It's Harder Breathing Next To You // KELLIC

32

I don't know how long I was driving for. I was just concentrating on the road for most of the time because it was better than concentrating on the other things going on in my life. The sun was gone and I think I may have actually done a few laps of the town before I found myself on a long straight road I vaguely remembered from when Craig and Josh kidnapped me.

I knew I was going to be in so much trouble when I got home. My dad can flip out and beat me over something as simple as forgetting to take out the trash, so I can only imagine what he'll do to me when he finds out I stole his car. I deserve whatever he does to me though. I deserve so much hurt for hurting Vic over and over again. I wouldn't have to hurt him so much if he didn't keep coming back to try and get back together with me. I wish he would just stay away, and I wish Jenna would get hit by a bus.

I gripped the steering wheel tighter at the thought of her. I hope karma gives her what she deserves. But the world doesn't work like that. The world isn't fair. The world rewards people for being horrible human beings. In fact, Jenna is probably working her magic on Vic now, comforting him, kissing him. I shook the thoughts from my head. I suddenly had an idea of where I wanted my destination to be. I still had my fake I.D and all I wanted to do right now was use it to forget everything, so I kept driving along in search for a bar. I ended up driving into a small town and it seemed like the type of town where everyone would know your name. Since it wasn't a very big town it didn't take me very long to come across a bar with a small neon sign which was flashing the word "Cashby's". I pulled into the small parking lot and got out of the car, trudging across the gravel towards the bar.

When I walked in it was just the atmosphere I wanted. There were very few people in here. There were a few tables and booths which no one was sitting at and there were pool tables where a few people were playing some rounds with a jukebox playing in the background. Over at the bar there was one person sitting on a stool with his head rested against the bar, so he was probably drunk. I went over and sat as far away from the drunk man and a second later the bar tender came over. He was really tall and skinny with short black hair. He looked like he was in his mid-twenties.

"Hmm, now what would a teenager be doing in a bar by himself?" The bartender asked, leaning on his elbows across from me. I saw a name tag on his black shirt which said "Austin" on it.

"Uh, I'm 21." I lied, but to prove it I took my I.D out of my wallet and gave it to him. He took it and looked at it before chuckling and giving it back.

"Right, sure you are, Kellin Quinn." He said. "What can I get for you?"

I breathed out a sigh of relief. He obviously didn't believe me but he wasn't going to kick me out either.

"Whatever's the strongest." I muttered. I want to get drunk quickly. He turned around and did his thing behind the bar before giving me a shot of light green liquid. I took it and drank it. It fucking burned! I started coughing and my eyes were watering. Like he had predicted that would happen, Austin had a glass of water ready for me. I took it and drank it, ridding the taste from my mouth.

"The fuck was that?!" I asked him.

"You said you wanted the strongest." He teased. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I want something strong that doesn't taste like I'm swallowing a fire." I said. He grinned before doing his thing again and coming back with an actual drink in a glass. I cautiously took a sip. I could still taste the alcohol but it was sweet so it was nice.

"So, what's troubling you?" He asked, once again leaning across from me on his elbows.

"Why do you assume something's troubling me?" I asked.

"Well, you're a teenager who is drinking alone in a bar." He said like it was obvious.

"I'm not alone. You're here with me." I shot back. He sighed and rested his chin in one of his hands. The look he gave me told me he wasn't going to give up. "I don't feel like talking about it."

"We'll see about that." He said and went about making me another drink.

***ONE HOUR LATER***

"And then the trampy bitch was all like 'yo dawg, you best be breaking up with Vic or I be tellin' the whole school'. And I was like 'aw hell no girl you be trippin'! But then I had to break up with him. I had to. I didn't have a choice." I said, ending with a gasp and covering my mouth with my hand. I was sitting on the bar now, my legs crossed and a drink in my hand. Austin had downgraded me to beer. It tasted disgusting but I didn't care.

"Okay, and what did he do?" Austin asked.

"He fought for me!" I shouted. "He kept fighting for me and I just want him to forget!" I sighed in exasperation and fell back onto the bar, laying down across it. All the people had left now and it was just the two of us.

"He clearly likes you, dude. Fuck what the school thinks." He said.

I tried to sit up quickly but ended up rolling off the bar with Austin catching me before I hit the ground. We both ended up stumbling over though and falling to the ground anyway. He started laughing and I did too before pushing him off of me. I may be drunk and my judgment is impaired, but I still don't want anyone touching me other than Vic.

