It's Harder Breathing Next To You // KELLIC

12

My alarm clock woke me up on Monday morning bright and early, not that I got much sleep last night anyway. It's hard to get to sleep when you've got a certain Mexican boy on your mind. I have never had someone on my mind this much, ever. I think about how much I hate him and then five seconds later I'm thinking about how much I want to go back into his room and finish what we started.

"Fuck you, teenage hormones." I groaned into my pillow before getting out of bed. Looking down I glared at the problem in my pants. I have really got to stop thinking about him and replaying what happened yesterday. I still don't like him though! I'm just a sexually frustrated teenager, that's all.

"I need to find a boyfriend." I muttered, half-jokingly, to myself. I don't think I have the emotional capacity right now to sustain a relationship.

I pushed the thoughts away and had a shower, got dressed, avoided my dad and was on my way to school in no time. I walked into the building later than I usually would. The first thing I did was set my eyes on Vic. He was talking to Jaime and Tony by his locker. He didn't notice me walking throught the hall, thank god. I suspect our next interaction will be awkward. I mean, I told him every little thing that I hate about him, then we kissed, then I ran away. What's not awkward about that?

I walked past them to my locker, opening it to get my math books out and put other books in. I threw my lyric notebook in there. I'm sure Vic wouldn't take it again. He's already had his fun with it. I don't even know how he found out my locker combination to get it in the first place.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out quickly, surprised because I never get messages. The message was from an unknown number.

'Don't go to class when the bell rings. I want to talk to you- Vic'

I flipped the ancient cellphone shut and closed my locker. I turned around and looked at Vic, he was looking back at me. I shook my head and walked off in the direction of my first class. He must have gotten my phone number off of Mike because I sure as hell didn't give it to him. I sat down the back of the classroom, as per normal, and my phone vibrated again.

'Real mature' The text said. It was of course from Vic. I silently seethed and turned my phone off. He's implying I'm immature? Sorry if I don't want to hang around and talk to someone who purposely made my life hell here. I'm not going to forget it that easily.

My morning classes were brutally long and boring. I spent most of my time daydreaming about Vic. I just want him to get out of my head. I was in History, watching some boring as hell documentary about Hitler when someone knocked on the classroom door. I looked up to see Vic. I inwardly groaned. God must hate me. Vic strutted over to the teacher and said something to him.

"Mr Quinn." The teacher called out and motioned for me to go up to him. I collected my notebook and pen and went to the front of the room. "You're required at the prinicpal's office."

Lie! Lie lie lie! This was Vic's doing, I know it. I couldn't argue with the teacher though so I followed Vic out of the room.

"What do you want?" I asked when the door was closed.

"Uh, nothing. The principal wants you." He said like I was stupid.

"Liar." I shot back. He shrugged his shoulders and started walking down the hall.

"Don't believe me then. You're the one that'll be in trouble." He said. I knew he was lying, I just knew it. But there was that small part of me that didn't think he was lying. He could be telling the truth, so I gave in and ran after him.

"Wait. I don't know where the principal's office is." I said sheepishly.

"Follow me." He said without looking at me. He just kept walking and so did I, trailing behind a step or two. He led me up a staircase to the third floor of the building. We walked along a corridor and down another one until Vic slowed down, took my hand and pulled me into a dark room. He shut the door, pushed me against it and kissed me. I dropped my books before pushing him away.

"Stop that." I said. I knew he was a fucking liar. I looked around quickly. We were in a small cramped space with brooms and mops along the wall, buckets on the floor and other odds and ends scattered everywhere. He brought me to a janitor's closet to make out? How cliche.

Vic came back over to me, but I held my hand up to stop him. He stopped once he was extremely close to me. His body was pressed up against mine and I could feel his breath on my lips.

"Don't pretend you don't want me." He said.

"I'm not pretending." I said, looking into his eyes which were just inches away from mine.

He kissed me again, being more forceful this time. I turned my head to the side, detatching his lips from mine. No, I can't let him win. He kissed my neck instead.

"Oh fuck." I accidentally whispered as warmth spread from the kiss throughout my body. Ugh, not the neck. Anything but the neck! My breathing hitched as he kissed the spot again.

