Why? - a Drarry Fanfic

Chapter 4

A/N okay this is gonna be a longer chapter, yes I am aware it's shit.                   -Phoenix

Draco

I watch Harry sit on the floor of the tower for a few minutes, before finally getting out my wand. I don't believe he would really do it, but I can't see what he is writing, so I have no idea.

I conjure a Patronus. "Go, find Remus Lupin, and tell him Harry's in the Astronomy tower, and he needs to get here fast. It's an emergency." I send my Patronus to go find him and continue to watch Harry through the small window.

He puts down the parchment, and I grip the door handle. He doesn't do anything after that, and I continue my death grip on the door. 'Is he gonna do it? Where the hell is Remus? What the hell?'  I almost open the door, but he still isn't moving. He is still bleeding, and he needs those cuts to be healed. When I saw them they looked deep.

"Malfoy? What's wrong? Where is Harry?" Finally. Remus is here. 

"He's on the tower, I found him maybe twenty minutes ago, and he had cut himself." I'm not sure if he can even understand me. "He was bleeding on the floor, when I confronted him he ran. He had a parchment and quill. I think he might..." 

"Okay, calm down. Go, get your broom and wait at the bottom. I'll talk to him. Go!" Now he's the one who is shocked and scared. I do as he said. I grab my broom, and run to the bottom...

Remus

I open the door, and slowly walk in. He looks up at me, his eyes red and puffy. He backs away until he's in a corner. He looks terrified, eyes open wide, taking shuddering breaths. I walk towards him, making sure not to scare him even more. 

"Harry, you're okay. It's Remus, okay?" I keep walking towards him , calmly talking to him. 

"No. Leave me alone. Please." He starts sobbing. "Please. Go away, you can't...it's my fault. It's my fault, Fred, Sirius, Tonks..." He buries his head in his knees. 

Fred? Sirius, Tonks...his fault? What did he...oh.

 "Harry, look at me. It is not your fault."

Why does he think it is his fault? It's no one's fault but Voldemorts.

"No. No, no, no, no. Leave. Me. Alone. Please." He's whispering, almost to himself. That's when I notice the blood. 

I need to get him to Poppy. 

"Harry, I need to get you to the hospital wing. You're bleeding, and those are deep cuts. Okay? Come on." 

I grab his shoulders, and when I try to lift him up, it is almost like lifting a eight year old. He's so light. 

"Harry, stand up, come on, we have to get you to Poppy." I put his arm around my neck. 

"Dizzy..." Harry's eyes are half closed, and he is mumbling. "I don't wanna... hospital wing...office instead..." 

Okay, so he didn't want to go to the hospital wing, he wants to go to my office. That would probably work better anyway, my office is closer.

Wait, I need to let Draco know he's okay, and I still need to heal these cuts. We walk down to my office, which is only two floors down. I send draco my Patronus, not saying anything. Hopefully that will let him know Harry is okay.

I transfigure my chair into a bed, and lay him down on it. 

"Okay, Harry, I'm going to heal the cuts." Jesus Christ, he's skinny.  

Why hasn't Ron or Hermione notice? Why didn't he talk to me over summer, or visit the Weasley's? Why is this happening, on their first day back? Oh Jesus Christ, how long has he been like this?'

Pushing these thoughts aside I reach for my wand, but it isn't where I set it. I search my pockets and it isn't in any of them. 

"Harry, I'm going to go look for my wand, okay? Stay here, don't move, don't do anything." 

He just looks away from me, and nods. I go out in the hall, and see my wand maybe ten feet away. I grab my wand and go back to my office, when McGonagall walks by.

She stopped in front of me. 

Are you kidding me? What could she want?

"Remus, have you any idea where Potter is? He's not in his dorm." Oh great. Harry would probably kill me if I told her and he didn't know that she knew. 

"Yeah, I've got him. I needed to...umm...talk to him about something." She looks at me, nods, and leaves. 

Thank God 

When she is out of sight, I open the door and walk in. Harry is sitting up, clawing at his wrist, making them bleed even more than they were before. 

"Harry, stop. Okay, let go of your wrist. I need to heal them."

He looks at me but doesn't stop. If anything he scratches them harder. My wand is in my hand still and I quickly walk over to him. I snatch his arm away from him. 

"Why? Why are you doing this to yourself?" He doesn't fight me. That I'm grateful for. But he doesn't talk either. I put a simple healing spell on both his wrist, not healing them completely, but making them fade to scars.

"Tell me. Why are you doing this to yourself. I want to help you," I say in a stern tone. 

He needs to tell me so I can help. 

"B-because I need to. I... I, it's my fault. If I had just been faster they would be alive. Ron and Hermione are gonna hate me." That last part he whispers. Hate him for what? 

"Harry, why would they hate you? Their your best friends, they love you no matter what." 

"Are you, umm, okay with.. gay people?" 

Is this what he thought they would hate him for? 

"Harry, I couldn't care less who you date or love. Why, are you?" 

"Bi... but... I've liked someone for a while and everyone hates him, it's my fault that his parents are in Azkaban, and he hates me. I ruined his life, b-but... but this summer, he sent me an owl, and now... I'm so confused..." 

Malfoy, it's got to be Malfoy. Everyone hates him, for whatever reason, probably his past and his parents. Harry was at his trial to make sure Malfoy didn't get any Azkaban time. No wonder he's scared.

What owl?

"Harry. Is he in Slytherin?" I receive a nod. "Harry, is it Malfoy?" I receive a second nod, and then a boy in tears, curled in a ball on my lap.

Well, fuck.