It's Harder Breathing Next To You // KELLIC

27

Hangovers are the worst. You wake up with a painful headache and your stomach turning, which was exactly what my first feelings of the day were. I groaned, burying my head in the soft pillow below me.

"Kels?" My favorite voice asked from somewhere. I opened my eyes, wincing at the bright room. Okay, it wasn't even that bright, but it felt like it. My chest was to the bed and as I pushed myself up I realized I wasn't wearing any clothes. I turned around onto my back and made sure the sheet was over me, which thankfully it was. Then I felt a different feeling, other than the hangover. A feeling, uh, down below I guess. I felt different. Sore. I looked at Vic in alarm He was standing at the foot of the bed, dressed in the clothes he was in last night, but he had showered. I looked around at my clothes strewn out all over the floor.

"Vic...What did we do last night?" I barely recognized my own scared voice. No no no this cannot be what I think this is.

"How do you, uh, feel?" He asked cautiously. I glared at him and his stupid fucking apologetic face.

"How the fuck do you think I feel?" I snapped. Rage was boiling up inside me. How the hell did we let this happen?

"Okay, just calm down." He said.

"Calm down?" I barked. "I will not fucking calm down!" I swung my legs off the side of the bed and picked up my boxer shorts which were at my feet. I pulled them on before throwing the sheet off and standing up.

"I didn't mean for this to happen like this." He said and came towards me. I backed away and started collecting my clothes from around the room.

"Didn't mean it? You got me drunk! You brought me back to a hotel! Of course you meant for this to happen!" I yelled. I was too angry to stay calm about all of this. If I wasn't angry then I'd be upset, but no, I want to be angry.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. Sorry? Seriously? My mind tried to go back to last night but I was coming up with nothing.

"I can't even remember it." I said, walking towards the bathroom. I turned back to him before walking in. "What were you thinking? 'Oh Kellin's wasted, I'll just take advantage of him'?" I said, mocking his voice. I didn't wait for a reply. I walked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

"That's not fair!" He shouted through the door. I wasn't listening though. I stomped over to the shower and turned it on. The sound blocked out whatever was going on out there. I was so fucking angry and upset at both Vic and myself. I knew going out drinking was a bad idea, I just knew it. And now I'm left here after losing my virginity and barely a single memory to remember it. Why did I have to go and drink so much? I can't believe this has happened. I always pictured my first time being with someone I was in love with and not fucking drunk! I told Vic that. I told him I wanted to wait. He fucking knew that!

As I stepped into the shower I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I'm such an emotional mess sometimes. I'm acting like a girl, I know I am, but I've always been a sensitive person. I tried to push it out of my mind, but it wasn't really working. It's been done and I can't change that no matter how much I try. I just don't know how this is going to change mine and Vic's relationship. I'm just so confused because I trusted him and now this had to go and happen. Oh fuck, I hope we used a condom. I thought back to last night and I can vaguely remember the packet being ripped open.

I sighed as my tears stopped and lent against the cool tiled wall while the hot water continued to soothe my aching muscles. I kind of didn't want to go back out there. I didn't want to look at him, not because I was mad, but because it's really awkward. What if he remembers it all and I did something embarrassing? What if this completely changes our relationship for the worst? I just feel so...used. What if this was all he wanted all along?

I turned the shower off, stepped out and got a towel off the towel rack. I dried myself off and got back into the clothes from last night because we didn't bring a spare change or anything. I walked out of the bathroom slowly to see Vic there holding the room key.

"The others are waiting in the lobby." He said with an emotionless face.

I looked around for my things and ended up finding my phone on the bookshelf in the corner and my wallet on the floor where my jeans once were. I picked them both up and followed Vic out of the hotel room. We walked in complete silence to the elevator. Once we were in there he pressed the button for the lobby. The whole ride down was silent, until right before the elevator doors opened.

"I really wish you'd stop making me out to be a villain." Vic said quietly. I looked at him. He was looking back at me with a sad look in his eyes. Why do I feel like the bad one here? I guess he was right though, I do make him out to be the villain, but I have every right to. He isn't exactly a saint.

We walked out of the elevator and saw the others. As soon as we got to them Vic's personality totally changed. He started chatting to them about last night, leaving out certain details. He high fived Mike when he said he brought a girl back to the hotel room and he laughed at Tony after he told us a story about how he ended up on the roof of a car dancing. Jaime however still looked drunk. I stayed quiet the whole time, smiling every now and again whenever someone would look at me. After we caught up about last night we all went to Jaime's car; Tony got in the front. Mike, Vic and I were in the back, with Vic in the middle. As we drove along I gazed out the window, wishing I was anywhere but here right now. Half way through the trip I felt Vic lace his fingers with mine. I didn't look at him. I went to take my hand away, but he just held tighter, so I relaxed. He still had this calming and comforting effect on me.

