Uncontrollable(HUGE REMAKE)

Chapter 10

After I shut the door, I sat down at the chair near on my computer. My robodog is awake, barking my name, and trying to look happy. I look at Lisa and she keep wiggling her robot tail. Kezia, Kezia. I'm still crying. Then, I take a shower, and put my blue and white pajamas on. After that, I went outside, on the roof, to think. It's 9:30 in the evening, but I'm not sleeping yet, but I don't care. I'm looking at the stars, waiting for shooting star, to wish. Hugo used to tell me that if you saw a shooting star, that can make your wish come true. I don't really believe on him about that. Wish is just something that probably won't come true. But it's a big desire for you to have. I keep staring at the stars, then finally the moon glows through the chocolate sky. Suddenly, I close my eyes, to dream. What it should be like with peace? What it would be like if your wish do come true? It could more joyful if that things happen. I'm smiling, while being lost in my thoughts. All of a sudden, I heard a noise, that's coming from the roof. Somebody went up on my left side from where I'm laying down. I quickly sat up to see who's that, then I saw Ethan.
"Ethan," I said.
"Hey! How are you? I saw you on my room, that's why. Just want to say hi," he said, smiling at me and waving his hand, then he slowly sat down on my side. "You look sad," he added.
"Me?" I asked, pointing at myself.
"Yeah you. You look so dismal," he said, looking at me. I'm not sure if I should trust him about my thing. I don't know him yet, and my dad told me to not to trust anybody about myself.
"I just want to think and, you know, to be relax," I utter, then I squeeze my left toe.
"I could tell," he sigh. Should I ask him about the Great Assassin? Maybe he knows about him.
"Hey, uhm," there's a big hesitation. "Uhh, do you know who is the Great Assassin?" I asked, looking at him.
"Sounds scary. But yeah, I know the Great Assassin. But I don't know his name," he said, shifting his eyes on his nails.
"How come you don't know his name?"
"My parents don't let me to know it. I don't know why either. It's just making me mad when I asked and they never answer, that's why I stop talking about that guy," He said.
"How about Uncontrollable?" I asked again, shifting my eyes to my right wounded knee, which is wrap on a big medical tape and covering my pajamas.
"Uncontrollable? Yeah, I've heard of it. The Great Assassin that they were talking about is an Uncontrollable. For me, Uncontrollable is cool. Just sayin'," he said, smiling. Now I know that there's still people who like Uncontrollable people.
"Hey, I know you're lying to me that you are fine. But remember, if you need something, I'll be here," he said, tapping my back while smiling. I smile back and whisper "thank you."
"I'm just here, 2 house away from you. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow Kez," he said then he climbed down to go on his home, then I get back to my room and bury my face on the pillow and try to sleep, thinking what will happen tomorrow. Is it going to be well delightful day? I really want to talk to someone so bad. I could talk to Ethan, but should I trust him? But what if he betray me? No, I should not trust him. I should not trust anyone but my dad. I opened my eyes, then I pick a pillow to put in my face, then sleep.
******
It's 5:30 in the morning, and I am awake. I open my table lamp near my computer, then stands up, protecting my right knee and stretch. I sat down on my chair, and look to my robodog, pretending that she is asleep. "Lisa," I said, then my robodog woke up, wiggling her robot tail.
"Can you tell me if it's raining outside," I commanded then she stop playing around.
"It's 16 degrees outside. Bring an umbrella. There is 90% rainfall this whole day," she stop to talk then he played around again. I went to the bathroom to take a shower and I take out my blue blouse, white skirt and my long white socks and my black shoes; getting ready for school. I take out my white pastel blazer and my blue jogging pants for not being cold. I clean my right wounded knee. Everybody will see my wound on my knee at the school, this is going to be embarrassing. After I finished putting my clothes on and softening my hair, somebody knock on my door.
"Kezia, it's me, you're mom. May I come in?" She asked. It's mom.
"You may," I said, facing the door, standing straight. My gaze turns to my mom who is walking towards me. When she's already on my front, she hugs me and removes it and holds my shoulders, crying.
"Kezia," she said, wandering on my face.
"What do you want?" I'm still mad about yesterday. Then, the memory came into my mind.
I'm not allowed to tell her the truth.
"I love you," she said, clasping her hand on mine. I gave a mock smile and I think that is my answer on her non questionable sentence. For sure I love her, but I can't trust her. That means, I don't. Atticus used to tell me that if you love somebody, you can trust them.
"Why are you crying mom?" I asked, giving her a wary look.
"I'm just so proud of you," she said, smiling through her ears.
"Proud? Of what?" Maybe she's lying. I know she received the letter that dad received yesterday. Maybe she's just saying that because I'm gonna leave her soon, because I have to leave, because of who I am. Or maybe, she's the one who's going to turn me in at the governor. I know mom won't do that, but she's on the government. We won't know. Sometimes, life can be so unpredictable.
"Let's go downstairs and eat," she said, then she holds my hand to guide me out the door.
