." I said and tore my hands away from him.

"Can't we still be friends? Please, Kellin. I need you in my life." He said. I was going to cry. Shit. I turned and walked away from him, calling back something which was 100% a lie but he needed to hate me and to forget about me.

"I don't want or need you in my life." I said, a tear running down my cheek. "Please just forget about me."

I kept walking and he followed, much like the night of his party when he followed me home to make sure I got there okay even if I was angry with him. Only this time all I wanted to do was turn around and hug him. But I couldn't. All because of that fucking psycho Australian bitch!

We were almost at the office when the door opened. The nurses office was near administration, so it didn't surprise me when I saw the usual secretary walk out, what did surprise me though was the person standing with her. She was in her early forties, long black hair cascading down her shoulders. She was just as beautiful as ever, especially now that she was no longer covered in bruises that my dad left months ago. What is my mom doing here?