"What was that you said yesterday? Palpitations?" He asked, kissing my collarbone this time. I bit my lip to stop the sound that wanted to escape. My hand was on his chest and my brain told me to push him away, but I just ended up gripping his shirt.

"N-nope. Don't know what you're talking about." I stuttured as he continued his assault on my neck.

"W-whatever you say." He mocked the stutter. Jackass

"You interrupted my class for this?" I asked. He bit at my neck, sucking it, probably leaving a hickey.

"I think this is more fun." He said, licking the spot he just bit. I was shaking by now. He definitely knew what he was doing to me.

"We were watching an interesting documentary." I breathed.

"Oh really?" He asked uninterested. He slid his arms around my waist and kissed my jaw line. I didn't bother pushing his hands away like I usually would.

"Yup. It was about Hitler. I'm sure you could relate to him." I said.

He stopped the kisses and sighed. He took a step away from me, leaving me there to let out a breath and relax.

"You really think I'm a horrible person, don't you?" He asked. I didn't answer but it was pretty obvious what I thought of him.

He looked to the floor, closing his eyes for a second before looking back at me.

"You know what, just whatever, Kellin. Think what you want." He said. He walked towards me, pushing me to the side before opening the door and leaving.

I stayed in the small closet for a little while longer though because I had a, um, problem which I had to wait for to go away. How is it possible to hate someone so much yet the only thing you want to do with them is throw them on the floor and have your way with them? That's how Vic make me feels and I hate him even more for it.

I picked up my book and left the closet just as the bell rang. I went straight to the cafeteria, got whatever food they were serving, not that I felt like eating anyway, and looked around the cafeteria. I couldn't see Mike anywhere, in fact I hadn't seen Mike all day. Maybe he's sick or something. I shrugged it off and went to an empty table towards the back of the cafeteria. I got my phone out of my pocket instead of eating and turned it back on. I had no more messages from Vic. Speaking of Vic, I looked up at his table. He was sitting with Jaime, Tony and that Jenna girl from the party on the weekend. There was no sign of Mike though.

"Hey."

I looked away from Vic and saw Matty, from my music class, standing there.

"Oh, hi." I said with a small smile.

"No Fuentes brother to protect you today?" He asked.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Uh it's pretty obvious Mike's only sitting with you to pretect you from Vic." He said. "Can I sit?" He added.

I nodded and he sat down across from me with his tray of food. Hm, so to everyone else it looks like Mike is protecting me from Vic? They couldn't be more wrong. Mike has no say in what Vic does. Mike sitting with me keeps the rest of these vultures away from me. In fact, I feel a lot less safe without him here.

"Sorry, is this weird? I mean we talked like once, but you were by yourself so I thought you could do with some company." He said.

"Oh thanks. No, it's not weird. It saves me from looking like a loser sitting by myself." I said with a small chuckle.

"You're welcome to sit with my friends if you want. They're just over there." He said and pointed to a group of peope who I recognized mostly from our music class.

"Mm thanks, but no thanks. I don't do too well with a lot of people." I said shyly.

"Yeah I didn't think so." He said. "So where are you from?" He changed the topic.

"Michigan." I said awkwardly and took a bite of of the food. It was horrible so I pushed it away.

"Why'd you move here?" He asked.

"Reasons." I said. I felt bad that I wasn't answering him properly but I didn't want to lie and I don't want people knowing everything abut me. Especially people I hardly know.

"Alright, I get it, you got this whole mysterious and secretive thing going on." He grinned.

"Sorry I-"

"No, it's cool. So did you go to the Fuentes' party?" He changed topics again. I nodded.

"Yeah, did you?" I asked.

"For like a second, but my girlfriend wanted to leave and well, it's best not to argue with her. She can be a bit of a demon when she's mad." He said with a laugh.

"Does she go to this school?" I asked.

"Nope, she goes to an all girls school near here." He said.

Our conversation went on like this for the rest of lunch. It was mainly him asking questions about my life and me trying to direct the focus of the conversation back to him. I felt like we were becoming quick friends, which was really quite odd for me. I mean, with Mike I felt as though he thought he was obligated to be friends with me because of things that have happened, but with Matty he actually chose to come over here and befriend me. I have never had this kind of experience before. The bell rang quicker than I expected, indicating it was time for Music.

"I'll meet you there. I have to go get my book." I said when we got up.

