Why? - a Drarry Fanfic

Chapter 7

*A/N: Hey guys, so sorry I know my writing sucks... I hope you like it anyway and I'll try to get better at it soon.*

Draco

I was in the common room when Granger and Weasel run in, and goddamn do they look pissed. The only thing missing is Harry. 

"DRACO MALFOY!!!" Ron screams, and comes running at me. 

Merlin, what did I do this time? 

He comes closer, Granger following close behind. "Malfoy, we need your help." At least Granger sounds sane. Ron looks as if he'll murder me any second, and I don't blame him.  I mean, everyone hates me. 

"We need you to go get Harry, he won't talk to us, and he clearly adores you. He's in the room of requirement." Granger continues to describe the room he's in, and then they both ;eave.

I sit, stunned for a moment, not sure of what to do. After a minute, I get up and go to the ROR. Why do they think he adores me? He probably hates me too, and only sat on the train with me out of pity. 

As I'm walking I think back to fourth year. That was when I started. I remember my first time so vividly, it's almost as if its happening right now. I remember exactly how the cold blade felt, cutting my wrist opened. How the blood felt. How... relieving it felt. The pain, the blood, everything mixed together made me almost...

Happy.

The thought makes me long for a blade, and I almost summon one. This year's already been shit. No one really talks to me, and all I get are dirty looks. Except from Harry, Pansy, Blaise, and a few Slytherins.

I realize I'm here, so I stop, pace three times and picture the room. A door appears, and I knock before entering, but get no answer. I wait a moment before opening the door, and I see Harry. On the bed, the blankets soaked with some blood. Is this how mum felt when she found me?

I run over and pull him into my arms. I don't care if I'll get a little blood on me, all I care about is him. He clings to me, and buries his head in my chest. I'm a little surprised, but as soon as I feel him melt to my touch, I rest my head on top of his and rub circles on his back. We sit there for a while, not talking, not moving.

After a while Harry looks up at me. His face is tear stained. I feel my heart breaking in pieces. He opens his mouth, but I put my finger to it, silencing him. 

"Harry, no. This needs to stop. I've been there, okay? I know what it feels like. But this. Is. Not. The answer." 

He stares in my eyes, and I stare back into his beautiful emeralds. 

I should have sent more than one bloody owl this summer.

"Draco, I can't help it. No one likes me, and..." He says something that sounds like 'never like me, you hate me'. Wait, does he like me?

"Harry, give me your arms. I need to heal them." He doesn't at first, but slowly gives me them. Merlin, he's already this bad? These are deep, I can tell. Thankfully, not too deep, not deep enough for him to bleed out.

I grab my wand from my pocket, and put healing charms on them. He stares at his wrists, watching them heal. Should I bring up what he said? Maybe. I don't know.

"Hey, Draco...." He pulls way a bit and sits next to me. "I...I need to tell you something." Does this mean he trusts me? And if he does...why? 

"What is it?" 

"I... umm... I think I... Jesus Christ... I'm sorry, this is hard to word. Umm...I-think-I-really-like-you-and-I-know-you'll-hate-me-but-I- needed-to-tell-you-because-I-doubt-I'll-be-here-at-the-end-of-the-year."

I don't understand a word he says. 

"What was that? I couldn't understand." 

He looks ashamed, and I have no idea why. 

"Nevermind. I have to go, I'm sorry for...this, I guess. Sorry I'm such a pain." Harry grabs his backpack and runs out, leaving me speechless and confused. What was wrong? He said something about not...being here? I think?

Holy shit... Did I hear that right? Not here anymore... He's going to do something stupid and it's my fault. I bullied him for years. I made him feel like shit, this is my fault. 

I sit on the bed by myself, guilt welling up in chest. A blade appears next to me...

I stare at it for I don't know how long, wanting so bad to pick it up... slice my skin open... feel the cold blade against my arms... my own blood dripping down my skin... to feel the pain... to feel anything again...

So I do.

I pick it up. I roll up my sleeve. I clench my jaw as I draw the blade against my wrist. Deeper and deeper into my wrist, and the blood drips down my arm. Relief floods my entire body. I feel so much better, and this feel so much better than I remember. 

I almost don't stop but I know that I need to get to him as soon as possible. I pocket the blade, and run out of the ROR.

I have to go find Harry now. He doesn't deserve to die... or to feel this pain. I need to put him first and help him... then I can deal with my own sorry life.

I run out and go to our room, and there's light coming out from the bottom of the door. I slowly approach it, and knock on it lightly. "Harry, it's me, Draco. Let me in." 

When I don't get a response, I try the handle but its locked. 

"Alohomora."

The door opens, and I walk in.

Thank God, Harry's laying in bed. "Harry, it's the second day back. Talk to me. I promise, the year will suck less." I just told him this wasn't the answer, I'm trying to get him out of it... but I keep doing what he's doing. He'll never trust me.

"WHY SHOULD I?!? THE YEAR WON'T SUCK LESS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS FEELS, DAMMIT!!!" 

Holy Salazar.

He's full on screaming and crying. I shut the door and dodged something... I have no idea what it was. 

"Harry, I do. I swear I do. Let me help you."

"Prove it."

I become speechless. Should I 'Prove it'? Should I let it go and force him to be helped? No, if I try to force it he'll just isolate himself even more.

I shakily grabbed the bottom of my sleeve. 

"Fine, I'll prove it. Now you'd better let me help you goddammit." I pull up my sleeves, exposing my still bloody arms. 

His face goes paler. 

"Draco... Oh my God... I- I had no idea... Shit... Sorry..." His head goes down and he stares at the floor. I walk over to him, tears starting to well up in my eyes. 

He jumps up and throws his arms around my neck, burying his head in the crook of my neck. I was startled, but soon melt into his touch. I hug him back, both of us clinging onto each other as if it is life or death.

For us it is.