It's Harder Breathing Next To You // KELLIC

FINAL

***ONE MONTH LATER***

I lay on my new bed in my new bedroom in my new house in Michigan, staring at the wall, a razorblade clutched in my hand, trailing lightly across my clean wrist. I hadn't done it yet and I don't think I was going to. I had heard many times before that cutting was supposed to help; it was supposed to be a release and make me feel better, but I couldn't do it. I just couldn't bring myself to push the blade into my skin. Why? Because I knew that if Vic was here then he would be so disappointed in me, and although I won't be seeing him for a very long time, I felt like I kind of owed it to him to at least try not to be like this. I should try not to hurt myself because I know how much hurting myself would hurt him. But it was difficult because I felt so numb all the time. It was a vastly different feeling from one month ago though.

***ONE MONTH PRIOR***

"Pack your shit, you're moving back to Michigan." My dad said with a wicked smile on his face. My heart and stomach completely dropped at the words. I looked from him to my grandparents, then looked at Vic who looked probably just as shocked and worried as I did.

"What? No." I said as if what he was telling me was the craziest thing in the world, which it was.

"I've signed full custody of you over to your grandparents." He said, gesturing back to the people who were practically strangers to me.

"You can't do that without mom's permission." I said.

"Yes I can. I've had meetings with lawyers and had all of the papers drawn up. It turns out I don't need your mother to do this because she's been out of the picture. She didn't return any messages so it was declared that she's neglectant. Your grandparents will be taking over from here." He explained. I shook my head in denial, moving closer to Vic and holding his hand. He held back tightly.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked, tears prickling at the corners of my eyes.

"Because of this!" He roared, coming forward and grabbing my wrists, yanking it away from Vic. Vic stepped into action, putting himself in between me and my father and shoving him away from me.

"Touch him again and I'll put you back in that hospital in a second." Vic fumed. I was shaking by now. This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening!! Vic and my father stared each other down and I thought they were about to kill each other. My father looked past him at me.

"You're a minor, Kellin. You have no choice in this. Don't make me get the police involved." His steely voice said. He was actually serious about this. I didn't know what to say. I just wanted to turn back time and make this all go away.

"You're not taking him." Vic said possessively. Vic turned to me and pushed me towards the car, opening the passenger side door and urging me towards it.

"You can't fight this, Kellin. I'll get the police involved." My dad threatened. I just glared at him as Vic shut the door. He ran around to the driver's side and got in, starting the car and driving away. I watched my father and my estranged grandparents the whole time. I was shaking and I didn't know what to say.

"Are you okay?" Vic spoke. I looked at him and shook my head.

"What am I going to do?" I asked. Vic looked at me with sad eyes. "No, don't do that, Vic. Please don't look at me like that."

"Hey, hey, I'm not looking at you like anything." He soothed, holding my hand. "I-I'm not." I didn't believe him for a second. He knew what was happening right now. He knew that the two of us were no match against the law. He was always so sure of himself, but now his confidence was slipping and that's when it really hit me. I was going to be taken away from Vic. Still, I pushed the thoughts away because I wanted to stay positive and I couldn't deal with them right now.

"I'm not going anywhere." I said. Maybe if I said it out loud it would come true. So I stuck with that thought for the entire drive back to Vic's house. Vic didn't say anything to me and I knew why; he didn't want to give me false hope. I was perfectly capable of giving myself false hope anyway.

Vic and I got back to his place and walked inside the empty house. His parents weren't home yet and I knew Mike was with Jaime and Tony this afternoon. It was so quiet in here. We were both daring the other to speak, but neither of us knew what to say. I was still in a state of shock and I didn't want to believe what was happening, so I ignored it.

"Let's watch a movie." I said and walked into his living room, heading towards the TV with a stack of DVD's next to it.

"Kell-"

"I'm thinking action." I cut him off. I picked up some DVD's and looked through them.

"Kellin, stop." Vic said. He was behind me now. He placed his hands on my shoulders, massaging them softly. I shrugged them off and turned around, holding a DVD up.

