Alec hasn't done it in a while. He promised himself. But sometimes you break promises. He hasn't self harmed himself in months almost a year. But lately he's felt depressed. He never told anyone he started hurting himself again. The last time when he told Izzy, she freaked out. When he told Magnus he started crying.
He didn't want to tell anyone. He only did it when Magnus wasn't home. He wasn't home today. Alec locked himself in the bathroom and pulled out his serpal blade.
He dragged the blade across his wrist and watched the blood run down his arm and onto the floor. It felt good to do that. It felt great actually. As he kept cutting and feeling the pain, he heard the door open. "Alec? Are you home?" It was Magnus. He was home early. He cleaned up the blood and put the blade away. As he was leaving the bathroom he pulled his sleeve down. "Hey babe" Magnus said and kissed him on the cheek. "Hi" he said. Magnus noticed a change in Alec the last few weeks. He seemed. .distanced. Quite. The longer this behavior went on. The more he wgetting worried. He didn't question him.
Later on that night Alec was sleeping next to Magnus. He couldn't fall asleep. Magnus was looking at the ceiling, trying to get sleepy. Alec rolled over and Magnus noticed something. Alec sleeve rolled down and saw... Marks. Not runes. He made a little light come off his hand. He lifted up his arm and looked closely. He could recognize those anywhere, self harm marks. Fresh self harm marks. He started cutting himself again. Magnus didn't know if he should yell or cry.
He shock Alec awake. "Alec did you start hurting yourself again?" Busted. Magnus lifted up his arm and looked at the cuts again. He started sobbing. Alec hugged him "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll stop. I'll quit" he whispered. Magnus kissed his cuts. "Don't ever hurt yourself. Ever. Understand?"
They both sat up. Alec looked into Magnus' eyes and saw worry. Magnus saw nothing but depression in Alec's. "Why did you start doing this again?" He asked. Alec couldn't look at him. Not one bit. Magnus made him look at him. "Why?" He asked more stern. "I feel like no one cares anymore." he whispered. Magnus couldn't believe what he said. "People love you Alec. I love you. Don't ever think no one doesn't love you. You have your sister. Friends. Me" he said. He hugged Alec tightly.
They ended up staying up all night. Drinking tea and watching movies on the couch and cuddling. Alec vowed he wouldn't hurt himself again. This promise won't be broken again.