My covered injury in my right knee is giving me pain, that's why my dad gave me this automatic wheel chair. It has a wireless remote that is connected to control the wheelchair. There's a pressing menu if you want to move at left, right. I don't need to worry getting upstairs, the school has an escalator and an elevator. We don't use stairs on public buildings.
We already eat our break-fast. Everybody was silent. Only Atticus and Hugo were making the break-fast loud and enjoyable, while mom and dad were silent and they are portrayed like passive victims. Me, dad and my two brothers are in the car now while my mom already went to her work, in the government. She's the business manager. She manage every things the government want to build. Anyway, it's very silent in my dad's car. I'm sitting with Hugo and Atticus is on my dad's right.
"How's your work going dad?" Atticus asked, almost a gasp. Dad looked at him aggressively, trying to answer his question. I'm still quiet, looking at the window.
"It is going great son. How about you? What are you thinking for college?" He asked, looking at him. Hugo looked at me, I try to look at him and he smile, widely enough to make me smile too, but I take away my gaze to him and shift my eyes to the window again.
"Well, I want to be a journalist. That would be great," he said, then his eyes shift to the side mirror and he looked at me. He smiled and I smile back, but I look away and I put my earphones on to not hear their conversation.
Finally, we're in the school.
"Kezia, I want to talk to you just a minute," dad said, then Atticus and Hugo stop. I know they want to hear what are we going to talk about that's why they stop.
"Atticus, Hugo, you guys can go," he said, then they went away and me and my dad are just the people in the car.
"What?" I asked.
"Kezia, please be careful," he plead.
"I don't know dad. Even if how careful I am, if they'll find out about me, I'll be vanish," I said, looking away to him, trying to hide my tears fall.
"Just listen to my advice, and you'll be fine. Don't tell anyone about you, pretend that you are normal, and don't give that much trust to anybody. Clear?" He said, looking at me.
"Clear," I said, then I pick my bag and open the door then wait till the car stairs to go down and started to roll my wheelchair.
When the automatic door open up for me, all eyes turns on me and every conversation just stop suddenly. I kept pressing the go button to find my brothers, then they came on my back.
"Hey, what happened last night at dad's office?" Atticus asked while Hugo is walking with Atticus, following me. Then, I press the break button on the remote to stop and talk to them, and they face me.
"Why do you want to know?" I asked, giving them a boring look.
"We're just worried," Atticus said.
"Did you cry?" Hugo asked, holding my cheek.
"I'm fine," I said, shaking my head to make him remove his palms on my cheek.
"Kezia, if you need something, me and Hugo is just here. Don't hesitate to come to us and ask for help. Go to your class. I'll see you later at the school commissary," Atticus said then Hugo smiled at me and I nod. I press the turn button and start to go to my next class. I wonder if they'll know about me. I know they are my brothers, but what if the government will use a syndrome to force them to kill me? Okay, I'm being obsess about this killing thing. But I can't help it.
I entered my classroom, and all my classmates are looking at me, smiling. I smile back at them and when I reach my assign sit, Ethan remove the chair for me to replace it on my wheelchair. He looked at me.
"I can see now why you're sad last night," he said, I smile at him and he smile back.
"What happened?" He asked. I hesitate to answer because I don't want to talk, and answer everybody's questions. I'm tired.
"Forget it. It doesn't matter," I said, and I remember the Great Assassin. Now, I know my future life; alone, murderer, and a prisoner. Screw this. I don't want to be like this. I know I'd say it a lot of times, but I'm not going to be tired to say it every minute that runs up. I hate my life, I hate myself. I want to be someone else, to fit in. Because even if how much I try to fit in, I am not going to be, because of who I am. Ethan looked at me, as if he want me to say something, but I turn away and listen to our first period teacher.
"Good morning class. Before we start, I want to say a couple of things. Ethan, why don't you help your friend Kezia to the Principal's office. They need you there Kezia," our teacher said and I start to press my turn button then go. Ethan walk with me to the main lobby.
"Can you tell me what happened yesterday?" He pleaded.
"Ethan, I don't want to talk about it. I'm tired, okay. Geez," I said, shaking my head while pressing my forehead. He picked the remote for my wheelchair and he's the one who control it.
"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you. I'm your friend, that's why," he said, looking straight. I look at him, shaking my head.
"What? It's true. I'm worried because I'm your friend," he said, then smile at me. I didn't smile back, and my answer is a tear on my eyes, falling down through my face.
"Kez, why are you crying?" He asked, then he stop the wheelchair and kneel down on my front to face me.
"I don't know what to do. I'm scared," I said. Should I tell him what am I scared of?
"Of what? Of who? Kezia, you can trust me. If you don't want to say it, that's fine. Okay? If you want to talk, I'm here. Everything will be alright," he said then he wipe my tears with his thumb. I bite my lower lip to prevent myself to cry, then I nod. He stand up and we started to go. I'm still holding my forehead, and thinking. Why they need me in Principal's office? I have a feeling that this is going to be another chaos.