It's Harder Breathing Next To You // KELLIC

4

I left my house earlier than I usually would that next morning so I could avoid my Dad. He was asleep on the couch when I left and he would probably stay that way for most of the day before he woke up and started drinking again. I knew it was only a matter of time before he snaps and all of his anger is channeled into one beating.

I was walking to school extra slow today because I was early enough as it is, and I noticed that the Fuentes' house was on the route I walked. Vic's car was still parked in the driveway so I knew they hadn't left yet, unless they decided to walk. I kept on walking, not wanting to run into Vic at all.

When I finally got to school there wasn't that many people there, but there was still quite a few. I had a while left until class so I awkwardly leant against my locker and finished my math homework which I didn't do last night. The halls got louder and louder as the minutes went by and then randomly they went quiet. I looked up to see what was going on. Across from me was Vic, Jaime and Tony. They were talking to a boy who looked a couple of years younger than me. I don't know what he did wrong, but I know that he's Vic's target for the day. Vic opened the same locker he locked me in on my first day here. I memorized the numbers he used; 20-8-3. I have no idea whose locker it was or why Vic had the combo for it.

"Get in." Vic said to the boy and pointed at the locker. The boy did as he was told without any hesitation. Vic slammed the door shut, laughed with his buddies, and then the hall went back to normal, everyone doing what they usually did before class. I felt sorry for the kid because I know what it's like in there. It's dark and cramped, and if he was anything like me then he'd probably be panicking, thinking that no one will let him out.

I knew I would get myself into some trouble because of what I was going to do next, but I did it anyway. I went over to the locker and after trying the combo three times I finally got it and opened it.

"Get out of here." I said to the kid. He looked scared, but he scampered away quickly anyway. When I turned around Vic was standing there with his arms crossed.

"You're just asking for trouble, aren't you?" He asked with an annoyed, yet amused look in his eyes.

"Someone has to stand up for the little guy." I said softly. I was trying not to give too much attitude. He said we were even but I've probably just ruined that now.

"Follow me." He ordered and walked off. His friends didn't follow and neither did anyone else to see what he was going to do to me. I considered not going but if I didn't go then it would only make things worse. I may as well get this over with quickly. So I followed him down a few halls until we walked through a locker room and finally into the school's indoor pool.

"Why do you do that?" Vic's voice echoed throughout the large, deserted pool room. I followed him until he turned to face me. We were standing by the edge of the pool. What is he going to do? Drown me?

"Do what?" I asked.

"Stand up to me. You know you're going to get on my bad side, so why do it?" He asked. I sighed and shrugged. I looked around the empty room, anxiously hoping a teacher would walk in.

"Are you going to get this payback over with or what?" I asked, getting impatient. I just wanted it to be over.

"This? Oh this isn't payback. My payback is always public humiliation. This right here is because I don't like you." He said. He went to walk past me but stopped and pushed me into the pool. When I landed in the freezing cold water it felt like the air instantly left my lungs. Jesus fucking Christ would it kill them to heat up the pool a bit? I resurfaced and pulled myself to the edge and glared at Vic as he casually strolled out of the room. Fucking jackass.

—-

I was smart enough to skip lunch that day. Vic's out to get me and I felt a sense of satisfaction knowing that if I didn't go to lunch then whatever he had planned for me was spoiled. I wandered around for a little while until I found myself at the music classroom. No one was here so I walked in and took a look around. I wish I could play some of these, then I'd actually have a chance at passing this class. I went over to the Piano and pressed a few keys, it sounded like I was a three year old hitting them. I sighed, giving up easily. I looked around again and saw a laptop on a table in the corner of the room. We're supposed to use it to record our songs. I suddenly had the temptation to record my voice, just to see what it sounded like.

I turned the computer on, set it up and then thought of a song. The only one that popped into my mind was "Iris" from the Goo Goo Dolls. It was one of my favorites. After looking around the room quickly to make sure no one was in here, I started to sing without any backing instruments. My voice started off shakily at first, but I soon got more confident. I finished the first verse and was about to sing the chorus when the sound of an acoustic guitar stopped me in my tracks. I spun around and saw Vic walking towards me, strumming the tune on the guitar.

"Keep singing." He ordered.

"No." I said quickly. My face was burning from embarrassment after getting caught.

"Do it." He ordered. He started the chorus again and I still stayed silent, but kept repeating the chorus over and over again until I finally gave in and sang the chorus. He was looking at me as if he were impressed with my singing and I have to admit, I felt kind of good about that. We didn't stop after the chorus though. He kept going and we ended up playing the whole song. By the time we finished I was staring at the ground nervously. My eyes shot up though when I heard clapping in the room. Mrs Ascot was standing at the door by herself, her smile beaming at us.

