I see you, Luna

CHAPTER NINE

I was completely flabbergasted when I swung the door open. I didn't know what to say and my jaw fell opened in surprise. It's not possible. I stared hardly at the wavy-haired girl sitting on my bed. She was flipping through the pages of my Literature book that I've left lying on my pillow. Just as when the girl finally realized that I've already silently went in, she looked at me and flashed a smile you could never imagine how warm and wide. She briskly ran to me and gave me the tightest hug I've ever experienced. She's so warm and smelled so good. How could this possibly be happening now? Is this a dream? Luna can already see and walk normally. I'm so happy for her. But wait, I was not suppose to feel happy, I was suppose to feel mad at her. And I don't have to feel ecstatic now that I've already seen her after 2 years, she left me without even telling it to my face when she had all the chance. I was feeling mixed emotions and there was a minute of silence when Luna cried and spoke.

"Chad..I'm, I'm so sorry that I have to ask my mom to write everything down for me in a letter.. I was too coward to tell the truth personally, it's just that.. It would kill me to feel that you'll be deeply saddened by the news that I was supposed to tell you.. I need you to understand that I have always wanted to tell you the truth but I missed so many chances until... until the day I feared most finally came.. Chad, I don't know if..."

"If I could forgive you!?" I pushed Luna away as hard as I can I almost threw her body on the floor in anger.

"I have given you the time, effort, friendship and all the love that I could possibly give! You ruined everything! You left me without telling everything straight to my face! I was so angry and so lonely all at the same time and you didn't even write me, nor call me! and I was so not myself... You know...I didn't know what to do, I wasn't prepared to lose someone so precious to me Luna! And I know that you know how I'd feel about it..." my angered gradually subsided and I kept myself from crying as I uttered the last words of my sentence.

"Chad! Listen! everything is not like what you think it is or it was! Everything is just so complicated, especially for me!"

"Don't dare talk about your feelings about this! I was the one left alone!"

"Yes Chad. I know that. It's just that you'd be.."

I shrugged. I turned around and clutched my fist in anger. I didn't intend to yell at her but my emotions made me do it. I have loved Luna and I know it's wrong but I think that I always will. Especially now that she's already here. We can see each other now and we can go anywhere she had always wanted to go. But it was already too late. Candice and I are already going out and there's no room for my feelings for Luna, not anymore.

I sighed and breathed heavily, still facing against Luna. She suddenly began crying. I turned around and saw her kneeling, almost kissing the floor.Her cry became louder by the second. I was confused, I didn't know whether I'll let go of the anger that I've been keeping for 2 long years and let the love that I have always felt for her reign in my heart, or just let her go out of my room without making up. This is so insane. why am I being so harsh to Luna.

I rushed to her, held her shoulders and pulled her up gently. I embraced her and wiped the tears all over her face. She calmed down and smiled a bit.

"Chad I..."

"I understand Luna, I understand. Just... just don't ever do that again. You know that... that I love you, and I care for you so much as a friend, and it was just so unacceptable that you were able to sleep peacefully for 2 years without hearing anything from me, without writing me a letter nor calling me! It's so... aaggh... I dunno... I was so, mad at you Luna."

Luna kept quiet. She did not react. It's as if she was looking for the answers in her head.

"I'm sorry... I had to study basic writing and reading.. and I was actually trying to reach you, I didn't know what happened. Maybe... I just didn't realize that the time flew by so fast that it had already been two years since I left you... I'm so sorry Chad... I will not blame you if you'll still be angry for as long as..."

I can't take it anymore. All of her excuses made me more downhearted. I felt that I was not important to her, that I was not special. But I love Luna. I wanted to lie to myself and just drag her out of my room, but just as when I took a glimpse of her face, my whole body felt like it's freezing and no words would come out of my mouth.

"No, it's fine." I interrupted abruptly. "Just... pull yourself together. Don't think too much about it Luna, let's just forget what had happened." I continued while I escorted her to take a seat on my bed.

"Chad, I'm so sorry... I thought that you'll be happy to see me. I mean, I expected too much. I didn't think that you'll be very mad at me and I'm deeply sorry.."

I could no longer control myself. I held her shoulders with my both hands and pulled her closer to me. I almost pressed my lips on hers but I was taken aback. Luna's eyes widened and by that sight I was taken aback. "I just want to feel you closer Luna, I've missed you so much."

Luna embraced me and held me for some time. She brushed her fingers through my hair and smiled at me with a tear on her eye. The deafening silence was then disturbed by contagious laughs and smiles. We missed each other so much. The next thing I knew, I was back to my old self.