Why? - a Drarry Fanfic

Chapter 6

Harry

I wait until Remus leaves to turn off my side and stare at the ceiling. I can't believe it. He knows. Draco knows. 

What's going to happen now? 

Maybe I could do it? 

Just fall, jump, or take some Muggle pills, or slit my wrists. I honestly could. Everyone hates me at this point. I just gave Remus one more  thing to worry about.

I turn on my side facing Draco and my nightstand to look at my alarm clock. 7:05 a.m.. Classes start tomorrow, and I have no idea how I'm going to survive them. At this point, I don't care, it's not like I'll be alive to graduate anyway. I get up and grab some black jeans and a hoodie, going into the bathroom to change. 

"Harry..." I hear a voice behind me, stopping me.

 I turn around and Draco's staring back at me. Shit. 

"What do you want," I say, but I don't even know if he can hear me because it comes out less than a whisper. 

"I wanted to make sure that your okay."  

I need to leave, I can't annoy anyone else with my problems. "I'm fine, I got to go."

"Umm...Okay, I guess. Do me a favor though. Make sure your back here by 4:00, please?" 

"Yeah, fine, whatever." I go into the bathroom and change in under a minute. I grab my backpack and head to the Room of Requirement. And, who's waiting for me in the common room...

"I'm not talking to you guys, I'm leaving, I'll talk to you later." 

Hermione and Ron look at me like I'm insane. 

"You're not going anywhere, you're going to explain what happened last night." Hermione says, and she stands up. She has genuine concern all over her face, and I hate it so much. Ron does too. Hermione speaks again. "Where are you going?" 

"Just the Room of Requirement." 

And I immediately regret it.

"Come on Ron, the R.O.R. would be better anyway. Come on Harry." She grabs the middle of my wrist and I flinch, but she doesn't notice. She's to busy dragging me, Ron following close behind. We finally reach it and she lets go. I consider taking the chance and running, but where would I go? And they would catch me fast. 

She paces three times and a door appears. She looks at me, wanting me to go in first. I stand there a while though, not wanting to move, wanting to disappear instead. Ron opens the door and Hermione drags me again. 

Inside is a small bedroom/common room mix. There's a bed in one corner, a nightstand beside it. On the other side is a circular table with four chairs next to a fireplace, and smack dab in the middle facing and desk is a comfy looking red couch. The entire room is gold, red, with a little bit of yellow here and there.

Hermione and Ron sit at the table, but I go and sit on the bed. I want to be as far away from them as I can. "Harry, me and Ron are going to ask you some questions. I don't want to use it, but I have some veritaserum in case we need it." 

She has what?! 

"HERMIONE, YOU HAVE WHAT?!? THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM USING FUCKING VERITASERUM! NO WAY!" 

I'm screaming at them, but I don't care. They can 'care' all they want, but they don't need to know everything about me. I can't drag them down. I can't ruin their lives, if I haven't already.

"Harry, calm down." Ron says, and then they look at eachother and nod. "First question; what were you doing with Remus this morning?" 

I'm only going to give them short answers, if I don't lie instead. "We were just talking." 

There, that should satisfy them. 

"Okay, why was it that when we came in you looked like you were dying then? What was that?," Ron asks, and Salazar, I hate him for it.

"It was nothing, are we almost done?" 

I know we just started, but it feels like hours. They need to leave. Like now. 

"How about this. You guys leave and we can talk later, when you aren't armed with fucking Veritaserum. I'll talk to you guys at lunch or something." 

They look so disappointed, and damn it hurts. 

But I don't care. I don't need their pity, I don't need to run their lives too.

Eventually they get up and leave, thank God, and close to door. They hate me so much right now, even if they haven't said anything I can feel it.

I wait a few minutes to make sure that their gone before reaching for my backpack. After digging around for a moment, I feel the familiar feeling of cold metal against my finger tips. I grab the blade and pull up my sleeve.

1 for Draco finding out.

2 for Remus finding out.

4 for showing Ron and Hermione accidentally

3 for me not being able to do anything right.

I do the small colculation in my head and start making the various cuts, blood dripping from my wrist and on the bed. Slowly, I start to cry, and my tears mixed with the blood.

1....5....13

Before I know it both my wrist have so many deep cuts.

It burns. 

But I deserve it. I deserve the pain I'm receiving, I deserve to die. I wish I did last year almost, because then everyone could move on, easier, anyway. I wouldn't get in the way anymore. 

My vision starts to get spotty. I can see black dots, and I feel faint. Then I hear a knock on the door. 

Is it Ron, or Hermione? Or did they send someone to get me, maybe Remus? 

I try to shove the blade in my bag, but the door open before I can.

Draco Malfoy is staring at me, as I'm sitting in a pool of my own blood. He rushes over...