"Kellin, Vic, that was brilliant." She said. I didn't think it was possible for me to be blushing any more than I was right now. I've never sung in front of anyone before, except my mom.

"Alright, change of plans. Kellin and Vic, you're going to do your assignment together. Vic on acoustic guitar and Kellin on vocals." She said.

"What? No!" Vic and I said at the same time.

"You will do this. You both work so well together and I can't wait to see what kind of original song you both produce." She said and walked off to her desk, dismissing the conversation.

Vic and I looked at each other with a sense of resentment. Fucking fantastic.

—-

Thursday went by surprisingly uneventfully. I had no run ins with Vic or even Craig for that matter. I was starting to think that Vic either forgot about getting payback or he just didn't care anymore. Either way, on Friday I stupidly thought it would be okay to go to the cafeteria during lunch. I was going to skip, like I did on Wednesday and Thursday, but I was so damn hungry I decided to go. Plus, the cafeteria was serving Lasagne, my favorite. I waited in line, looking around every now and again because I was paranoid. Vic was sitting with his friends though and so was Craig, so they couldn't get to me, yet. I got the food and was going to find an abandoned table near the back when someone ran into me, on purpose, and flicked my tray into my shirt. The whole cafeteria looked at me and laughed. I froze in my place and looked at the kid who did it to me, it was the same guy who Vic put in the locker yesterday. He looked sympathetic but didn't say anything to me as he ran off. It was at that point when I knew Vic was behind this. I looked up at him. He had a smug look on his face.

I started to walk away from the laughing and taunting eyes when none other than Craig spoke up.

"Faggot!" He called out louder than the laughing. He kept saying it over and over again until the rest of the cafeteria was chanting the word 'faggot' at me over and over again. It wasn't the insult that got to me, it was the fact that hundreds of people who didn't even know me were mocking me. They don't even fucking know me! None of them, except Mike, have even bothered to talk to me. They all just jump on the bandwagon and think that it's okay to make me feel like this. I felt humiliated. I was miserable. It shouldn't have bothered me. I should have been stronger, but I wasn't. I ran the final few steps out of the cafeteria and went into the nearest bathroom which was thankfully empty. I angrily slammed the door closed and took my shirt off. I rinsed it under the water quickly before pulling it back on. I went into one of the cubicles and locked the door, punching it in the process. Sinking to the ground, tears fell down my cheeks as I let out all of the angst of being an outcast. Why? Fucking why?! Why couldn't I just go by unnoticed like I so desperately wanted to? I was so upset with everyone in this school for being such horrible people. Most of all I was angry at Vic for being the biggest asshole ever.

I wasn't sitting there for very long. Well I was there long enough to miss lunch and half of my music class. I was planning on just going home but I couldn't bring myself to actually get up and leave, that was until someone came in.

"Kellin, are you in here?" That heartless, bastard's voice came from outside the cubicle door. My anger got the better of me and I got up, flung the door open and glared at him.

"Fucking finally. Mrs Ascot sent me on a search mission." He said casually. That only made me madder.

"Do you have any idea what you do to people?!" I shouted.

"Uh, yep." He said, a bit confused, as if he didn't care.

"Then that makes you a horrible fucking person. You just torment people and not give a fucking shit how much it messes them up!" I yelled. I didn't give him a chance to reply because I shoved past him, out of the bathroom and out of the school. I was going home, not giving a fucking shit if I got into trouble for skipping my remaining classes. I probably looked like a total idiot back there, with red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

When I got home I still hadn't calmed myself down. This was so unlike me. I never got angry until recently. I usually just pushed it down and went on with my pathetic life, but today was different. Today ended a week of a bunch of little things happening that added up to make me feel like absolute shit. When I stormed into the house, my Dad was there, ready to greet me.

"What the fuck are you doing here? You should be in school." He snapped.

"Yeah and you should have a fucking job, but you don't." I shouted and ran past him to my room. He followed me in there a second later and I looked at him with wide eyes.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." I said. Why do I have such a big mouth? Why do I keep making this worse for myself?

"Oh, you meant it, Kellin. I tried going easy on you this week because I know it's your first week of school, but you have to learn to respect me." He seethed. Respect?! How can I respect such a disgusting excuse for a human being? I didn't tell him that though, it would only make things worse. Instead, I let him push me to the floor. I yelled out at the first contact of his foot against my ribs.

"Stop! Please stop!" I shouted, but it was futile. I wouldn't be able to stop him, so I curled into a ball and endured it.

Nine...ten...eleven...twelve. Twelve times he kicked me until he finally got bored and left the room. Before the pain had a chance to set in, I pulled myself up onto the bed and lay there, wallowing in self-pity.

That's what I did for most of the weekend. I just lay there, not wanting to think about anything. Whenever a thought tried to enter my mind I just pushed it out and closed my eyes, wishing a black hole would open up in my room and take me away.