"How about Star Wars? I mean, I know Tony is obsessed and would probably get mad at us for watching it without him but he isn't here right now. Hey, maybe we could text the guys and see where they are and invite them over. We could have a movie night, even though it's a school night and all but hey, maybe school will still be cancelled. Speaking of which I wonder if...uhm..." My rambling was cut short when my eyes met Vic's. His were glistening with unshed tears and it broke my heart. I turned away from him, back to the DVD pile. "Please don't cry, Vic. Everything will be fine. There's nothing wrong."

"Everything is wrong." He whispered. I shook my head, still in denial, and dropped the DVD back onto the pile. I was going to argue with him but a moment later the doorbell was ringing. I turned and Vic and I looked at each other.

"Don't answer it." I pleaded.

"I won't." He promised.

The ringing door bell was replaced by banging on the door. "Open up! Police!" An unfamiliar voice came from outside the house. I looked at Vic in fear. My father had actually sent the cops, and he didn't even hesitate in doing it. They were here so quickly. Vic and I didn't make a move, and I guess we didn't even have to because Vic left the door unlocked and soon there were two men in police officer uniforms walking into the room.

"Kellin Quinn?" One of them asked. I shook my head quickly, completely scared of what was going to happen.

"I'm not going!" I shouted and ran past them without a warning, making my way to the stair case. I heard Vic tell them something about giving him five minutes. I kept running until I got to Vic's room, swinging the door open and going in. Moments later Vic was there and we were both looking at each other.

"I can't leave you." I said as tears spilled out of my eyes. "Please, Vic, do something! Make them leave! I love you too much and I can't bear the thought of being away from you. Please!" I cried, my cries turning into sobs. Everything was hitting me and it all was becoming too much. I started shaking and not breathing properly. Vic ran over to me and embraced me just as I was dropping to the floor. He fell with me, holding me as I cried into his shirt. "We've been through so much, it can't end now. Why won't you do something?"

Vic's hold got tighter as he rocked me back and forth. "I can't. You know I can't. If I could then I would, but I can't. I'm so sorry." He gasped, his voice shaky. He was right. He was 100% right. My dad wouldn't stop until he's succeeded in making me miserable. I stayed in Vic's arms for I don't even know how many minutes. I wanted the moment to last longer because I know that it was going to be the last one for a long time.

"What's going to happen to us?" I finally asked.

"The second you turn eighteen I'm coming for you." He said.

"That's over a year away! I can't live without you for that long!" I exclaimed. He didn't say anything. There was nothing he could say to make this better. There was nothing anyone could say or do to make this better. I was so lost in our little moment that I didn't even hear the police officers come into the room until they spoke.

"Mr Quinn, you have to come with us now." One of them said. I shook my head and held on to Vic tighter, burying my face in his neck.

"It's okay, you have to go with them." Vic said quietly. I still wouldn't let go. I heard footsteps and then a hand latch around one of my arms, pulling me up from the ground and away from Vic.

"No!" I shouted. I pushed the police officer away from me and ran back over to a now standing Vic. I threw my arms around him and held on for dear life. I didn't want to let go of him, I couldn't, not after how much we've been through. We only just sorted everything out and now we're getting torn apart again. We didn't even get one full day together!

"Please don't make this any harder than it has to be." Vic whispered into my ear. He took my arms and unwrapped them from me. I took a tiny step back so I could look at him. "I love you, Kellin." He leant forward, not caring about the police officers, and he kissed me full on the lips. I was crying again as I realized this could be the last time I ever felt his lips on mine. I don't want to let go...but I did.

"I'll call you every day. We'll found our way back to each other, I promise." He told me, brushing the tears off my cheeks. Those were his final words to me.

***BACK TO THE PRESENT***

He didn't call me every day. Or maybe he did, I don't know. The moment I got back to Michigan with my grandparents, they took my phone off of me and won't give me any access whatsoever to the internet. Even when I went to back to my old school, the staff members had been specifically told not to let me near any technology. My grandparents were crazy religious. They saw Vic as this boy who had changed my sexuality and corrupted me, so they thought that if I lost all contact with him that it would make me get "better", as they say. It didn't make anything better. It just made me fall into the depression where I spent my spare time staring at a white wall clutching a razorblade.

I let go of the blade and left it on the bed, then my hoodie-covered arms wrapped themselves around my cold body, trying to give myself at least a little bit of comfort. It wouldn't work though. Nothing could comfort me these days. Actually, there was one thing that I thought about that made the numbness temporarily go away. Sometimes I hope that Vic would show up at the front door, ready to kidnap me. That little sliver of hope was the only thing keeping me alive right now. It probably wouldn't happen though. Vic doesn't even know where I live now.