"Vic cares what the school thinks." I said after we calmed down. We were both sitting up now, but on the floor. "Plus he'll never forgive me. Never!" I said dramatically. I rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes for a moment. My vision was blurred and I had a headache.

"Then apologize." Austin said. Apologize? Yes, I could. In fact, I might do that right now.

"Yes!" I yelled, making Austin jump. I got up from my spot and almost tripped over Austin before making my way to the phone that was sitting on the other end of the bar. I picked it up and slowly dialed Vic's phone number which was permanently etched into my brain.

"Drunk dialing is never a good idea, dude." Austin said, coming up behind me. I turned, shushed him and pushed him away.

"Hello?" Vic finally answered.

"Vic, I'm sorry!" I exclaimed. My mind was racing at lightning speed with all the things I wanted to say to him, but everything was quickly getting shut down whenever I remembered Jenna's threat.

"Kellin?" Vic asked.

"Yes?" I questioned.

"Why are you calling me? Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Nothing is okay, Vicky. Nothing. Ever. Ever! And I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'm just sorry." I said, repeating the word 'sorry' over and over again. I didn't know what else to say that wouldn't get me into trouble.

"Are you drunk?" He asked. I paused and thought about it.

"Maybe. But it's not my fault. He fed me the poison." I said. I glared at Austin and poked his chest. I still hadn't forgiven him for that awful shot.

"Who? What are you talking about?" Vic asked.

"Austin!" I said excitedly. "He's my new friend!"

"What? Who? Where are you?" He sounded mad. Why does he sound mad? What did I do now? I just wanted to say sorry.

"Give me the phone." Austin ordered, holding his hand out.

"Who was that?" Vic asked quickly.

"That was Austin!" I said, smiling. Austin tried to take the phone from me, but I kept it away from him. Then I panicked. I didn't want Vic knowing where I was and I knew Austin would probably tell him, so I hung up without another word.

"You know he's going to be worried about you now, right?" Austin asked. He was being so serious all of a sudden and I didn't like it one bit. I was having fun before. Before I could answer him the phone started ringing. Austin and I paused and looked at it, then looked at each other. He went to answer the phone but I jumped in front of him and pushed him away.

"No, please don't. I just need one night away from everything. Please, Austin." I begged, giving him my best puppy dog eyes. He looked at me and then at the phone before giving in, sighing.

"Alright, fine." He said. "But I-"

He stopped talking and looked behind me. I turned around too and saw what he was looking at. Through the windows of the bar I saw flashing lights; not red and blue police ones, but yellow and orange ones. Austin and I walked out from behind the bar and over to the window to get a closer look. The yellow lights were attached to a tow truck which was edging closer and closer to my dad's car.

"What are they doing?" I asked.

"I don't know. Stay here for a minute." He said. He left me there and left the bar. A moment later I saw him outside, talking to the person driving the tow truck. A minute later their conversation ended and Austin was back inside. He looked mad at me. Why is everyone always mad at me?!

"You stole a car!?" He yelled at me. I started giggling and nodded. "That's not funny. That guy out there is towing it away because it got reported as stolen. Whose is it?"

"My dad's!" I told him and started laughing harder. I wasn't sure why I was laughing; maybe the fact that I actually stole my dad's car, or the fact that I now had no way of getting home and when I do eventually get home I'm as good as dead.

"Why would you do that? That's illegal, Kellin." He scolded. I rolled my eyes because he was being too serious again.

"You're such a party-pooper. I'm out." I said and made my way towards the exit, although I had no idea where I was going to go.

"Oh no you don't. You're staying with me tonight." He said. I turned and looked at him like he was crazy.

"I am?" I asked.

"Yeah, come on. I live out the back." He said and nodded towards a door. Well, it sure beats sleeping on the streets I guess.

***VIC'S POV***

I stood outside of a bar called "Cashby's". When Kellin called me an hour ago and I tried to call back it went to voicemail and this is the name of the place that the voicemail told me. There were no lights on though, so I probably should have left, but this was the only lead I have on where Kellin is. I need to find him, I just need to. He's drunk and with some guy called Austin and I know how Kellin gets when he's drunk. The thoughts going through my head of what he could be doing broke my heart. Or what if this guy is hurting Kellin? I don't care that Kellin and I broke up (that's a lie), I don't care that he hurt me more than anyone ever has in my life; Right now I just want him to be okay.

