Why? - a Drarry Fanfic

Chapter 32

Draco

"Draco... wake up."

Someone prods me awake by painfully jabbing me in the gut.

"Hey, that hurt- Harry? What time is it?"

"You know those letters you've been getting?" he asks. I nod. Last week I got one saying I'm coming to Hogwarts first, as you have not responded. "I don't think they were lying." He points to the door, and I realize the fear etched on his face. "Don't worry, it'll be fine."

We both jump when someone knocks. "Wh-Who is it?" I call.

"Draco. Is that you?"

Oh... bloody Merlin... it's him...

"S-Severus?" I whisper. "Prove it!"

"Your fourth birthday. Your mum sent you over to my house. We played Exploding Snap and Gobstones all day, and for the cake it was a mini chocolate cake shaped like a Snitch."

I throw the door open. There he is.

His skin is grey, face sunken. His hair is matted and tangled, longer than I've ever seen it, tied back. His eyes look... sad, happy, thankful, and some other things I can't make out. His face has tears running down it, glistening in the faint light coming through the window. He's wearing Muggle sweatpants and a baggy jumper.

He's never looked like this before. I want the old Sev back, even if he was a complete arse. He didn't look like he'd drop dead at any moment like this one.

"Severus..." I choke on something nonexistent.

He lied to me... I wanted to die, I thought he was dead.

"You... you bastard..." I whisper. I don't think I mean it, but it feels good. "You bastard! You left me alone to fend for myself! How could you!? How could you leave me alone like that! I've basically been disowned, I had no one, and you-"

He puts a hand up to my mouth. I have to refrain from biting it. "Why don't we do this in your dorm and not in the hallway, hmm?" he asks softly. His eyes glance behind me, spotting Harry no doubt, but he doesn't put his mask up.

He comes in anyway, shuts the door, and puts silencing charms up. "Draco, please, let me explain-"

"No! No! It's been almost seven months and I thought you were dead! Do you even know how much that hurt me, you being dead!" I scream.

"Draco, let me explain, please. I was doing it to protect you, Draco."

"Protect me!? How in Merlin's name was that protecting me?! I could have died and you wouldn't have been there!"

"The Death Eaters knew, Draco! They know! They read about it in the Daily Prophet! At first I pretended to be dead after Potter," he doesn't spat the name anymore, "and his friends left. I drank an antidote and healed my wounds, and after some complex magic it looked like I was barely breathing. Otherwise, Voldemort would just use a killing curse and then I'd be gone for good. I needed to pretend, if he saw me he would keep the war raging for longer. I don't want to go into detail just yet.

"Then some escaped Death Eater read the paper, found that I was loyal to Albus all along, and didn't believe I had died. Had I come to the Manor, or wherever you were staying, they would have killed you, Narcissa, your friends, and lastly, me."

He could have come to Hogwarts, Minerva would have protected him, he would have been here when...

When I had my breakdowns.

When Harry almost died...

He would have been here for all of it and he wasn't. He doesn't know I have a boyfriend, what I want to be, where I want to live, where I want to find a job. He just wanted to protect me...