The sound of the doorbell rang, igniting that hope inside of me, just like it did every time we had a visitor. I listened carefully to find out who it was. Usually it was just one of my grandparent's elderly friends, or a distant relative. Not this time though, this time I recognized the voice. I shot out of bed immediately and ran over to the door, almost tripping over my unpacked bags. I hadn't had the energy to fully unpack them yet. Swinging the door open, I stepped out into the hall and saw her standing at the front door with my grandparents who looked clearly flustered at her presence.

"What are you doing here, mom?" I asked bitterly.

"I'm here to collect my son." She said, more to my grandparents than me. Why? Why was she here? What did she want from me? She was supposed to be out of the country. What would possess her to come back for me?

"You can't do that." My grandmother said. "We have sole custody."

"Actually, as of today, you don't." My mom said, feistiness dripping from her every word. She never liked my father's parents very much. My mom held out a piece of paper at them.

"What's this?" My grandfather asked, taking the sheet of paper.

"Custody papers. I have lawyers too, you know. Did you really think I was going to let a couple of nutjobs like you take my son?" She asked. I was beyond confused. She didn't want me! Why would she go through the trouble now?

"This is ridiculous." My grandfather said.

"On the contrary, it's quite serious. I have sole custody now, and if you don't mind I'd like to spend as little time talking to you as possible" My mom said to them with a sweet smile on her face. "Kellin, get your things together."

I nodded, running back into my room to get my things. Anything was better than being here. Anything! Even living with my mother who I swore that I hated. It didn't take me long to collect my things and shove them back into my already full suitcase. When I wheeled the suitcase back out into the hall everyone was still in the same spots they were in before, eyeing each other down.

"Where are you taking him?" My grandmother asked.

"Canada." My mom replied bluntly.

"Canada?! You can't take me to Canada!" I complained, but in all honesty I'd go all the way to Australia if it meant I could be away from these people.

"Don't argue with me, Kellin. Trust me. We're leaving." She said defiantly, and with that she turned and walked out the door. I didn't even bother saying goodbye to my grandparents as I walked past them. I had nothing to say to them. There was no love lost there. So, I chased after my mother, down the long drive way, away from that evil house, and to her car. She was already in the car by the time I got there. I opened the back seat and tossed my suitcase in before getting into the passenger side.

"I don't want to go to Canada, please, mom, if you love me at all you'll take me back to San Diego." I begged her once we started driving.

"You're not going back to San Diego, but, you're not going to Canada either." She said, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. She had a sly smile on her face.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I had to lie back there otherwise they never would have let you go if I just asked." She said. She looked at me and must have noticed my confused expression because she continued to explain. "The custody papers were fake. You know, that boyfriend of yours is a smart cookie."

"Vic?! You've been talking to him?" I asked quickly and she nodded. "How? Why? How is he?" The questions spilled out of my mouth rapidly.

"He contacted me. I have no idea how, he just said something about connections. But he found me about a week ago before I was leaving for Canada and he thought up this little plan to get you back." She said.

Happiness filled my entire body. Was this the moment I had been waiting for ever since I got here? I thought it was just false hope, but no, now it looks like I could actually be reunited with Vic.

"Where is he? How is he?" I asked the question again.

"Calm down, I'm taking you to him now." She said and I finally looked out of the window. We were headed into town. "And he's...he's alright. When we first met up he was a complete mess, but today he was good, he was happy knowing that he'd get to see you again."

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I'm going to see him again! I'm actually going to see him again! I'll be able to hold him and kiss him and love him and everything I had been wanting to do that ever since the police officers dragged me from him kicking and screaming one month ago.

"Thank you so much for doing this." I said to my mom. She looked at me and smiled.

"I owed you this, Kellin. You're my son and I let you down because of my own issues and I never should have done that. I just hope doing this for you is a step towards forgiveness." She said. I nodded my head quickly. Of course I forgive her. She came back for me and that's all I ever wanted from her.