I walked up to the front of the bar and knocked on the door as loudly as I could. I didn't get any reply. There was no way I was going to leave though; even if the place is deserted, I can't leave without making sure he's not here. Luckily I bought a couple of paper clips with me and easily broke in. Pushing the door open I was greeted with nothing but silence. Looking around I couldn't see any signs of people, but there was door towards the back off the bar. It was probably just a supply room or something, but I still felt the need to check. So I went back there and opened the door. It creaked loudly, but I didn't stop. I stepped in and laying there on a mattress on the floor was Kellin and some guy who I presumed was Austin. They were both asleep, they weren't touching each other and both had all of their clothes on, so I guess that was a good sign, but it still killed me to see him in anyone's bed other than mine. Had he already moved on while I was still trying to clutch at straws to save our relationship which I knew was long gone? I had trouble letting go of him, I knew that, but I couldn't bring myself to stop fighting for him.

"Get up." I said loudly. Kellin didn't even stir in his sleep. The other guy however shot straight up quickly, jumping off the mattress and standing up in a defensive stance.

"Who are you?" He asked quickly.

"Vic." I said. He seemed to visibly relax when I said that.

"Oh, right. Yeah I was hoping you would have heard the voicemail and found your way here." He said. He was being nice but I was pissed off. Right now he is the enemy.

"Is this what you do in your spare time? Get teenagers drunk and bring them back to your bed?!" I yelled at him. Kellin finally started to stir. His adorable face contorted into one of discomfort.

"Hey, I didn't touch him if that's what you're getting at. I'm not a pedophile, okay? And if I didn't give him the alcohol then he would have just gone and gotten it from somewhere else and he could be lying in a ditch somewhere right now." The boy, no, man said. I was still angry, but he was right, it could have been worse. I still felt the urge to punch him or something.

"Vic?" Kellin's groggy voice interrupted my homicidal thoughts. I rushed over to the boy, kneeling next to him. I helped him stand up. He wasn't very steady on his feet which made him giggle. I guess he hasn't really sobered up yet.

"I'm taking you home." I said, wrapping an arm protectively around his waist.

"Oh, okay. Oh, bye Austin!" Kellin shouted and pushed me away from him. Kellin ran over to Austin and jumped at him, wrapping his arms around him. Austin just held up his hands defensively, not hugging Kellin back; probably because I'd get mad. I went over to them straight away and pulled Kellin away while glaring at Austin. I hate Kellin touching other guys. I hate it no matter how harmless it is.

"See you around, Kellin. Good luck with everything." He said. Good luck with what? With breaking my heart over and over again?

I took Kellin out of that room and out of the bar. We walked, well he stumbled, back to my car.

"What were you thinking? And how did you even get here?" I asked.

"I took a cab." He said. How could he be so stupid?

"Anything could have happened to you." I scolded as I unlocked my car. I was about to put him in the passenger seat but he stopped me by holding my hand. I turned and looked at him with my eyebrows raised, giving him a questioning look. He was thinking about something, I just don't know what. He made up his mind though and stepped towards me, putting his arms around me in a hug. I loved having him in my arms again, even if it means nothing because he's just drunk and I know he gets really needy when he's drunk and does stupid things.

"I'm sorry for hurting you." He whispered into my neck, his hot breath against my skin making me shiver. "I'm just so sorry."

"Then fix it. Just say the word and we can get back together and I'll forget everything." The words just spilled out of my mouth. He was drunk! I couldn't trust anything he was saying to me, but still, I wanted to live in this little fantasy for a little bit longer. The fantasy that maybe he wants to get back together.

"I can't." He said. My fantasy was crushed just like that. Why doesn't he want me? Did he finally realize how much of a bad person I am? But, I didn't do anything to him. All I did was love him. "I'm so sorry." He whispered again and pulled out of the hug, but I wouldn't let go. His lips were so close and it'd be so easy to take advantage of him right now, but I didn't. He did it instead. He pressed his lips against mine, but before I could even respond he pushed me away, turned around and started throwing up whatever mixture of alcohol was inside of him. I was never good with puke, but still, I knelt down next to him and rubbed my hand along his back, trying to sooth him.