"Yeah, sure dude. See you in a few." He said and he hopped over to his friends.

I left the cafeteria and headed towards my locker. I got my lyric notebook which I had covered in stickers last night so if Craig and his gang saw it then they wouldn't know it was the one they were reading on Saturday night. I walked into the music room and smiled at Mrs Ascot, my favorite teacher. I went to the back of the room and sat on the floor against the wall. I opened my book and started working on lyrics some more. I already had dozens, but I always like to write new ones. Our assignments are due in a couple of weeks and Vic and I have barely even talked about ours, not that I care. I've already done my part. I just have to pick one of the lyrics and use it.

Class started 10 minutes ago and I looked around, seeing no sign of Matty, or Vic for that matter. Just then Vic walked into the room carelessly, picking up his guitar. He smiled cockily at Mrs Ascot's disapproving look and proceeded to sit in one of the chairs in the middle of the room. Matty was gone and Vic was late. I put it all together in my head quickly. Vic being Vic is probably trying to stop me from making friends because he likes it when I'm miserable. I sighed, getting up off the floor and walking out the room once Mrs Ascot's back was turned. I knew where I was going. I went down to the first floor and straight to that damned locker.

"Matty?" I called out.

"In here." He sighed in defeat.

I opened the locker and Matty stumbled out of it. He fixed his disheveled clothes and looked at me.

"I'm sorry, Matty. Vic, he has it out for me and as soon as he sees I might have actually made a friend, he wants to go and ruin that." I said, annoyed.

"Yeah, I gathered as much." His tone was just as annoyed as mine, but what bothered me was the look he gave me. He was annoyed at me. "Look, I've been on the bad side of Vic before and I don't want to do it again so..."

I knew what he was getting at and I wasn't going to put up a fight, I mean, I wouldn't want to be friends with me either.

"So this will be our last conversation." I finished for him. He nodded with a look of regret. He looked like he was going to say something more, but he didn't. He turned around and left me there in the hallway. I thought I was alone, I was wrong.

"Aw what did you let him out for? It's funnier when they're in there all day." Vic's voice came from behind me.

I turned around. He walked up to me and I did the only thing I wanted to do to him right now. I stepped towards him, making sure his gaze stayed on my own eyes, then I pushed him into the locker and slammed the door shut before he even knew what was going on.

"Let's test your theory. I'll leave you in here for the rest of the day and see if it's funny." I said angrily.

"Let me out of here, Kellin. You'll regret this." He threatened. I rolled my eyes.

"Goodbye, Vic." I said and walked down the hall. I stopped though when I got to the end. For once I thought about the consequences of my actions. If I leave him in there then the rest of the school will find out. Vic will then have a vendetta against me again and will make my life a living hell. It's been somewhat peaceful around here lately with everyone ignoring my prescence, but I'm practically declaring war here if I don't let him out.

I mentally cursed my conscience and walked back towards the locker. When I got closer I could hear talking so I slowed down and walked quieter. Yes, I'm eavesdropping, so what?

"I don't give a shit if you're sick, Mike. Get here...No, Jaime and Tony are in class..." He said. I could tell he was on the phone, obviously. Unless he's already gone crazy and is talking to himself.

"That little punk is starting to become a pain in the neck. I'm starting to understand why his father hits him."

My stomach dropped and I felt like the air left my lungs. Those words hurt, a lot. They would hurt if anyone said them, but coming from Vic who saw first hand what my dad has done to me...that just made it worse. I felt like crying. That's how much his words hurt me.

I stepped forward and unlocked the locker, opening the door. Vic looked surprised as he steps out of it. I was going to yell at him or something but I couldn't. A tear strayed from my eye. I shook my head and went to walk down the hall, but he grabbed my arm to stop me and ran in front of me.

"Kellin I-"

"No!" I shouted and pulled out of his grasp. I wiped my eyes, hating myself for being such a sensitive cry baby. My anger was overcome by a sadness as his words sunk into me more and I quickly started to believe that they were true. What if I deserve to get hit because of how I act?

"You asked me before if I think you're a horrible person. Well the answer is yes, I do. But apparently I'm right there with you 'cause if I deserve to get hit by my dad then I must be pretty horrible, right?" I aked softly.

I didn't wait for an answer. Instead I went home to where my dad was waiting to rightfully abuse me.