We didn't talk for the rest of the trip around town. We didn't need to talk. Everything that we needed to say for each other had been said. Nervousness and excitement was bubbling up in me. It wouldn't be long before I was in Vic's arms again. My mom finally drove into the parking lot of a motel and I saw Vic's car there. It took every bone in my body not to jump out the car and run around screaming his name to find him.

"Well, this is where we say goodbye." My mom said, giving me a small, but sad smile. "I hope you have the wonderful life you deserve, Kellin. I mean it. I'm sorry for hurting you so much."

I shook my head. "Don't apologize. I uhm, I hope we run into each other some time." I said, even though I had a feeling she was probably still going to Canada and she still had whatever issues she had which made her incapable of being there for me.

"Me too." She said. I smiled at her and reached over, hugging her. When we pulled away I smiled at her and said goodbye.

"Goodbye, Kellin. Oh, and he's on the second floor, room twelve. Go get him." She said. One last look at her and I was out of that car with my suitcase being hauled behind me.

I went as fast as I could, dragging it up the stairs because they were close and there was no elevator in sight. I practically ran down the hall, counting the door numbers as I went. Nine, ten, eleven...there it was. Door number twelve. I wasted no time in knocking on the door and apparently he wasted no time in answering it. I didn't wait for a hello or even for him to acknowledge that it was me standing there. I let go of my suitcase and attacked him, colliding my body with his and wrapping my arms around his neck. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I had wanted this for so long and now it's happening.

He still smelt the same. He still felt the same. His arms wrapped around me in the exact same way they did when I had to leave him. They were comforting and protective, like he never wanted to let me go again.

"I love you." I said and kissed his cheek. "I love you so much and I missed you so much and I can't believe you're here." I kissed him on the lips. He deepened the kiss, grabbing onto my shirt and pulling me into the room and shutting the door. I didn't even care that my suitcase was still out there. He led me over to the bed and pushed me down onto it, his lips leaving mine.

"I told you we'd find our way back to each other." He said, smiling that gorgeous smile of his.

There wasn't much talking after that. We didn't need to. We both knew how we felt about each other and we didn't have to bring up how much we had both been hurting over the past month because that would have ruined the moment. Instead, I took his hand in mine and pulled him onto the bed on top of me and kissed him. The half an hour that followed that kiss was a frenzy of emotions that we both had to let out because our body's ached for each other. They ached to be close.

It turns out Vic actually had a plan. Apparently while I was gone he got a phone call from Fearless records and they liked the few demos he had sent them from the band Vic, Jaime, Tony, Mike and I started, and they want us to tour the U.S as the supporting acts for some random band on the rise. Vic had brought the boys with him on his cross-country trip and they were staying in separate rooms. For once in my life I felt like I had purpose, like my life meant something and that I was really going places; and it was all because of him, this hot-tempered, egotistical prick who saved my life and stole my heart.

And as he collapsed onto the bed next to me trying to catch his breath he pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me tightly, once again swearing to never let me go again; I realized I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. This way I feel about him far surpasses that of a common teenage love. The world seemed to want to keep us apart but he kept fighting for me no matter what and that's all I've ever wanted in my life; for someone to fight for me, for someone to love me like I know he loves me.

"You know..." Vic started, lightly kissing my neck which drove me wild. "I don't remember a time since I've met you when it was possible to breathe properly whenever you're near. I love you so much that it constantly leaves me breathless"

I didn't say anything, I just melted against him, kissing his perfect lips, the lips that I would kiss for many years to come.

****

Author's note: THE END?!?!?! Yes, the end. Kinda cheesy if you ask me, but whatever. Thanks so much to everyone who read this! Thanks for being patient with me when I deleted my blog and had to re-write the first few chapters. Thank you for no hating me too much for hurting your feels. Thanks for the messages! Thanks for everything you perfect human beings :)

Before you start asking for a sequel: I don't actually have plans to do one, but I do have an idea and if that idea starts forming in my head then I MIGHT write a sequel. Maybe. But I hope you know that if there is a sequel it won't be all lovey dovey and happy, cause as you know the whole point of IHBNTY was the world keeping them apart and them somehow getting back together...so if I made a sequel it would continue that. So I'm not saying there won't be a sequel, but I'm not saying there will be either. It's in the maybe pile.

OKAY BYE. I LOVE YOU GUYS. MWAH! XOXO