"Catch you later, Kellin." Jaime said as he pulled up to my house first.

"Yeah, hope you didn't get too drunk." Tony added. I smiled at them but didn't really answer.

"Catch you at school, buddy." Mike said and we did a fist bump thing.

"Yeah, see you all on Monday." I said. I glanced at Vic, but didn't say anything. I was about to just sigh and get out of the car, but he cupped my cheek in his hand and lightly kissed me before letting me go. No matter how mad I was at him, he still managed to give me butterflies.

"Uh, bye." I said to them all and got out of the car. A moment later they were gone. I walked up to the house, ignoring my sore muscles and unlocked the front door using the key under a lone garden gnome. My dad had gone to Joanne's last night so I didn't expect him back. The first thing I did when I went inside was have a glass of water and an aspirin because everything hurt. The next thing I did was go to my room and change into a clean set of clothes. I lay down on my bed and was distracted a second later by my phone beeping. I picked it up from where I threw it on the side of my bed. It said that my battery was almost flat. I rolled over to the other side of my bed where my charger was and plugged it in. When it came back to life I saw something on the screen that I don't remember going into. I was in my videos file and there was a new one sitting there. What? I opened the video and started watching.

**LAST NIGHT- NO-ONE'S POV- THIRD PERSON**

"What are you doing?" Vic giggled from the bed.

Kellin was over at the bookshelf with his face in the phone. He was angling it and checking screen to make sure it got a good view of the bed.

"We're making a sex tape!" Kellin shouted excitedly.

"Sex." Vic laughed at the word. He was laughing at everything lately. It must have been those last few complimentary shots the bartenders gave him. Kellin went back over to the bed and crawled on top of Vic, holding his hands.

"Is that seriously recording?" Vic asked.

"Uh huh. We're going to be famous. Like Paris Hilton." Kellin said. "And we'll call it 'One Night in Kellin'." He started laughing and kissed Vic, sliding his tongue into his mouth. Just moments before they had been in the middle of a hot make-out session before Kellin interrupted them with his video idea. Truth be told, the boys had no idea what they were doing. Vic thought Kellin was just joking around with all the sex talk.

Kellin moved up and down on Vic, rubbing both of their growing erections together. His hands went to Vic's shirt as he unbuttoned it quickly and ripped it open. His hands trailed up and down the Mexican's tanned chest, making him kiss the younger boy harder. Vic wasted no time in unbuttoning and removing Kellin's shirt. Both boys were so turned on and their minds were so mixed up that they were moving along quickly, a lot more quickly than either boy wanted to go. They undid each other's jeans and pulled them down, wrapping their hands around the other's members.

"Oh God." Kellin moaned. His lips left Vic's and he sighed into his neck. They were both enjoying this so much. They massaged each other, breathing heavily and rocking back and forth together. "I want you so bad."

Kellin nipped Vic's chest lightly, grazing his teeth along him. The sensation left Vic wanting more of the small boy. Kellin's desire for Vic bubbled up inside him and he knew he was close to finishing. He knew it, but something stopped him. A wicked idea came to his mind.

"W-wait." The suddenly confident boy gasped. Vic stopped and looked at Kellin curiously. Kellin didn't say anything. He just got off of Vic and, after disposing of his pants which were around his ankles, he walked into the bathroom. He searched for anything the hotel would have to make this easier and he found something. It was baby oil but he'd figure it would do. Kellin walked back out to Vic showing him the bottle.

"Wait, what?" Vic asked in shock.

"I think you know what." Kellin said cheekily. He crawled back on top of Vic, straddling him.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Vic said. He didn't know why he was saying this. He wanted Kellin so badly but there was a little voice in the back of his head screaming for him to stop.

"But I want you, Vic." Kellin lowered his head and kissed his boyfriends jaw and then his neck. "I want you to fuck me." He whispered. Vic's whole body went hot and tingly from those words. Kellin was being so seductive. It was a whole different side of him that Vic had never seen before.

"B-but we shouldn't." Vic managed to say. Kellin wasn't hearing it though. No, Kellin was motivated by his hormones and the fact that he had switched his own brain off long ago. He poured some off the baby oil onto his hand and then rubbed it all over Vic's member. The sensation had Vic moaning in pleasure.

"Please, Vic, baby. Please. I need you." Kellin kept whispering over and over again. Vic tried to resist, but he just couldn't. "Fuck me." Kellin whispered again. It was enough for Vic to turn off his common sense too and flip Kellin over onto his back, ready for a night of passion. After all, all Vic wanted to do was make Kellin happy.

**BACK TO THE PRESENT- KELLIN'S POV**

I turned the video off and deleted it the second I saw Vic give into me. My jaw was practically on the floor and I was in a state of utter shock.

"Oh my God, I'm a slutty drunk."