A Wizards Misadventures

~~Bonus Level Twelve~~

AN: This really is a bonus level. I wrote the first part and forgot to write the rest. The Ophis interlude was intended to be scrapped but the muse started talking and if I don't write what she says I can't focus.

[|||| =LEVEL 12= ||||]

[|| =!BONUS LEVEL!= ||]

Love is hard

Irisai, dragonborn and holder of many other less important or inaccurate titles, was ready to kill her future husband.

She had traveled long, far, and hard. When she used clairvoyance it had pointed her a long, long ways away it seemed. When she had seen the strange machines the people had used to travel the roads she had first attacked it with unrelenting force and threw it on it's side. It had roared and groaned. She assumed that it still lived and threw fireballs at it. It exploded.

The man inside survived, if barely, and she healed him. That was how she learned about cars. After stealing one for herself she had to admit that they were far superior to horses, though she was puzzled that they broke down quite quickly. Then she learned about fuel, which made perfect sense to her. Horses needed food. Petrol, diesel, and those other liquids were the different types of food cars could eat.

Strangely enough nobody thought magic was real where she was, which was odd, but she caught on quickly. If nobody thought magic was real then nobody could say that she had been invisible when she stole all their stuff. The silly superstitions of the peasants of the world were much more to her advantage than in Skyrim. She got some very strange looks in her dragonscale armor and was nearly put in a cell twice. Light, leather armour barring a helmet was apparently acceptable though. She saw some young maidens smoking in similar attire, though they weren't using pipes but rather small white sticks. Well, it was no concern of hers.

The only issue was her husband. He was only sometimes in the world. He appeared often enough that it was clearly his home, and he arrived back in it every night, but he was so, SO far away!

Thus far she had crossed half the world to get to him since half the world was how far away she was from him. Europe had been nice. They spoke common there, thankfully. Asia was much harder to get through. They all spoke different languages and used different currencies. Luckily, gold was a good way to catch anybody's eye. That and thievery. Thievery was a staple trade of any decent adventurer, though she took it above and beyond to the point that she could literally steal the clothes off a person's back, to the awe and confusion of the thieves' guild.

And after such a journey she found that she had to cross a small ocean to get to the nation of Japan, a small island nation much like Solstheim except that it wasn't drowning in ash, though it did have some great hot springs apparently. It was something to look forward to.

Yes, she would finally find her hubby. He would look at her in shock as she, the most beautiful woman in Tamriel, had collected Elder scrolls, dealt with Daedra, crossed oceans, tamed wild cars, and been assaulted by the strange magical staffs of the law several times (they were nothing against the typically useless wards she had learned).

For but a minute she would recite the grand loving words she had recited over and over in preparation to awe him by her fervor in her pursiut of one of the few men she had met that weren't stunned stupid by her beauty, smelled like a pig, were arrogant to the point of demanding her hand in marriage, or as weak as a newborn babe.